Kasey Who?

A few months ago,  I was flipping through channels and landed on The Bachelorette. I’m not a huge fan of the show, but it always brings back happy memories of piling on the Alpha Phi couches (and getting there early so you didn’t have to sit on the side that smelled odd) to watch the show.

After watching for a few minutes, they showed the bio of one of the dudes. His name was Kasey Kahl and he was from Fresno, CA. I got a flash of recognition. I knew this guy, but from where? Another show? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks; he dated my roommate freshman year of college.

Yes, I am so very lucky to say that I have met the fame whore before he started dating the shnoz, Vienna (if you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s good. It means you’re doing something more meaningful with your life than watching trash TV. I, however, cannot say this) (also, what is with that hair?! could she please get a new stylist, stat). If you had asked me what my roommate’s “back home” boyfriend’s name was, I couldn’t have told you for a million dollars. But flash that cheesy smile, a name and a location and it all came flooding back.

My freshman year roommate and I were randomly paired up and did not exactly hit it off. We were polar oppositites who grew to tolerate each other and gasp! Even like each other a little by the end of the year. I tried to look her up on facebook to send her a note and get her take on the ex’s new found fame and sadly, I could not find her. It seems she has a respectable job now and I’m sure doesn’t want a rash of people asking her about past exploits. But I think I’m safe in saying that her freshman-year-of-college self would be quoted along the lines of “Yeah, I broke up with him. So I win”.

Scottsdale Moms Blog

Today I am so excited to share with all of you an article I wrote for Scottsdale Moms Blog!

I met Joy (a co-creator of the site) a few weeks ago and noticed her email address was @scottsdalemomsblog. I asked her what the site was and if they took contributing writers. Several conversations, ideas and weeks later, my first article on nursery decorating is up! I’m hoping to write more kid related Do It Yourself articles for them too. Don’t worry, you can get your fill of snarky mommy stories in The Goon Room like always – this will just be for my creative, less sarcastic side!

If you are a local mom, be sure to subscribe to Scottsdale Moms Blog and also like them on FaceBook. They have amazing playdates, great giveaways and insightful articles, all new and fresh every day. Enjoy!


Why Does Saving the Planet Have to be so Ugly?

I hate CFL bulbs. There. I said it. I am not an environment hater, I just can’t stand the ugly, orange glow from CFL bulbs.

Don’t get me wrong, I see all the benefits of these ugly, little beasts; the cost savings, the lower use of energy, the saving of the planet, blah blah blah. All do not add up to pretty light. And yes, it does make a difference. I do not want to look like a drag queen all day because I couldn’t tell that I had too much blush on because it was drowned out by the orange light.

Not to mention that the opposite on the CFL color spectrum is so bright and sterile white, it gives me flash backs to the operating room when Baylor was born.

The solution? GE Reveal CFL bulbs. We have bought two forms of these now and I love the color. Yes, it still has a little of the orange glow when the bulb is warming up, but not so harsh as it’s offensive CFL friends.  And we put a flood light version in the kitchen and it blends in seamlessly with it’s incandesent cousins.

See? Not to shabby:

So if you would like to save the environment and a few dollars without sacrificing your mental state to orange light, try a few of the GE Reveal versions of CFL bulbs. Your non-drag queen looking self will thank me.


It’s a Good Thing You’re Cute, Kid

Maybe it’s the heat. Maybe she’s got a molar coming in. Maybe her new-found independence from preschool is being demonstrated at home. Maybe she’s just two but the munchkin is making me crazy this week!

This is an actual conversation that happened this week in the car:

“Baylor. Shoes. Off.”

“No, please leave your shoes on.”

“Shoes. Off. Now.”

“B, we’re almost to the store. Please leave your shoes on.”

minor meltdown and then reluctantly the shoes go back on.

“Yea!! Good listening!!”

“Shoes. Off. Again. Mommy.”

dirty look from the front seat…..

“Yea Baylor!!! I did it! Shoes! On!”

“I think you’re missing the point kid…”


That is a nice version of the battles and lessons of the week! If I say yes, she says no. If I say do it, she says no. If I say no, she says yes.  If she gets rewarded for listening well, then she does the bad behavior all over to get the reward. I either need her to move on to the next phase or for it to cool down so she can go out and, as my mom would say, blow the stink off….

