Art Walk

November 11, 2013Leave a comment

Scottsdale is great about art displays and art installations. I’m not going to sugar coat it – most of it is a little weird. But some of it is interesting and periodically, it’s downright pretty. But overall, I love living where art is all around us.

I love when they put stuff in the canal. I just think it’s cool. This installation is called “Message in a Boat”. Acording to the sign, at night you can download an app and if you stand in a particular spot, you can control the colors of the boats…

Saran Wrap art…

Auggie was unimpressed

Because Labs can’t run or even walk long distances until their hips develop, Mac gets to catch a ride

All About Auggie

November 4, 2013Leave a comment

I can’t believe the little man is 13 months old. It’s strange how fast and how slow the last year seems to have been. Our little man has gone from a tiny little baby to a size 2T ball of fun. He’s totally self entertained, accidentally funny (hello dropping a Goldfish into the offertory basket at church) and just down right gorgeous.

At one year he:

Clocked in at 32 inches and 28 pounds meaning he’s grown 11 inches and gained 21 pounds in a year

Eight sharp little teeth have popped through

Says mama, dada, Mac (“ack!”), yes (“aaa yeah!”), bottle, up (“uppa!) and water

He loves to fish things out of the garbage can and is getting better about putting things in it

He can climb the jungle gym and go down the slide on his belly all by himself AND give his mother a heart attack all at the same time

He puts his blanket over his head and stumbles around to make his sister giggle

His favorite sippy cup is the pink one because it’s Baylor’s

I have yet to witness a baby who never, ever cries in the pool – until this guy

Those eyes are going to get him into and out of so much trouble

From this guy:

To this tank in just 12 months:

Big Picture, Little Picture

October 30, 20131 Comment

I love weeks when I can see the big picture. I can see life for what it is and find joy in small things and have patience to turn bad behavior into teaching moments. I have the energy to tackle my to do list AND be a good mom. Get down on the floor and play. Get in the kitchen and cook together. Read books and go for walks. Make dinners and clean up the kitchen before 5pm. Get the laundry and ironing done. Clear my desk of bills, work and whatever else is lurking there. These are good weeks.

This is not one of those weeks. This is definitely a little picture week. I can’t see the forest for the trees. All I can hear is a teething baby screaming, a puppy yelping and a smart mouth four year old. All I can see is the mess of toys, dishes and laundry. All I can think about is the pile of invoices that need to be created, put into envelopes, stamped and sealed. All I want to do is look at the beautiful, smart, talented little girl in front of me and say “WHY??? WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY BUTTONS ARE AND WHY DO YOU INSIST ON PUSHING THEM AALLLLL THE TIME?? WHY CAN’T YOU STAY IN BED AT NIGHT?? WHY WHEN YOU STAY IN BED DO YOU SCREAM FOR A PARENT TO COME TO YOUR BEDSIDE EVERY 2 HOURS TO FIX SOME NONEXISTENT PROBLEM??? WHY ARE YOU WAKING UP YOUR BROTHER??”.

Oh yeah, we aren’t sleeping right now. Again. It’s fun. I think B has a bet with Augg on how soon the men with the big butterfly nets are coming for mommy. It won’t be long little lady. It won’t be long.

My mom told me last week that I need to remember that her behavior comes from the fact that she’s bright. Actually, her quote was “It’s because she’s smart. If she were dumb, this would be a lot easier to solve”. And she’s right. Bay is no dummy. She’s capable of great things which is why I get so incredibly frustrated when she flat out refuses to do something. Or worse, pretends that she doesn’t know how (button pusher, party of one…). I’m not asking Hellen Keller to sign supercalifragalisticexpialidotious, I’m asking Einstien to add two plus two. So why can’t she just say FOUR and we could move on?!

I guess because she really wants to see if the men with the nets have white coats….

