Tag: humor

Rainy Day Adventures

1 Comment

This past Saturday we had something we don’t see very often – rain! And the excitement of what will probably be one of the last cold, rainy days for many months gave way to some creative energy.

I heard much commotion coming from Baylie’s room while I was getting dressed. And when I went to investigate, I found this:

Peter and I both have great memories of fort building as kids. Inside, outside, with sheets, beach towels, quilts, whatever was handy. It seems that he hasn’t lost his touch. We spent a good hour playing, eating, reading and crawling in and out of the improvised shelter. Bay then spent another hour doing the same with Bear T. Dog. There were many tears when we had to deconstruct the new play area for nap time, so we left one sheet over her crib. It’s still there and I’m not sure we’re ever going to get it back.

A view from the inside:

Lack of Sleep is Funny Stuff

1 Comment

Peter and I have always each been chatty sleepers (apparently what is true in wakefulness is also true in sleep). We both tend to talk in our sleep and I have a habit of walking. It seems to get worse for both of us the less we sleep and or the more we have going on in our lives.

As a kid,  I repeatedly scared my mom by walking into her bedroom at night chasing foul balls. Playing second base obviously extended beyond the field and into my dreams. I would be chasing a grounder, running the bases or headed back to the dugout. I usually woke up at some point and stumbled, confused, back to bed. Later in life, I have dreams where I need to be somewhere so I go to the closet and get different clothes to put on. This was particularly bad in DC, I would wake up with piles of shirts next to the bed. The worst part is I tend to wake up somewhere in the middle of finding the perfect outfit and suddenly become paranoid that Peter is going to see me in the closet and I’m not going to be able to explain what I’m doing there.

Since having Baylie, my walking has more to do with her whereabouts. Peter just informed me that while he was working on the couch the other night, I came out of the bedroom convinced he had forgotten to put Baylor to sleep and that she was still awake somewhere in the house. A few nights before that, I walked out to the couch, woke up a little, was confused at what I was doing there and made up something along the lines of “I forgot to tell you good night”. Something about getting caught in the act of sleep walking is apparently very embarrassing for me.

In my daily thought process of “how can I get more done in a day?!” it hit me – I need to sleep clean. If I could just pick up a mop or the vacuum on my way to the closet or where ever else I travel in my dream state, I’d have a much more productive sleep schedule…if I could fold the laundry instead of piling it up next to the bed, I’d be in business.

What’s in Baylie’s Bag – 5th Edition

Leave a comment

This week’s bag of choice was Baylie’s new Easter basket / bucket that was  a gift from my friend Chrissy. She spoiled Ms.B this last weekend with a bunny that was so incredibly soft, a blankie equally as soft, bunny ears and an Easter basket. Bay was in love with the goodies and also her new friend.

 

Contents:

Kat’s bathing suit

A silver play cup

The parts to Mr. Potato Head, but no Mr.Potato Head

1 Slice of play bread

Toothpaste

Books: “Time to Sleep Mr.Sheep!” and “Where is Baby’s Bellybutton?”

Barbie – who was formally undressed, but I felt since this isn’t an X-rated blog to clothe her

A wrist rattle made for a baby – Bay thinks it’s a bracelet

Also note the blur of color behind the table – this is Bay closing the blinds. You see now why the neighbor thought she was two kids instead of one.

House Happenings

2 Comments

There’s always something amusing going on at our house. I’ve never really figured out if it’s actually funny, or if we’re so deprived of quality time outside of each other that we just think we’re funny.

Peter and I love to hike. It’s a little more tedious now with the muchkin since one of us has to carry her in the backpack – which totals around 40 pounds, thus making uphill hiking a bit challenging. But Peter has found a great trail with little elevation change which makes for an enjoyable and manageable workout. A few weeks ago we had returned from our outing and I asked Peter (he would say I yelled this at him, but really, he exaggerates) to take off his boots before coming in the house. I am both the energy and cleanliness nazi. When he wants to vacuum and mop (quick Peter! Where do we keep the mop??), he can track in as much dirt as he wants.

About 10 minutes later, I was in the kitchen and noted Peter walking with his boots on, in the back door, across the living room and out the front door. After stepping outside, he proceeded to take off his boots. The following the conversation that ensued:

“Did you just walk across the house with your boots on in order to take them off outside a different door?”

Silence.

“What’s the right answer here?”

Aaaannnd that’s why he’s a good lawyer.

