Let ’em Go!

Baylor is in that phase where she’s ready to do some things on her own and it’s hard to let her. The pastor at our church has been calling all the kids at mass to the alter to sit and talk about the Gospel each week. So when he called for the kids, I shoved her out of the pew to run up. It turns out, they were instead taking all the kids over to the school to do a more kid focused hommily – something B has never done before. I raced to the back of church ready to escort her back to our seats after I explained where they were going. She looked at me with a confused look, shrugged her shoulders and said “I don’t mind!” and followed the herd. She returned happy, unscathed and I think more educated on the readings of the week.

I know I sound like a helicopter mom and in some ways I’m sure that I am, but it’s not a safe world. There are bad people and bad things and I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I let her walk into an unsafe situation – even unknowingly. The quote about having children means you understand what it’s like to have your heart walk around outside your body has never been truer…I’m taking deep breaths. I’m talking with her about what is appropriate and not appropriate when mommy is not there to help her judge. I’m giving her the skills to be able to go out into the world and be safe…I’m drinking lots of wine just thinking about it.

Dear God…what am I going to do when she’s driving?!

Little Foot

Bay and I like to take a good half hour after Auggie goes to bed and snuggle. We like to watch Gilmore Girls because it makes us think of Mamie and because Baylor has always loved the opening song.

She remarked the other night “look! My legs are almost as long as yours! My feet are almost as long as yours!”. I realized how long her legs really were and how big those feet were getting.

Don’t grow up too fast little lady. I need my snuggle buddy to fit on my lap a bit longer.

feet

Big Girls Don’t Cry

We have been on a mission to turn Bay’s room into a shared room for her and her soon to be brother. It has been quite the process. What should have been just moving some furniture, a new bed and some bedding, has turned into a multiple weekend project.

First, the garage needed to be cleaned out and reorganized to be able to hold the extra desk from the office and other odds and ends. Next the kitchen set and table and chairs from B’s room moved to the office. Finally the changing table and bookshelf had to be emptied and moved around in the bedroom so that the crib could be moved and then the big girl bed assembled.  Then the furniture didn’t fit in the room so there was another rearrangement. Then there was a discrepancy in the color of a few items so there was spray paint involved. Countless trips to Lowes, Home Depot and Target….And trust me, this is the short and sweet version. There were many arguments, coercion of friends to help move furniture, a few tears, a lot of cleaning and the realization that we have far too many hobbies and crap in general.

In the midst of all the chaos, Bay was transitioning to her new bed. Part of the reason this is all going on now was that I wanted her to have lots of time to move into her bed when she was comfortable. It turns out, she not only was ok with sleeping in her new bed, she insisted on it. She loves her new bed. As we were putting the sheets on it, PW began giving me puppy dog sad eyes. When I asked what was wrong, he responded that she’s a big girl who doesn’t need her crib anymore. I laughed a little because he gave me the business when I got upset about deconstructing her room a few weeks ago in preparation of the furniture move. It wasn’t until I reached into the crib to take the sheets off that I realized that the soft pink sheets are never going back on.

We stood outside her door that night looking at her room and fighting off the urge to snuggle her and cry “you’re our BABY!! You can’t grow up yet!!”. We checked on her a few hours later and were happy to see that she was tiny in her giant twin bed – it made my heart happy to see that at least for now, she’s still little.

Here’s a sneak peek of the room – the final results will be up on Scottsdale Moms Blog for Pregnancy Week (5 contributing writers are currently pregnant!) at the end of August.

 

 

Buh Bye….Buuuhh Byyyeee!!!!

A few weeks ago a friend told me that her son got a small staph infection from his pacifier after having a bad cold. I made the mistake of sharing this anecdote with Peter who immediately decided it was time to throw Baylie’s “minkies” out the door.

While I know that at some point she was going to have to give up the pacifier, I just figured it was something we would do when she was, like, 10. So I held him off for about 2 weeks but lost the battle this past weekend. I had to agree that it wasn’t the worst idea to get rid of them – I was just afraid of the aftermath.

Aaaannnddd I was right.

After nap time on Saturday, Peter got a big envelope and wrote “For the Babies” on the outside. Then Bay got to add her personal touch and one by one, add the pacifiers to the envelope. She was happy to pack 7 of them away, but hesitated on the last one. After gentle encouragement from Daddy, she happily added the last one. They sealed it up and put it in the mailbox. All we had to do now was wait for the inevitable meltdown.

