Tag: funny

If You Need Me, I’m in the Bathroom

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Where the hell have I been for two days? I’ll tell you…it’s spring break for Bay this week (why the hell 2 year olds need a spring break from their grueling 3 half days a week, I don’t know. I guess it’s more for their freakishly patient teachers, but still… not that I don’t love my munchkin, Momma’s just gotten real used to those precious 12 hours of free time a week to do crazy stuff like work) and we are, drum roll please, potty training!

Yes, the bain of my existence as a parent is finally happening. We’ve knuckled down, broke out the timer, the potty, the big girl undies, the M&M’s and gasp! stayed in the house for 3 days straight. Well not really. I couldn’t take it so we made the super fast 5 minute trip to Noni’s house today so I could run a few errands without the fear of a wet car seat and without visiting the Costco, Sunflower, CVS and Safeway bathrooms repeatedly.

In short, I have been enjoying a little quiet / work time during the oh-so-brief nap times this week. All is going well so we will likely survive the week with little pee pee poured out for the homies and thus call it a success. Until then, it may be a little quiet around here…

Cherry Baby

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Last week I was flipping through radio stations while driving my loaner car (gotta love a free loaner while mine’s getting service!) when I came across the oldie’s station. Neil Diamond, one of my all time favorites, was singing Cherry Baby. I was singing along and looked to the car in front and to the right of me. I stared at the personalized license plate for a minute before it hit me what it said:

CHRYBBY

Tell me that that license plate does not say Cherry Baby! So I saw a license plate that said Cherry Baby while listening to Cherry Baby. I was in awe. What are the odds? Then I was struck by the meaning – was this a good sign or a bad sign? What are the ramifications of a coincidence like this? Am I going to win the lottery or get pink eye? I guess only time will tell…and fingers crossed for the lottery outcome.

Big Pig 2012

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This weekend marked the second annual Big Pig Hunt by PW and his buddy Brian. And “thankfully”, this year it was a success.

Last year, the dynamic duo drove north and east to a remote location to hunt where they endured freezing temperatures, rain and no Javalina. This year they stuck closer to town, had 75 degree temps and still no pigs. The little devils are very attracted to trash so they terrorize neighborhoods and recycle bins rather than forage for food in the desert. I tried to tell PW they should just rent a house on the fringes of town, sit on the patio and pick the little beasts off as they knock over the trash cans. But the MEN like to camp. And hike. And pack a really ridiculous amount of gear – so much so that they were prepared for any scenario except for the apocalypse, and even then they would have been able to put up a good fight.

Sunday morning I checked my email to find this:

And yes, it’s only half a pig. Don’t ask why because I didn’t want to know. After seeing this, I began to panic wondering if Babe was coming home with PW and worse, what the hell he was going to do with it.

Thankfully, after a few pictures, Babe went home with Brian. I never did get a clear answer on what was going to become of him (her actually) so my guard is up for any suspicious packages from place like “Tom’s Tawdry House of Taxidermy” or “Craig’s Creative Creations”. Much like the beaver pelt PW bought in Montana one year, I threatened that things like that tend to have “accidents” at our house so they should really go do his office to live…which is why he meets clients in the conference room.

Planet Orange

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When I was in 5th grade, the Phoenix Suns were it. They had a winning season and were going into the play offs. Ali and I knew all the players and we watched all the games. We had Suns cups, Suns basketball and painted our nails purple and orange. And it wasn’t just us, the whole town was energized by the team – walls were painted with “Go Suns!”. Our catholic school allowed Suns shirts on game days – picture that: a purple, orange or purple and orange shirt with a blue and red plaid skirt. It was awesome. Charles Barkley still holds a special place in my heart to this day.

When we went to see George Strait at US Airways Center (which will always be America West Arena to me, just sayin), I told Peter I wanted to go to a Suns game. I can’t remember the last time I went to one, but it was at least 15 years ago (at least). Which means it’s about time. It happened that two weeks later, Peter’s firm sent out an email asking if anyone would like the firm’s seats for Monday night. PW snatched those tickets up faster than me at the Nordstrom half year going for the last pair of cute size 11 shoes (ok, 12. That urban legend that your feet grow when you have babies is true).

