Hitching a ride on Baylor’s sweet new trike…
Tag: humor
Bird Watching
Technically, I think these two are fish watching. They are sitting on my mom and step dad’s porch in Montana, staring out at the lake. Sometimes they would shout “bird!!” and sometimes “fish!!”. I’m not sure if Baylor was confused as to what she was supposed to be looking at or if she really did see fish jumping. Either way, it’s adorable.
Looking back to get instructions from Noni
Fish? Birds? Or just fun to hold the binoculars?
These Boots Were Made for Walkin’
I think every girl (big and small!) needs a pair of red boots in their wardrobe.
Feathered Accessories
Feather hair extensions, clips, headbands and pins are all the rage these days. Just typing “feathers” int a search on Etsy.com brings up dozens of sites selling feathered accessories.
And because these little beauties are popular, they aren’t cheap. I goofed around online until I found some close up shots of the clips and decided I could copy them. Thankfully for me, my hubby Peter ties flies for fishing. This means there are plethora of feathers in his desk of every length, origin and color.
I tried a prototype that didn’t hold up very well. So I added some ribbon and my new clip survived several outings while on vacation. Here’s a good picture:
Just a hint of feather under my left ear. It’s just enough to be hip, but appropriate for a mom who’s approaching 30! I did make a little clip for Baylor, but she wasn’t a fan. And my mom kept thinking there was something stuck in my hair. I guess some trends aren’t for everyone. But I’m thinking with a few gin and tonics, she’ll be into it. My mom that is, Baylor’s more of a M&M kind of gal.
I Heart Rodeo
One of my favorite parts about our Montana trip every year is the Livingston Roundup. It’s a small town with a big rodeo. Most of the participants do this for a living and win big doing it. But the actual ridding, roping and racing are only part of the fun. It’s the other sides of the rodeo that make it such a hoot.
First, there’s the cocktails. You don’t purchase one beer, two or even three. You purchase by the six-pack. Mostly because they have a system where you have to first buy tokens, then go stand in another line and buy beer. Rodeo goers don’t want to miss any action so you buy all your beer at once. But how do you carry and or keep cold all this beer? Why with ice and a trash bag box:
Yes, much like Costco its self, there are a variety of empty boxes and bags to carry your cocktails back to your seats.
Karin is very excited about all this.
When buying the beer, I asked the nice lady with the beer how many six packs I could purchase at one time. When she looked at me strange, I replied that we were there with a lot of people and was there a limit on how many six packs I could get? Her response? “Just where the hell are you from?? You can buy as many as you can carry darlin’!!”. Aaaand that’s why I love Montana.
Now, if you’re not armatures at rodeo drinking like we were, you do like the locals do:
Pretty purse, yes? And then you open it:
Aaaaand you see how the locals do it.
The best discovery at the rodeo this year was our friend Karin’s love of Rodeo Humor. RH is the banter between the miked up rodeo clown and the announcer between riders. They jaw back and forth and make dumb jokes, all of which Karin practically rolled on the floor she was laughing so hard. Which made it infinitely more funny to the rest of us. We’re not sure if it was really that funny, or if the combination of “beer in a box” and “kids are sleeping soundly with the sitter” giddiness were the real reason it was all so funny. Here’s an example of the fun:
I know it’s a little hard to see, but this is one guy. Yes, the guy in the middle, or the Indian in this version of the Village People, is controlling the other four dummies. Yes, he does have two dummies rigged up to pipes and pullies in front of him and two behind. The result? His YMCA dance is preformed in perfect time by all 5 of them. It was bizarre. It was strange. It was slightly disturbing and it was oh so funny.
The night ends with a gorgeous display of fireworks set to patriotic music that gives you goose bumps. It’s then a scramble and a fight to get back to the car together and in one piece to then wrestle through traffic to the one entrance to the highway. Start to finish, it’s a front runner for one of the best events of our year!
Where’s the Tome? – 2nd Edition
Tome is a big fan of tea. And silly glasses.
Mac Should Pay Me for This Post
I don’t get indorsements from Macintosh. But for the post I’m about to write, I should because damn if I can’t help that I love the Iphone. (Topher, please let someone at Mac know I’m putting out the good vibes!).
I got an Iphone the day they became available on Verizon service and I saw from the beginning what I had been missing. Peter just got his and in one day, the number of apps I have on my phone has quintupled. Slightly annoyed by some of them (no, I don’t need the Orvis fishing app, Zillow, Monster.com, the need to know my exact elevation or Dragon dictation) many of the new apps are amazing.
My absolutely favorite new app is called Sky View. It is a map of the stars – you hold it up to the sky and it shows the names of the stars, constellations and planets. It. Is. Awesome. The funny thing is that I realized it doesn’t work solely with the camera so you can use it during the day too so that you can see where the stars are, the projected path of the sun. I can’t say enough how much fun I find this app. We used it every night on vacation because I think there are few places in the world where you can see as many stars as you can from the top of the mountain in Montana. It was so much fun to know what we were looking at. A side note: whoever came up with the constellations (Gemini, Ursa Major, etc) was either insane or drunk because none of them look like what they are supposed to be!