What’s in Baylor’s Bag – Crib Edition

On Monday night, I was at a meeting for the water company during Baylor’s bed time. I snuck in her room when I got home to give her a kiss and pull a few of her stuffed animals out of her crib. What I found was this:

Not just your average crib fair. Here’s what she was snoozing with:


Minnie Mouse

Franchesca the doll


Baby’s bottle

A moose

5 books

A plumb

A banana

3 tea cups and saucers

2 angels

A pillow

And the flowers that are on the table next to crib that she can grab and pull in

Sweet Sweet Insanity

I just finished The Help  and absolutely loved it. It was so well written, you could almost hear the characters speaking (not to be confused with the normal voices in my head). The part I liked the best was that the there was still story after the climax – I hate when you get to the best part of the book and poof! It’s over.

I noted a favorite line from the book:

“…it was like something cracked open inside of me, not unlike a watermelon, cool and soothing and sweet. I always thought insanity would be a dark, bitter feeling, but it is drenching and delicious if you really roll around in it.”

I read it aloud to PW – which got me thinking. Why do I like this phrase so much? Is it because it’s so different and so beautifully written? Or because I feel it’s so true?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the answer? Is that it really just depends on the day 😉


While at a Scottsdale Moms Blog playdate last week, I was standing in line to get a balloon animal for Baylor. Yes, I was standing in line, Baylor was running amok near the wild animal table. She pretends to like the animals, but really, she’s just there for the hand sanitizer. I had an eye on my wild woman and was chatting with my friend/neighbor and another mom who were also waiting in line.

After a few minutes, I stopped to let the ladies I was speaking with know that I was in fact listening to them, I just needed to keep both eyes on B so that she didn’t free the Chinchilla or something more creepy crawly from Jungle Jill. They both laughed and said “I haven’t had a conversation while looking at the person I was talking to since my oldest was born!”. It dawned on me – this was not a conversation, but a momversation.

A momverstaion is a conversation between two or more mothers that A. does not require eye contact with anyone but your kids B. is paused more than once to wipe a hand, pick up a crying kiddo or yell “stop with the hand sanitizer already!!” only to be picked right back up like nothing happened and C. can be had doing any kind of activity including nursing, feeding, changing a diaper, etc.

It is a skill that is honed among moms. It’s difficult to learn and requires much patience and practice. Especially when there is a severe drought of sleep in the household. But it is a necessity if one ever wants to have a meaningful conversation with a friend, husband or anyone for that matter. So next time you’re talking to a friend who is a mom and she does not look at you, just know that she is using her honed skill of multi tasking, or momversating.

How Not to Use the Potty

Good God I hate potty training. A lot has to do with trying to convince Baylor that this in inappropriate:

She gets it. She totally gets what she’s supposed to do. The problem is that she wants to sit on the potty ALL THE TIME. It’s a constant routine of sit, wipe, wash and then re-diaper and dress. I’m talking like 6 times an hour. It is making me craaaazzzyyy!!!! I vote for diapers and let her college roommate show her the ropes.

Band-Aids Fix All

Peter came home from work on Monday note feeling well. It might be the second time in his 5 years at the firm. He told Bay he had a headache and was going to take a nap. She was so excited to snuggle in bed with him and break out her new doctor’s kit. She also insisted he needed an Elmo band-aid on his head – not only because it looked cool, but because it would make it feel better. She topped off the bandage with a kiss and settled in for some “tar-toons” (cartoons).


The CarCart – Bain of my Existance

What I want to know is this: who is the asshole who created the car cart at the grocery store?? Because this person should be forced to push this contraption around with them everywhere they go and see what a pain in the ass it is.

First of all, the placement of the car is not helpful. It’s low and in front of the basket which makes it impossible to A. steer and B. see where you’re going. Many an end of aisle display has been damaged by these beasts.

Second, because the actual car part is low to the ground, the kiddo is constantly hanging out a window or the windshield trying to get a better view. Or worse case, she decides it’s more fun to push the cart. Thus making what is already an annoying process, impossible.

Third, the damn things are always filthy. I even asked the manager at Safeway (who is on a first name basis with both Baylor and I because we’re there so much) if they could clean them. He says they sprayed them in bleach and scrubbed and they still look like a herd of pigs stomped through them.

I’ve had to resort to more and more elaborate lies to keep B out of them. The car is out of gas, it’s stuck, it’s broken, it’s only for big kids…the list goes on an on. And then there are days where the lies just don’t work and I give into the persistence. Only to end up pushing the cart with the help of my assistant – which turns a half hour trip into an hour plus. All the while cursing the car cart….