As we expertly snaked through downtown traffic (it helps to have a hubby who drives it every day) we kept looking at our parking pass, sure that we had passed the garage. We couldn’t really be parking AT the arena, could we? We pulled in, certain they were going to turn us away and the parking attendant handed us a piece of paper with a number. Huh? She told us to just pull up the ramp and hand it to the attendant up there. When we did, he instructed us to back up two spots where he then took out a cone from a reserved spot and waved us in. Like whoa. THIS is how I like to attend sporting events!

We proceeded to walk maybe 50 feet to the entrance of the loge level where we were given all you can drink and all you can eat bracelets and then escorted to our seats. Which were at the very front of the loge level, maybe 20 rows back from the court. A.MA.ZING. Not to mention the food was great, a waitress kept a steady flow of drinks AND the other two tickets went to an associate at the firm and his wife who we love.

Oh, and him? Yeah, that’s Tom Chambers. Like 5 feet from us. THAT’S how good these seats were!!

Happy Second Birthday Cousin Zoe!

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Saturday morning after Pancake Breakfast at school, we mosseyed north to McDonald’s Ranch to celebrate Zoe’s second birthday. We talked up the fact that there would be tons of animals to pet and horses to ride – B could hardly contain her excitment and took off running at the first suggestion of walking to the petting zoo.

The weather was perfect – close to 80 and sunny. Christiane packed a deliciously huge lunch for all the guests and we washed it down with some awesome birthday cake!

Baylor, the birthday girl Zoe and her cousin Simano

Not at all concerned that the goat is waaaay to close…

The birthday girl

“HI GUYS!!!”

Ready to ride

This was no pony. And yet being sooo high up was a blast to Ms.B. She waved to everyone like a beauty queen

Pop!

Noni!

Naunny Animals

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This is my conversation with Ms.B this afternoon. It started when I had to go into her room for the fourth time to tell her to GO TO SLEEP:

“Bay-lor. It is TIME TO SLEEP.”

“Ok mommy. I just tucking my nanimals (animals) in.”

“Ok well let’s finish up and I’ll tuck you in and then you have to get some sleep. Why are Minnie and Daisy on the floor?”

“I throw Daisy Duck and Minnie out mine crib because they being naunny (naughty).”

“Oh so it’s their fault you’re still awake?”

“Yes mommy. But now I have Big Num Nums (her big pink rabbit) so I go to sleep.”

It’s Coming…

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Last night when I walked outside, I noticed something was….different. The air was cool, but not chilly. There was a hint of warmth in the breeze. And there was a scent of grass and tree blossoms and it was familiar. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but then it hit me – it’s time for baseball.

I remember the same sensation when I played softball as a tween. It seemed night practices were always cold and then suddenly when we had a game, it was warmer, balmy and comfortable. There was a breeze blowing through the palm trees and there was an energy that seemed to signal the end of winter and the beginnings of spring.

Obviously I’m not playing a lot of softball these days, but it’s still the same feeling. And there is a sense that something is blowing in the breeze, something coming. That something? Is spring training. The happiest season of the year where we will spend many an afternoon playing hookie from work, drinking ice-cold beers in the hot sun and watching our favorite teams from mere feet away. It is, in a word, awesome.

Pitchers and catchers report in 9 days according to mycountdown.org. But all you really need is a walk outside and take a deep breath to know that it’s time.

Scottsdale Stadium

I spent so many nights here as a kiddo watching Firebird’s games with my dad. And now we get to take Bay to see the Giants. Preferably playing the Cubs. And preferably the Cubs are winning.

Citrus Season

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When we did our landscaping, we picked out two orange trees for our front yard. It took almost two seasons for them to really start producing fruit, but now that they are rolling, we’ve got oranges a pleanty! Arizona Sweet Navel and Valencia – I fertilize both within an inch of their lives so that there is lots of large, sweet fruit. This year I had my helper who picked up the oranges as I dropped them out of the tree.

 

 

 

Sadly, I didn’t get a shot of her putting the oranges into her shopping cart to wheel them inside..

 

And if you thought my helper was cute, you should see what Kristin is doing over at One Pretty Place. It’s ridiculous how creative she is!!