Tag: humor

Big Helper

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Yesterday morning, Baylor emerged from her bathroom declaring that she had brushed her teeth all by herself. We all got very excited and I made a mental note to rebrush them later…

While passing by her room, I noticed a very strong smell of strawberry…upon further inspection I found that apparently in the “toothpaste on the toothbrush” portion of the morning, she had squirted about a third of the bottle of toothpaste into the sink. And now it was hard and not easily washed off. Crap. I made another mental note to deal with it later.

In the evening, PW and I were making dinner and chatting about schedules when it dawned on me I hadn’t seen or heard the munchkin in a while. My “what are you doing??” yell was answered with “ANYTHING!!” which is translated to I’m not doing anything which is always a lie. Two minutes later she came running into the kitchen announcing that she had cleaned all the toothpaste out of the sink! Awesome, I thought…and then I really thought about her cleaning skills and got a little worried. I asked her to show me her good work…which is where I discovered that apparently in two year old world, cleaning the toothpaste out of the sink means using goldfish crackers to do so.

This time I made a mental note to tell PW that this was a daddy clean up job.

 

Maternity Jorts

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I remember being perplexed about this with Baylor, but my animosity towards the designer of maternity clothes has gotten worse this time around. Why the hell do all maternity clothes have bows, cap sleaves, ruffles or all of the above? Why are maternity shorts either of the baggy no shape variety or denim? Why must I dress like a 5 year old OR a redneck? Why doesn’t J.Crew have a maternity line?!

Oh. And don’t get me started on those assholes at Pea In The Pod. Their very nicely cut white shorts are SIXTY DOLLARS. I don’t spend $60 on any one item (ok, face cream. But really, that’s an investment in my future) why the hell would I spend it on shorts that I will wear for MAYBE 1 year total? Those jerks are trying to take advantage of my need for stretching waistlines and decent fabrics.

I mean I get it. I understand that some women want to cover up their arms or are in need of shapeless shorts to cover their posteriors. I was that lady (I tried on my postpartum shorts last week and they fell off while buttoned – Jen the trainer really had her work cut out for her) and there’s a strong possiblity that I’ll be that chick again. However, I have very strong intentions of keeping my sessions with Jen going, running and keeping my cookie cravings to a manageable amount (1 box is not a serving size). That said, until I balloon so the size of, well a balloon, I would like to look decent until the point where I wrap myself in a bed sheet toga style and call it a day.

See what I mean?

Ugh. The frayed cuff is a nice touch.

If I wanted to dress like Mrs. Dugger, I would grow my hair to my butt and move to Arkansas. Until then, no gracias.

Where to start? The pattern? The sleeves?  Bleh.

I guess where you see a need, it makes sense to fill it. I’m over starting a retail store though so if anyone out there is feeling ambitions, lets talk; I’ll design the clothes and the store, you run it and sell stuff – deal? Until then, I’ll be the lady hunting around Target and then running to the tailor to make me a decent wardrobe for the foreseeable future.

Aunt Beth

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I’ve been a step-aunt for several years now, but last Thursday I became a full fledged aunt when Mr. Mason finally made his entrance into the world! At 7lbs, 19 inches and just a smattering of hair, he really is cute!

And thankfully his mother was able to talk his father out of naming him Vercingetorix. Not kidding. That was on the table. Gary finally relented and said that it would be up to Ali to explain to him some day why his name isn’t as cool as it could have been. Ali was happy to take on that responsibility knowing that Mason would probably endlessly thank her for talking him out of it.

Easter Fun

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We had a great Easter filled with fun and family. Smarty pants B, upon discovering the bunny balloon she had been eyeing for weeks at the grocery announced “the Easter Bunny shop at Safeway too!!”.

A little baffled by the chick that makes cheeping sounds when you hold it

After mass we headed to my mom’s house for brunch. It was amazing as always and included lots of running on the golf course.

Zoe and B sharing some bubbles – well, in theory anyway

Big kids, little kids and the big kids at heart playing catch

After a little spillage in her dress, she changed into one of Noni’s shirts (which she spilled on) and then enjoyed her gardening themed Easter gift from her buddy Joyce.

Mom’s Night Out Giveaway

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I’m so excited to announce that today I am giving away TWO TICKETS to the next Scottsdale Mom’s Blog Mom’s Night Out!!

