Just try and not smile while watching this
Tag: funny
Hoodwinked
We’ve been had. Swindled. Conned. Tricked. Duped.
And all by a four year old.
It all started a few weeks ago. Baylor started getting up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom. She would come into our room and go into our bathroom. I didn’t think anything of it until the number started growing to 6-7 times a night. And then requiring a tuck in. Or a glass of water. Or to sleep in our bed. It was clustered over about 2 hours each night. Just as soon as I would decide that something had to be done, she would sleep through the night. She’s always been a sleep terrorist, but at this age, it’s unacceptable.
During a particularly ugly argument, B broke down crying and said “Mommy please. I just have to go to the bathroom”. It’s not the crying that gets me, it’s the good manners. I decided to take her to the doctor, convinced that there was something physically wrong.
After an examination, the doctor asked Baylor to describe what she does at night. Bay went into great detail about how she gets out of bed, walks by the kitchen, across the carpet in our room into our bathroom, turns on the light, closes the door….all the while the doctor is looking at me with a face that says “yeah, you’re kid’s fine. She’s just trouble”. His suggestion was to tell her that she was not to use our bathroom but rather she needed to use her own bathroom. And she did just that – six times in one night. And left the light on and the door open causing her brother to wake up at 4:45am confused about what he was supposed to be doing. Awake? Asleep? Hungry? He didn’t know. He just knew he was pissed that he was awake and everyone else would be awake too, except B who slept through it all.
After a subsequent conversation with our doctor family friend, I finally agreed that it was behavioral and not physical. But no amount of threats, attention or conversations was stopping the behavior. And my overall appearance is sketchy at best, let alone with little sleep. I was getting desperate.
While at the mall shopping for a birthday gift, Baylor fell in love with everything at the Disney store. And that’s when I settled on bribery. I told her that if she could go four nights without getting up more than once and without waking anyone up, she could pick out anything in the Disney store. She agreed and was excited. We drew out four Mickey Mouse heads on the chalkboard for her to circle each morning that she did what she was asked.
The first night went horribly. She was up multiple times and a fight broke out at 1am trying to get her back to her own bed. But the next three nights went swimmingly. Which is when it dawned on me – we’ve been had. We just bribed a kid to do what she has been doing for years and is perfectly capable of doing. We’re rewarding her for sleeping like she has always done.
And to her, I say well played Baylor. Well played.
Cheater Chicken
I’ve had an epiphany.
Every week I buy boneless, skinless chicken breasts with the intention of tenderizing them, seasoning and then grilling them so that we have fresh and cooked chicken ready to eat.
And more weeks than I care to admit, it goes bad before I can do all of the above.
What happens is it gets to be 5pm and things start to get nuts around our house. It’s too soon to eat dinner, yet people are hungry. Peter’s not due home for at least an hour and kids need baths and the house needs to be cleaned up and Auggie is insisting that his little 25lbs self be held so that he gets a closer look at whatever I’m doing. So my choice is to either have a screaming, crying baby cling to my leg while I pound on some chicken and then sweat to death putting it on the grill….or I let it go. You can see why I waste so much money on raw chicken.
Last week I picked up a rotisserie chicken for dinner at Peter’s request. To my utter delight, both kids dug in and devoured half the chicken. And that’s when it hit me; rotisserie. chicken. It’s cheap ($5 for a whole chicken!), it’s delicious, everyone eats it AND IT’S ALREADY COOKED. I could buy the chicken, tear it apart and have chicken ready to go for lunches and dinners with no effort. And a third of the price.
Cheaper. Easier. Healthy. And everyone eats it. A. Ma. Zing.
WINNER WINNER CHEATER CHICKEN FOR DINNER!!
Say Cheese
What do you do when your very favorite family pictures don’t include your newest addition? Why you recreate the exact same pictures. Down to the same clothes. Well, I wore the same thing anyway. Crazy? Maybe. But I’m so thrilled with the result, sign me up for a padded room and straight jacket.
Our good friends and sorority sister Gina and her husband Rene took the family pictures that have hung in our kitchen for the last 4 years. They were taken on our front patio and the colors of the teal bench and yellow flowers just so happened to coordinate with all of our decor.
Since those pictures were taken, Gina and Rene have moved to Seattle. And in addition to missing their presence, we missed their photographic skills! Thankfully I have several talented friends so I asked Natalie, another sorority sister and my little sis from our Alpha Phi days to snap some new pics for us. When she asked what I was wanted to do, I pointed to the wall and said “that. I want that. Exactly”. And so that’s what she did.
Now that I have finally gotten the right color frame, our new family photos are up! By the way – thank you Pottery Barn for changing the shade of white of your standard white frames and then not telling anyone. I bought it. Framed it. And then realized that once the sun goes down, it’s totally obvious that it’s a different color of white. Thankfully Pottery Barn knows they are nuts and happily found me the right shade of frame and exchanged the wrong color despite my lack of receipt and packaging.
So what do you think? 
I couldn’t fit all of my favorites on the wall
So perfectly captures her funny 4 year old self
Natalie’s website will be up and running in the next few weeks – I’ll be sure to post a link just as soon as it’s live. If you just can’t wait to book your session, comment below and I’ll make sure to get you in touch! Thank you Natalie for capturing such great memories for us!
Auggie 10 Months
The big man is once again off the charts for height and weight at 31 inches and 25 pounds. He is getting very skilled at “hands up stand up!!” and has even taken a few unassisted steps – yeah for my aching back! Can’t believe it’s almost time to start planning this little stinker’s birthday party.