Joke’s on You

October 25, 2013October 24, 20131 Comment

To the person who keeps stealing packages off of our front patio: when are you going to realize that we don’t order anything fun from Amazon? Just because it’s heavy, doesn’t mean it’s not shampoo. Or diaper rash cream. Or a fan for the dog crate. So get it through your thieving little brain; we’re boring. We order boring things. Our kids are smelly and have diaper rash so we’re going to continue to order boring things. When you see a package on our patio, just keep walking. Unless you have diaper rash. Then you might want to consider snagging it.

Just Us and the Zoo

October 24, 2013October 23, 2013Leave a comment

Columbus day was the perfect excuse to go to the zoo. I decided we would go just us – Baylor, Auggie and me. That way we could go where we wanted, when we wanted AND we would actually get some time to talk. We had the best time – we saw all the animals we wanted, Baylor got to ride the camel (Augg is too little but when she heard she could go by herself? she was gone), we hit the petting zoo, playground, ate chips, rode the carousel and meandered until it was too hot and we were hungry. It was the perfect way to spend a holiday Monday morning.

Ready to roll. Bonus: pushing the flipping 100 pounds of double jogger up and down hills is a great workout

I couldn’t believe that there were no nerves what so ever getting on this guy by herself! We’ve got to get her riding lessons. Horse riding, not camels.

I love the playground at the zoo. It’s made to look like a life sized Little People Farm. It’s just so cute!

These goats make me a little nervous – they are so laid back. I always get worried that when there is one laying down that he’s not breathing… This guy however was great. His name was Mini Muffin. I’m not really sure there’s a better goat name.

There was just a hint of attitude about why we only road the carousel once and not a bajillion times…I’m going to chalk it up to being hot and tired…

Yes, They’re Real

October 23, 2013Leave a comment

Lashes. I’m talking about eye lashes. Mostly because no one every mistook anything else of mine to be fake!

Have you seen the commercial for the new Benefit They’re Real! Mascara? I did, and I got sucked right in. My Loreal mascara didn’t seem to be cutting it any more so I thought I would try something new despite the steep price difference ($7 to $23).

Sephora was almost sold out of it so I’m not the only one who likes Benefit’s marketing. When I opened the tube, I was a little bummed. The brush is super spiky which normally means it’s not going to work well covering my thin, blonde lashes….

But oh was I wrong.

The mascara really does cover incredibly well. It does all that it promises: lengthens, volumizes and separates. I was wildly impressed. But I was still skeptical of how it would wear. The true test? Swim lessons. While I’m not under the water, Auggie does his best to splash me as often as possible. I was shocked – this is not waterproof mascara and yet it wears very similarly!

Side note; it is totally impossible to take a closeup with an Iphone and not look cross eyed. Not to mention the bags and serious lack of concealer…did I mention that this was a full 12 hours after applying, no touch ups and after swim lessons?? No smudges. No flaking and still really big lashes!

The conclusion is that They’re Real! Is totally worth the money! Run to the nearest Benefit Counter and see for yourself – your lashes will thank me.

Birthday Week

October 3, 2013Leave a comment

It is once again birthday week in the Wand house! Peter has climbed another year into his thirties (we won’t say which year, he’s getting sensitive as the number gets higher) and the Auggie boy is one!

Last year, Peter’s birthday looked like this:

Just a big wife and a very cute birthday present on the way!

This year, it was much more festive with a homemade Fun Fetti cake that Baylor decided should be purple with blue icing. And so it was.

“Daddy’s going to need A LOT of candles!”

And this morning, the big guy woke up to singing, new trains and lots of birthday love. It’s hard to believe how fast a year has gone by and how quickly this guy:

Turned into this guy

We are so blessed to have each other, our health, our families, our friends and another year of life filled with happiness. Happy birthday PW – I couldn’t have asked for a better husband, friend and father to our kiddos. And to my squishy, sweet, funny little Auggie – who knew being a mom to a little boy could be so much fun. I love you more every day which always surprises me since I didn’t think I could love you more! So here’s to 100 more birthdays all around!

Dear Parents

September 30, 2013Leave a comment

Dear Parents of School Age Children,

I know for a few parents, this is your first year of your kids being in preschool or kindergarten. I leave out the parents of older kids because they’ve clearly gotten the memo on what I’m about to tell you.