The event is being held on Thursday, May 10 from 7:00PM to 9:00PM at the Ice Den in North Scottsdale. Each ticket is a $10 value and includes:

:: a glass of wine ::
:: delicious snacks ::
:: raffle entry & chance to win spectacular giveaways ::

If you’ve not been to a Mom’s Night Out event before, you’re in for a treat! Not only is it a great excuse to get out of the house / work early and enjoy a glass of wine with friends, but the giveaways are AMAZING. SMB draws some really fantastic sponsors like Boon, Giggle Boutique, Rodan and Fields and lots more. All you have to do is sit back, enjoy and wait to win!

 Here’s how you enter: comment below on why you need a mom’s night out. Potty training not going well? Work kicking your booty? Family making you bonkers? Tell me all about it! I’ll randomly choose a winner tonight at 10pm and announce the winner on tomorrow’s post. So get writing and good luck!

If you’re interested in purchasing tickets, send me a message and I’ll let you in on the early “friends only” link!!

MISSION Potty Training: COMPLETE

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I am so behind on this post! After almost three weeks, I’m calling it official, B is potty trained.

It all started back during spring break earlier this month when a friend at school said they could do a play date later in the week because they would be potty training in the early part. It dawned on me that spring break would be a great time to try (again) to potty train. Ali (friend not sister although I mix up their emails constantly) suggested that we give the girls an incentive; if they could get the potty training down enough to venture out, then we would have a  Big Girls Wear Undies Tea Party at their house.

It worked like a dream. I think B was finally ready and with some new puppies-wearing-crowns undies, we were ready to roll. Using the “set the timer and every 20 minutes, we pee” strategy, we had success! By Thursday, she was taking care of business mostly by herself and we had only had 1 accident so we were off to the tea party! B got to bring her real china tea set from her friend Joyce, which she was thrilled to share. Ali had apple juice and even a plate of cucumbers, crackers and cheese for the girls to snack on – it was adorable. Estella and her sister Addy greeted us at the door in their favorite princess dresses and were quick to rush B off to pick out one for herself. In addition to tea, they made butterfly wands and princess crowns to accessorize their looks. It was a sweet reward for such hard work!

Working Girl

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One of the appeals of starting to work for the family business two-ish years ago was that I would be able to do it around Baylor’s schedule. And it’s worked great especially since she started preschool. 12 hours a week plus nap times is just the right amount of time to get stuff done.

Last Friday was a rare day when I had to schedule a meeting for an onsite inspection during a non school day. It also meant I had to head South to Arizona City  which would add and 2 hours + to the meeting time for commute. Thankfully Grandma had coordinated a day off of work so it would all work out brilliantly – Bay to Grandma’s house, me to AZC for a meeting with enough time on either end to get some work done around the house.

And then pneumonia.

After much discussion, PW and I figured out that with a lot of tag teaming and Grandma’s help, we could both make it to our meetings and get the munchkin healthy. I would do the x-ray as soon as the place opened at 730 while PW worked and took a meeting over the phone. I would spend the next hour prepping for my meeting and then tag PW to take B to the follow up appointment with the doctor. PW would then tag Grandma to take B home to play, eat and nap. I would return home around 2 to tag Grandma and then B and I would spend the rest of the afternoon watching Mickey Mouse in a daze of sleep deprivation and Albuterol.

It was around 1030 that morning that I realized we were going to make it. It was all going to get done and get done without being too messy. The end result was total exhaustion from the past 2 days and scrambling for the past 5 hours. I’ve always had so much respect for friends who both work AND raise awesome kids, but now that I’ve tried on their shoes, I’ve realized they should really have a super hero cape to match!

Rain Rain Come Again – Soon!

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All last week there was much talk of a big storm that was coming…but much like Jimmy, I never really believe what the weather girl is saying. Especially around here – each time rain is predicted, it keeps getting moved to the next day, and the next day, and the next day until it disappears all together. Baylor spent all day Saturday saying “it’s raining!! Yeah!!! Oh wait, just kidding”. I think the kid has seen more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse than rainy days. Now that I type that, I know it’s a fact.

Well Weather Girl didn’t disappoint this time. The rain came in huge down pours with hail and lots of wind. It was, in a word, awesome. I can’t remember the last time it rained…October? November? Either way it was way over due and thankfully it made up for being gone for so long.

The only down side is we, once again, have a leak in the garage. We get to start the whole story of flat roof + leaves + down pour = water build up under flashing and water on my car that is indoors. Arg. But after getting a little (a lot) ticked off, I became very grateful that it was the garage and there was only minor damage rather than in our house and or with major damage. See? The rain makes me happy AND an optimist!