What do you do when you’re sharing a room with your sleeping kiddo and you have to find your way to the bathroom, or pajamas? You use the flashlight app. I thought this was really dumb until I tried it. So very useful – unless you’re trying to find your phone.
When entertaining a child in a doctor’s office, on a plane or anywhere else that requires them to sit still and be quiet for stretches of time, I’ve found that there are several apps that they love. First are books. The Miss Spider app is a video, a book and games all in one. Duck Duck Moose has really funny apps like Old MacDonald’s Farm , Word Wagon and The Wheels on the Bus. The kiddos need to swipe, tap and move objects around to keep the image moving. They can also record themselves or you singing which is Baylor’s favorite part (the one with her voice, not mine). It does require some supervision though as Bay has A. Friended people on Facebook B. Called random people out of the contact list and C. Sent random text messages. So if you ever get an odd voice mail or strange text, just know Baylor loves ya.
So that’s it. I’m addicted. I hate to admit it, but a smart phone just makes life cooler. Anonymity be damned! Track me and what I’m looking at and where I’m going all you want because I’ll be enjoying looking at the stars.
A Plane, A 2-Year-Old and an Iphone
Last week we set out for vacation in Montana. We visited my family at the guest lodge they run in Emigrant (http://www.hubya.com/).
I had great intentions of blogging beautiful pictures all week. But I pulled a major blonde moment by packing my camera without the battery. Also entertaining a 2-year-old on vacation is a full-time gig. So instead of keeping readers updated, I’ll now attempt to fill you in.
The first part of our trip is a 1.5 hour flight to Salt Lake, then a connection into Bozeman that’s about 55 minutes. Last year we had a direct flight and the kid slept like a rock. This year, not so lucky. She did awesome, really. But traveling with a 2-year-old is not without its fun. We had her favorite cartoons and games on the Iphone, toys and other entertainment (straws are my go to). However, the only way she would play or watch was sitting on my lap. Here’s a picture Peter caught:
The kiddo on my lap, book in one hand, Iphone in the other. Trying to keep her headphones on and the drinks from spilling. This is what it looks like when you look up “mom” in the dictionary.
We arrived in Bozeman with our friends and we headed out for the hour drive to Livingston for the annual 4th of July parade. The Livingston parade is the definition of small town, super hokey and oh so fun way to spend the afternoon. My favorite float? The Costco entry that consists of someone’s truck with a sign that says “Costco” followed by 6 employees pushing grocery carts full of Kirkland brand toilet paper which they throw out to the crowds. A.Ma.Zing.
Bryn and Baylor headed to the parade:
If we had only known that there was an imminent and nasty melt down to be had by both children and adults alike was on the near horizon, I would have taken more pictures. By the time the parade made it down the street, we were packing up and headed on the hour-long drive to the ranch.
Thankfully all the kids and family woke up happy and ready to roll. We spent our first day petting horses, looking for elk and deer, mooing like cows, hiking and riding in Pop’s tractor (Baylor’s favorite). Pop (my step father Jim) brought the same tractor out of the barn a few days later and both Baylor and Bryn got to drive and honk the horn. To say they were thrilled was an understatment.
As soon as I locate pictures from our friend Karin, my step sister Nancy, and Peter’s phone, I will get them up with commentary. Stay tuned for the recap of the 4th of July, the Livingston Rodeo and some amazing landscape shots.
Getting In the Spirit…
It might be 117, but at least our patio looks inviting…
What Should You Do? – Follow Up
A week ago I posted a blog called “What Should You Do?” that was about Baylor being accosted by a three-year old. It describe the little terror’s behavior and also how the parents of the little demon not only didn’t do anything to stop the child, they condoned her behavior. So I asked readers what someone in my position should have done. And as expected, there were some practical responses and a lot of really funny ones.
To start, the incredibly unhelpful response:
Kristin: “I actually can’t believe that you didn’t say anything. You’re getting soft in your old age.” – really, what are friends for if they can’t call you a b*tch on your blog??
Next, the somewhat practical comments:
Christiane: “You should have told them that Baylor has pink eye and they had better have their daughter checked out after breakfast!“. – I would totally use this one. I might switch out pink eye for stomach flu, but the main theme still holds.
Patrick: “For this situation I would recommend looking into two iPhone apps: “Kids Be Gone” and “Teen Torture (aka Teen Hearing Test).” Tell Baylor to plug her ears and let the little brat have it”. -Leave it to the guys to go high-tech. Note to self; teach Baylor “earmuffs”.
Lastly, the totally ridiculous and hilarious:
Kimberly: “You should start rummaging through the parents purses’ to see how they like it….”
Tori: “I’d perform a discrete, under-the-table shin kick to the little brat. That doesn’t sound quite motherly and nurturing does it? Whatever. Bratty times call for bratty measures.”
Charlene: “Hand them a pre-printed card with a fake “manners classes” address and say sweetly, “our daughter used to behave just like that before we took her here.” then smile and walk.”
In short, thank you all for nothing. This was incredibly unhelpful and yet terribly hilarious. I call it a win!
The Goon Room 