So long!
Standing! Walking!
American Girl
When I was a kid, I used to look at the American Girl catalog for hours. I loved day dreaming about which doll I wanted and all the accessories that you could get for them. Baylor has now taken on the tradition of pouring over the catalog for days – she cuts out the things she likes and she circles the pictures of Shirley (who is the baby version of the American Girl dolls). And if I thought the accessories were fun when I was little, the things the dolls have now are nuts. They have everything including a bike hot dog cart for the dolls. Totally nuts…and yet adorable.
God Bless America
There are few things that feel as patriotic as the 4th of July in Montana. There are purple mountains majesty, amber waves of, well grass, but still and all the cowboy hats too. Hubbard’s always puts on a cookout that screams holiday and Mike has a fireworks show that is second only to professional displays. Watching the kiddos run around in their red, white and blue is really the best.
Aunts Sarah and Nancy. Auggie is a big fan.
Thank goodness we had a professional taking our picture. Vern (his real name is Eric. However the summer he worked at the ranch there were too many Erics so they started calling him Vern. Why? Because he’s just such a Vern) literally took 40 pictures and there were only FOUR where A) everyone is looking B) Peter’s eyes are open C) everyone is smiling and or not crying. I’ve realized also that Augg has inherited PW’s squint and head tilt.
Seriously. Look at those eyes.
Again, the cuteness.
Cousin Madi, Sienna and Baylor with Madi’s patriotic press on nails.
Pig roast! It always tastes delicious, I just don’t like knowing what my dinner’s face looked like so I make Peter get me a plate.
This was the first year that B did sparklers and I didn’t have a heart attack. We were spelling out her name.
It really is Big Sky Country
There were friends and friends of friends at the lodge for dinner and they thought that the sparklers were the fireworks. They about lost their minds when they saw Mike’s AMAZING firework display. Peter is always the fireman at the docking station. I’ve asked him not to tell me what happens down there because I never like hearing about how he almost lost an eye or a finger or is now deaf. Baylor always watches with her hands over her ears and I was anxious to see what Augg thought. Thankfully he loved them – and by that I mean he didn’t scream so it goes down as a win in my book. Fireworks? Check!
I Love a Parade
PW does not, however, which is why he’s not in any of these pictures. He claims that he doesn’t enjoy it, but I think the fact that he has a heart attack every time Baylor runs into the street to get candy has something to do with it. Which is why he goes fishing when we go the Livingston Parade.
I, on the other hand, LOVE the parade. I love the rodeo queens. I love the Costco “float” where they throw out rolls of toilet paper. I love the totally random groups of people that roll down the street and call themselves a float. I love the man who drives his truck through with a sign saying that he’s been in the parade for the last 65 consecutive years. I love that you can sit on the sidewalk outside of a bar and legally drink. It’s all around good fun.
The Noni with Ms.B and me with Augg.
Ready to get started!
Love the rodeo queens. Actually, I think was a queen wannabe…
In my defense – it was empty and I didn’t know he was chewing on it…
Baylor, Zoe and Siena trolling for candy
The big man enjoying the wagon to himself
Cowgirl Up
Ms. B has been dying to ride horse since taking the Mini Horse Hands class last summer at the zoo. When we went down to feed the horses some carrots, she began begging us to let her ride. Thankfully, Uncle Mike agreed to take both B and cousin Zoe for a spin around the corral.
The Barn Bar
Big man trying out a saddle
Star, Cahl and Seabass (my favorite)
Auggie was unexpectedly not a fan of the horses. He literally shuddered when he pet them. Hopefully it’s only a temporary reaction.
Ready to ride!
Can’t stand the cuteness
As long as he was not actually touching the horse, he was happy
Ring Around the Rosie
This picture summarizes the whole trip for Baylor. She was loving her independence and cousins to pal around with!
Wild Montana Skies
The summer vacations continue! We landed safely (and on time thankyouverymuch Allegiant)last night and as I loaded up the pictures today, I realized how bummed I am to be back in the desert. MT has a little piece of our hearts and it gets harder and harder to leave.
This marked Auggie’s first real trip and plane ride. It went….ok. Not amazing but not horrible either. There was a fair amount of crying before and after takeoff but I think the temperature was to blame. Temperature you ask? Yes, it was 117 degrees while walking across and standing in line on the tarmac and then at least 102 on the plane. Peter bought a little battery operated fan and I totally made fun of him…until we were sitting on the plane. Yes PW, you were right. The fan was a fantastic idea. Pun intended.
Someone did really like taking off.
Eventually we got to this. I got to eat my Mike and Ikes AND read my book. The return flight? Not picture worthy…
This girl? Is amazing.
The worst part about traveling to the ranch is that once you land after the 2 hour flight, you have a two hour drive. It’s rough when you’re an adult. It’s murder when you’re a baby and just. want. to. crawl. We finally pulled in and turned the banshees loose in the grass. After a little unpacking when the sun was finally setting around 11pm, we sat on the deck in rocking chairs. I was holding Auggie and my brain was buzzing. And much like a loud noise stops you in your tracks, the dead silence hit me like a train. I suddenly was able to take a breath and realize that we had made it. We were in one piece and not in too bad of shape. So there we sat, breathing in the cool air listening to the soft squeak of the rocking chairs and letting vacation begin.
The Goon Room 