Move Your Phi’t

1 Comment

The basis for the name of my blog is my college sorority and the lovely little room where we convened to chat – the goon room. Alpha Phi (pronounced “fee” – the title of the post makes more sense now, no?) has given me a home away from home, wonderful friendships and amazing memories. And yesterday was no exception.

The ASU chapter of Alpha Phi hosted a charity 5K race raising funds and awareness for the national sorority’s cause, cardiac care. My good friend Kristin (featured in “I Do! I Mean, They Did!”) organized a group of the UofA Fall 2000 pledge class to walk for the cause. We met at the park, strollers loaded for bear and kiddos and were ready to roll. Pun intended.

We managed to maneuver 3 strollers over packed dirt (not ideal for stroller wheels) and while we were the caboose, we completed the walk in under an hour. More importantly, we got to catch up and actually talk to each other since our kiddos were preoccupied with the other runners and each other. It’s always nice when gossiping can be for charity.

The hero of the day was Carrlene who pushed her adorable nearly 2 year old, AJ – while 8 months pregnant! Thank you also to Stephanie for picking up our registration and “phi’t” shirts (check out Stephanie at her blog: http://www.babycross.wordpress.com). We also got to meet Cuatro – or better known as Carter. The newest of the Phi babies at breakfast with his momma, Michelle. Thank you ladies! As always, it’s never a dull moment!

AJ, Carrlene, Stephanie, Kelsey, Kristin, me and Baylor B

What’s in Baylor’s Bag?

Leave a comment

This week’s bag of choice was a Nordstrom bag – momma has taught her girl well. In addition to the contents listed below, my car keys and my flip flops were included. However they were removed prior to the picture being taken because I was so relieved to have found them.

This week’s bag includes:

Let’s Count! Book

Her knit hat Grandma made

Bunny ears

Pegs from the peg play game

UofA Mardi Gras beads

Rubber ducky

A ball

Her Elmo lunchbox

 

Now that I think about it, I should have opened the lunch box. It concerns me a little as to what might be in there…

 

When is it Enough?

3 Comments

About a year ago, I got a parking ticket in the mail. Well, not me, but someone who’s car was apparently registered to our address. We rented out our house prior to remodeling and moving in ourselves, so we do get mail for past tenants once in a while. But we’ve now lived here for almost 4  years so to get a parking ticket for someone other than PW or myself seemed odd.

I put the ticket back in the mailbox with a big note that the person on the ticket did not live at this address. I’m sure the City of Scottsdale was thinking “riiight. A likely story”. But I never got another copy and it all seemed to go away. Until this past January. Yet another parking ticket for the same person showed up at our door.

Because I’m paranoid by nature, I instantly flipped into “someone is trying to steal our identity! Scam us! Rob us!” mode. So I looked up the motor vehicle department’s number for fraud. I talked to a very nice, albeit confused woman and explained my problem. Without giving me too much information, she confirmed that the city had the wrong address for this guy and that his car was actually registered to an address other than mine. Phew. At least now I knew I wasn’t the target of some elaborate and strange scam. When I asked what I should do, she said put it back in the mail and tell the City of Scottsdale on the envelope that the person does not live at my address. And so I did.

Now, almost 3 months later, yet another notice has surfaced. This time it was a letter telling the parking violator that he now has a court date for not paying the ticket. Crap. Apparently the city does not believe me when I say this offender doesn’t live at my address and they also must not have gotten the memo on checking with the DMV once in a while.

So I’m left with the conundrum; what do I do? I’ve already called the DMV, sent multiple notes back to the city regarding the fact they’ve got the wrong address, tried to look the guy up online to give him a call and let him know what’s up – what else is there to do? I decided last night I would call the city today (in all my spare time) and try to find someone to explain my problem to…but now I can’t find the ticket. My lawyering, “don’t get involved” husband claims not to know what happened to it. I suspect foul play, but I can’t prove it. So now I don’t have the ticket number or anything but the guy’s name, which I’m sure the city will not be helpful with.

I don’t know why I care. But I feel terrible to think this person may get a warrant out for their arrest for not showing up at a court date that he had no idea he was supposed to be at.