That night was rough getting her to sleep, but not the end of the world. She fussed a little during the night, but for the most part, it was not the end of the world. She did cry for several minutes saying “buuhh bbbyyyeeeee!!!! buh byeeee!!!” in the saddest voice I’ve ever heard. It was killing me. The solution to her pain was a mere 5 feet away in the mailbox outside the front door and I couldn’t get it for her. I was dying. But she quickly calmed down with a rock and a kiss and then slept semi well.

The big issue was nap time on Sunday. I knew it was going to be ugly, I just didn’t know how ugly it could be. I again rocked her to sleep and then put her down only to watch her pop back up a second later. We decided to let her cry it out for 10 minutes. At 4 minutes, I was concerned about the sounds that were coming out of B’s little mouth so I went into check on her. Apparently in an act of opposition, Bay had torn off her diaper and proceeded to pee all over her crib. A.MA.ZING. Peter continued to rock her in the bedroom while I stripped down her bed. An additional hour of rocking and she finally went down and stayed down. Sheesh.

Sunday night I was not up for the fight and was this close to giving in and getting the minkies out of the mailbox. Thankfully Peter’s competitiveness outweighed his exhaustion so he took over the downing process. There was the typical fussing and then silence. He exited her room and there was still silence. I was so grateful, but not amazed. Peter has had the ability to calm the kiddo since the second she was born. She was all screams when she was carried to the side of the delivery room to be weighed and measured and it wasn’t until Peter leaned down and whispered to her that she was quiet. When I asked what his secret was for getting her to calm down this time, he said that he simply made her look him in the eye while he told her that she was a big girl and that she could go to sleep without a pacifier. She responded “noooo” and so he repeated himself. She then responded “ok” and laid down in her crib. Done and done. Daddy does it again!

Nap time today was rough. The kid has some amazing lungs. A few minutes of quiet time, 10 minutes of crying followed by 10 minutes of rocking and she was out. This is a significant improvement over yesterday so I’m thinking by Friday, we should be in a good place. I’m pushing the blankie and a stuffed animal of her choice so that she gets attached to one of them. As someone who had her yellow satin blankie until she  was 11 years old and took Foofur the dog with her to college,  I think these are safer options. People might laugh if she has a pacifier. But a stuffed dog is always in style.

Highschool Reunion

Peter and I had our high school reunion a few weeks ago. Truthfully, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. Not for any other reason than it just really didn’t register that we had been out of high school for 10 years. I blame the 4 really good years of college for that….

To my surprise, it turned out to be very fun. It was nice catching up with people and finding out that a few of them (not all of them) grew up and became nice people. It was fun to hear what people were up to and think of how far we’ve all come in the last ten years.

This week, a friend sent me a message on facebook. He said he was flipping through his yearbook after the reunion and was reading what all his friends and classmates had written. I got credit for being quite funny – my entry went something like “I wish we could have been better friends. But you were mean so I blame the fact that we weren’t better friends on you. Have a great summer!”.

Apparently I was a decent comedic, albeit snarky, writer even then.

The Power of No

A very novel thought occurred to me the other day: I could just say “no” when asked to do something. Not “I’m soooo sorry, but I have an appointment and I don’t have a sitter for Baylie but please keep me in mind next time you need help, again so so sorry!!”. But rather just a plain and simple “no, I can’t”.

I think it’s funny that this didn’t occur to me before this point – it’s not a novel idea, but it struck me like one. I think when you’re a kid and a teenager and more importantly a young adult, you’re never allowed to say no. You don’t want to be impolite or incorrect or worse, a bitch, so you always give in and say yes. When I had my first and second jobs and my real career, I never said no. And it was that “go getter” attitude that got me where I wanted to go, but I think also the reason I was so burned out when Baylie was born and what spurred me to decided to resign and stay home.

When I can pay taxes, get an umbrella policy on the home I own and give birth to another human being, I can say no to something if I don’t want to do it, consequences be damned. If the other person doesn’t like my answer, oh well. They will either get over it or they won’t and that’s ok by me.

Don’t panic, I haven’t turned over a new, cynical leaf. But I have realized that sometimes for my own sanity I need to back off and not be the “go to” person for all friends, family and everyone else. Peter is laughing at this post right now thinking that this is A. not true and I never say no to anyone but him B. there’s no way I’m going to start saying no to people because it’s not in my vocabulary and C. that I need to stop writing about him in my posts. And he has a point, it’s my nature to be the fixer in most situations. But I’ve learned that there are limits and saying no is something I need to do more – even if it’s just to doing the dishes.