Dear Home Buyer

Dear Prospective Home Buyer,

Yea! You’re home shopping. Good for you. So fun. Just wanted to point out one thing to you; you know that cute house you just called and asked if you could have a last minute showing? Yeah, there’s a family that lives in that house. I know! Who knew. Well, that family is busy. Like crazy busy. And when they have to show their house, they have to spend an extra hour or so stashing kid stuff and vacuuming dog hair and making it look like they don’t live there despite the fact they do and pretty much losing their minds to make sure the house looks amazingly unlived in.

So, when you schedule that last minute showing the one thing should never, ever do? Is not show up to said house showing. And you should definitely not not call when you know you’re not going to show up. And then when the realtor calls you and says WTF, you should absolutely not not apologize and then reschedule for the weekend. Because when you schedule a last minute showing and then you don’t show and you don’t call you risk pushing the mother of the previously mentioned family over the edge. And when she gets pushed over the edge, she’s going to hunt you down and give you lice. And make you step on Legos. And while those things don’t sound awful, they are. They’re annoyingly awful. Much like cleaning and stashing and straightening and then fleeing a house for NO ONE TO SHOW UP.

Anyway, best of luck on a new house! Keep your eyes peeled for Legos!

Beth

It’s the Little Things

Robert Earl Keen got it right. It is the little things that piss me off.

We were getting to a point in our house where the list of things that didn’t work was greater than the list of things that did work. Ok, not really, but you know what I mean. Every night I had to look at the hole in the wall that I created in a fit of frustration trying to re-install the curtain rod that Auggie had managed to pull completely out of the wall. I got a little over zealous with the drill and anchors….and well the result was not good. Peter finally stopped me and mysteriously fixed it all (I think there was some glue involved judging by the stain on the curtains…). But the holes and white patch remained.

Similarly, the weather stripping around the back door that had once been painted and was now chipping off was equally as taunting. All of the little things were easy enough to fix, if you had an hour or so of uninterrupted time. Which let me tell you how many of those hours I have.

I lamented to my friend Beth M about it and explained what I really needed was an older relative with a lot of time, know how and love for me who would come and putter around and fix stuff for free. She agreed she too needed such relative and we agreed to start looking through our respective family trees for candidates.

During a full there is too much to do and not enough time in the day Jessie Spano level melt down, I made a decision to just call the handy man and get some of this stuff fixed. Thankfully, our handyman has become family friend too – he’s a great guy who is wildly trustworthy and just really good at fixing just about anything (he just doesn’t work for free – so close to the dream!!). I made Rick a list and turned him loose with a box of paint and weather stripping. Two hours later, he was done, the house was cleaned up and he mentioned that he had fixed about 5 other small things (like the fact our front door wouldn’t stay shut unless it was locked) for me too. And his bill didn’t make me want to throw up, so that was a nice bonus. Thankfully he has known us long enough to know that I’m not entirely insane so when I got so excited about the painted wall, he doesn’t immediately call in the men with the giant butterfly nets and padded rooms.

The moral of the story? Life is too short to live with ugly weather stripping and to loose your sanity by trying to do everything yourself to save a dollar. Throw a little money at the the little stuff and enjoy some playtime with the kids.

What To Do…

What am I going to do with 8 silver champagne coupes? Aside from sitting pretty in the hutch, I don’t have a clue…and yet for $20, I couldn’t leave them at the store. They were crying out for a good home. Fancy drink vessels need homes too.

 

Gambling with Appliances

About 6 months ago, our dryer started beeping. Like all the time. Whenever it’s running, it’s beeping. And they dial never turns to the right setting unless you really shove it in – and even then you have to quickly push start with your other hand to get it to a delicate setting that won’t nuke they clothes.

I finally broke down and called Sears appliance repair. The guy on the phone was actually very through and very nice. He explained that they sell a 1 year warranty that will cover all the parts and labor and that includes whatever is currently wrong with it. The cost? $145. The visit itself was $129…so there was a chance that I just needed a new knob that costs $10 and I would get out for $140 bucks total. Oooorr I could buy the warranty and if there was some astronomically expensive part, it would be covered….decisions decisions. I felt like I was at the blackjack table trying to decide if I was going to hit on 12 when the dealer was showing 13.

Not being a gambler – or I should say a good gambler – I did not buy the warranty. And you know what? I was wrong. Dead, stinking, ridiculously wrong. I hit and got a Queen and the dealer got an 8.

Within literally 2 minutes of being in my laundry room, the man had an estimate of $450. Four HUNDRED and fifty dollars. One f word crossed my mind and it was not fifty.

Despite the repair man being very nice, he did look a little smug when he realized I had busted on my bet. So I took my chips and went home – or more accurately said No Gracias and decided I’ll keep my beeping drying until it croaks (hey, it’s made it 6 months!) and put that chunk o change towards a new dryer.

Who knows, maybe Baylor and I will form a band with the dryer as our beat box…

 

 

When a Door Closes

There is an old saying that when a door closes, a window opens. That’s true with life, but not in our house.

You see, we remodeled a late 50’s home a few years ago. And what was hip in the  fifty’s (long, rectangular windows) isn’t really hip today. However, the length of all the windows in our house were the exact width of double doors. So everywhere there was a window, there is now a set of french doors. And even where there wasn’t a window, we threw in a few more doors. The result? We have a 10 to 1 ratio of doors to windows. Yup, we only have one window in our entire house.

Normally this is no problem. Having an exit (or several) from each room is actually very comforting to me – you know, for all those pesky home invasions. But during this time of year, we kick ourselves. The weather is so beautiful and cool at night. But we don’t want to sleep with the doors open so we’re forced to close up the house and turn the air conditioning back on every evening.

When I pass the pretty doors with long skinny windows on either side at Lowes, I sigh and think what could have been. We could just have a little window with some fresh air blowing in, but no! We had to have french doors – not doors with windows. Arg.