All I can say is that there better be some sort of amazing karmic energy coming my way for all this trouble for a stranger…

Adult ADD

1 Comment

Sometimes I think I’m loosing my mind. Other times, I’m sure of it. But mostly I think I have too many things on my to do list and my brain can’t focus and or keep track of all the items. I am a big list maker, to the point of insanity, and yet all the lists (work and in general. House and kid. To do today and to do this week and to do this year. Grocery, mall, Lowes, Target. It’s a sickness) and a blinding number of hot pink post it notes are not enough. I get to a room and forget what I came for – or get distracted from the reason I went there in the first place and complete 6 other tasks before getting back to the original.  Here’s an example:

I put Baylie down for her nap and walk past her high chair on the way to the office. I remember that her high chair is scary dirty and in need of a bleach spray down and a hosing off outside. I head to the laundry room to get the spray and I’m immediately distracted by the mop soaking in bleach water (yes, I like bleach) and proceed to rinse it. Then I notice the washer is done so I flip the wash to the dryer and take what’s in the dryer out. I see it’s my reusable grocery bags and set out to return them to my car. On my way back from the garage, I notice my new strawberry plants are looking a little wilted so I stop and water them, the lettuce, roses, petunias and catch a few other plants as our sprinkler system is on the fritz and I have no idea if Angel the yard guy actually fixed it yet. I go back in side to text Angel to see what the verdict is and in the process, notice how dirty Baylor’s high chair is. So I head to the laundry room for some bleach spray….

And thus the vicious cycle continues until either the kid wakes up or I actually get to throw away a few post it notes. Blog? DONE!

Sock Gnomes

1 Comment

Apparently the way to beat a sock gnome is with patience. Much like a two-year old who won’t got to sleep, it turns out the little buggers will give in if you wait them out long enough.

What is a sock gnome? An SG is an invisible, tiny creature that steals socks. Not pairs of sock, but one sock at a time.

After folding copious amounts of laundry, I’m usually left with one or two socks without mates. I leave them in the bottom of the laundry basket as their buddy, who was probably stuck under the hamper, didn’t make into the hamper, was captive in Baylie’s bag or has been stuck in the arm of a shirt, will usually show up in the next load.

It dawned on me a few weeks ago that the number of single socks in the basket were multiplying. To the tune of 8 socks with no mates. I decided I would wait a week and if their twin didn’t show up, they were gonners. When the time came to make good on my proclamation, I couldn’t do it. So there the lonely socks sat…until this week.

As I was pulling yet another load of whites out of the dryer, I noted a sock that I was certain came from the sad sock collection. And then another one fell out – same thing. Sure that I had accidentally washed the mate-less bunch, I dug to the bottom of the basket. Much to my surprise, I found all the singles were still there. THEIR MATES HAD MAGICALLY RETURNED! As I matched the friends up, I noted that the prodigal socks were a little worse for the wear. They were all a little faded and a little stretched. Perhaps the sock gnomes only have one foot and therefore only need one sock? And the like to sit in the sun wearing their sock?

So the moral of the story is this; sock gnomes are annoying, albeit impatient little creeps. Wait them out and your feet will once again be covered in matching footwear.

Reduce, Recycle and Reuse

1 Comment

A few years ago, Peter’s mom and dad gave us two beautiful chimineas straight from Mexico. And literally with in a week, we had broken one of them.

For those not in the know – a chiminea is a little ceramic fireplace for the outdoors.

Well, WE didn’t break it, the umbrella did. If I hadn’t seen what happened with my own eyes, we probably would have never been able to piece the crime scene together. I was on a conference call for work and pacing the house. It was one of those extremely boring calls but one that required me to actually pay attention so pacing kept me from the temptation of Facebook and People.com. As I passed through the living room, I stopped to admire how nice our backyard looked. The plants were green, we had new patio furniture and of course, the chimineas. As I was watching, a small breeze kicked up – and suddenly the umbrella in the new patio table was lifted from its resting place, flipped end over end into the chiminea and landing in the small tree in the corner of the yard. Bam! Just like that, my beautiful utopia was smashed. literally. The chiminea was broken and spilling sand all over the patio, the umbrella broke and arm and more than one delicate branch on the tree was snapped.

Stunned, sad and a little too emotional to trash the broken chiminea, I convinced Peter to help me move it to a spot in the yard where I could turn it into a planter. PW was skeptical and not very supportive, but he can’t say no to my sad face/ nagging so the chiminea found a new home and became a new home for plants.

It dawned on me when I was watering it this week just how pretty the Petunias looked spilling out the front opening and the broken back – and then a little breeze kicked up….Bay and I made sure the umbrellas were all down and then took cover, just in case.