No matter where your kids go to school, public, private or charter, you are going to be asked to make a donation to the school or the classroom. Now, when I say donation, I don’t mean that it’s optional, I mean that it’s tax deductible. If you need a receipt for the $30 that the teachers of your child’s class are asking for so that they can develop film and hand you a beautiful book at the end of the year with pictures of your child through out the year, that’s just dandy. But please, under no circumstances should you think you are going to get the beautiful book without the donation.

Why? Because it is not up to the other parents in the class, the room parents, the teachers nor the school to provide the “extras” for your child. The donations is what makes those adorable and fun extras possible. It should be noted that I am not talking about parents who are in difficult financial positions. In my experience, those with difficulties in cash flow are the first to respond. I’m talking about the rude parents who refuse to donate and go as far as sending nasty emails regarding the donations because they don’t like being required to make a donation and thus leaving the teachers and volunteers to cover the costs.

Listen, if you’re fine with leaving your kid in another classroom for the day while the entire class takes a field trip, that’s fine by me. I would suggest putting the $5 you should have spent on the field trip towards future therapy, but that’s just me.

So as one of the volunteers who “keeps sending you annoying emails” please note that your name will be left off the Christmas, birthday and end of the year gifts to the teachers. Even if that means I have to write out 25 names so that I can leave yours out, I’ll happily do it. Because you are what is wrong with our school system. You are the reason that our teachers are underpaid, under appreciated and most likely why your kid is a jerk.

Also, please don’t be surprised when my response to your emails is in the same nasty tone as your original email. I’m a volunteer, I don’t paid to be nice to assholes. And please expect that I’ll continue to send you those “annoying” emails, notes in your kids cubbie and in the check out folder – I think it’s important that you’re reminded of what a jerk you really are.

Kisses!

Beth

Uh Oh…

September 26, 20131 Comment

As of Monday, the Wands have a new member of the family. Name, details and more ridiculously cute pictures to come.

My sanity is SO overrated.

It’s the Little Things

September 25, 2013Leave a comment

Robert Earl Keen got it right. It is the little things that piss me off.

We were getting to a point in our house where the list of things that didn’t work was greater than the list of things that did work. Ok, not really, but you know what I mean. Every night I had to look at the hole in the wall that I created in a fit of frustration trying to re-install the curtain rod that Auggie had managed to pull completely out of the wall. I got a little over zealous with the drill and anchors….and well the result was not good. Peter finally stopped me and mysteriously fixed it all (I think there was some glue involved judging by the stain on the curtains…). But the holes and white patch remained.

Similarly, the weather stripping around the back door that had once been painted and was now chipping off was equally as taunting. All of the little things were easy enough to fix, if you had an hour or so of uninterrupted time. Which let me tell you how many of those hours I have.

I lamented to my friend Beth M about it and explained what I really needed was an older relative with a lot of time, know how and love for me who would come and putter around and fix stuff for free. She agreed she too needed such relative and we agreed to start looking through our respective family trees for candidates.

During a full there is too much to do and not enough time in the day Jessie Spano level melt down, I made a decision to just call the handy man and get some of this stuff fixed. Thankfully, our handyman has become family friend too – he’s a great guy who is wildly trustworthy and just really good at fixing just about anything (he just doesn’t work for free – so close to the dream!!). I made Rick a list and turned him loose with a box of paint and weather stripping. Two hours later, he was done, the house was cleaned up and he mentioned that he had fixed about 5 other small things (like the fact our front door wouldn’t stay shut unless it was locked) for me too. And his bill didn’t make me want to throw up, so that was a nice bonus. Thankfully he has known us long enough to know that I’m not entirely insane so when I got so excited about the painted wall, he doesn’t immediately call in the men with the giant butterfly nets and padded rooms.

The moral of the story? Life is too short to live with ugly weather stripping and to loose your sanity by trying to do everything yourself to save a dollar. Throw a little money at the the little stuff and enjoy some playtime with the kids.

The Goon Room

A little of everything and nothing, all in one blog

Tag: humor