Tag: kids

Mac Should Pay Me for This Post

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I don’t get indorsements from Macintosh. But for the post I’m about to write, I should because damn if I can’t help that I love the Iphone. (Topher, please let someone at Mac know I’m putting out the good vibes!).

I got an Iphone the day they became available on Verizon service and I saw from the beginning what I had been missing. Peter just got his and in one day, the number of apps I have on my phone has quintupled. Slightly annoyed by some of them (no, I don’t need the Orvis fishing app, Zillow, Monster.com, the need to know my exact elevation or Dragon dictation) many of the new apps are amazing.

My absolutely favorite new app is called Sky View. It is a map of the stars – you hold it up to the sky and it shows the names of the stars, constellations and planets. It. Is. Awesome. The funny thing is that I realized it doesn’t work solely with the camera so you can use it during the day too so that you can see where the stars are, the projected path of the sun. I can’t say enough how much fun I find this app. We used it every night on vacation because I think there are few places in the world where you can see as many stars as you can from the top of the mountain in Montana. It was so much fun to know what we were looking at. A side note: whoever came up with the constellations (Gemini, Ursa Major, etc) was either insane or drunk because none of them look like what they are supposed to be!

What do you do when you’re sharing a room with your sleeping kiddo and you have to find your way to the bathroom, or pajamas? You use the flashlight app. I thought this was really dumb until I tried it. So very useful – unless you’re trying to find your phone.

When entertaining a child in a doctor’s office, on a plane or anywhere else that requires them to sit still and be quiet for stretches of time, I’ve found that there are several apps that they love. First are books. The Miss Spider app is a video, a book and games all in one. Duck Duck Moose has really funny apps like Old MacDonald’s Farm , Word Wagon and  The Wheels on the Bus. The kiddos need to swipe, tap and move objects around to keep the image moving. They can also record themselves or you singing which is Baylor’s favorite part (the one with her voice, not mine).  It does require some supervision though as Bay has A. Friended people on Facebook B. Called random people out of the contact list and C. Sent random text messages. So if you ever get an odd voice mail or strange text, just know Baylor loves ya.

So that’s it. I’m addicted. I hate to admit it, but a smart phone just makes life cooler. Anonymity be damned! Track me and what I’m looking at and where I’m going all you want because I’ll be enjoying looking at the stars.

 

 

What Should You Do? – Follow Up

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A week ago I posted a blog called “What Should You Do?” that was about Baylor being accosted by a three-year old. It describe the little terror’s behavior and also how the parents of the little demon not only didn’t do anything to stop the child, they condoned her behavior. So I asked readers what someone in my position should have done. And as expected, there were some practical responses and a lot of really funny ones.

To start, the incredibly unhelpful response:

Kristin: “I actually can’t believe that you didn’t say anything. You’re getting soft in your old age.” – really, what are friends for if they can’t call you a b*tch on your blog??

 

Next, the somewhat practical comments:

Christiane: “You should have told them that Baylor has pink eye and they had better have their daughter checked out after breakfast!“.  – I would totally use this one. I might switch out pink eye for stomach flu, but the main theme still holds.

Patrick: “For this situation I would recommend looking into two iPhone apps: “Kids Be Gone” and “Teen Torture (aka Teen Hearing Test).” Tell Baylor to plug her ears and let the little brat have it”. -Leave it to the guys to go high-tech. Note to self; teach Baylor “earmuffs”.

Lastly, the totally ridiculous and hilarious:

Kimberly: “You should start rummaging through the parents purses’ to see how they like it….”

Tori: “I’d perform a discrete, under-the-table shin kick to the little brat. That doesn’t sound quite motherly and nurturing does it? Whatever. Bratty times call for bratty measures.”

Charlene: “Hand them a pre-printed card with a fake “manners classes” address and say sweetly, “our daughter used to behave just like that before we took her here.” then smile and walk.” 

In short, thank you all for nothing. This was incredibly unhelpful and yet terribly hilarious. I call it a win!

What’s in Baylor’s Bag? – 9th Edition

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Sherri, this one is for you!

Wow, the kiddo was busy this week.

To start, Baylor’s bag of choice was a gift bag from her birthday. It lights up when you push the button and it took me 9 tries to get a picture where you can see the lights.

Contents:

1 sippy cup

1 soft picnic basket with food inside

goggles

her super silly glasses

her new Ariel shoes from Auntie Ali that she LOVES and wears any time she’s in the house

a bean bag

1 ball

Mouse

Sing-a-Ma-Jig

her Cubs hat

a rosary

play sized cooking utensils

play food pizza, bread, doughnut and hot dog

A Spot of Tea

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For the readers who don’t know, my mom and I own and manage a water company in Southern Arizona. Why? It’s a long story…

As we close in on the end of the month, I am scrambling to finish up deposits and customer changes and prep my documents to go read meters. It’s not complicated, but it does require some form of concentration. I.E. it is very difficult to do when my “assistant” is shuffling papers off the printer, climbing up my chair and simultaneously trying to draw on my documents.

I have perfected the art of Baylor entertainment so that I can steal a few minutes to and check items off my to do list. She has her own keyboard which she pretends to type emails, narrating her messages as she creates them. She gets a pad of paper and a pen. A coloring book and also my deposit stamps to play with. However Saturday morning the usual things weren’t keeping her busy. Trying to keep my frustration level to a minimum, I suggested she go brush her doll’s teeth (endlessly fascinating to a 2 year old) and then make some “tea”. We love tea parties and have them often. Bay happily ran off leaving me a few more precious moments to complete my tasks.

A few minutes later, a headband clad kiddo (making tea requires  Bene Hana style head wear) came running into the office with a cup of tea and a saucer for me. She then ran back to her room to get the tea-pot, filled up my cup with air,  shouted “KISS!!”, gave me a peck and was off again.

It’s hard to remember sometimes what’s important. It’s easy to get caught up in the grind of work, the endless to do list, and the stress of getting it all done. But all we need is a little cup of tea to remind us why we work like we do and also why it’s good to shut off the computer and go make some tea.

Where’s the Tome – 1st edition

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In case you missed last week’s post, I will be illustrating the travels of Baylor’s Gnome – or Tome as she calls him. Get excited. He goes to some funny places.

I think I might be having more fun than Baylor with this story line. The kiddo had Tome going for a dip in her pool…I may or may not have suggested he talk to Barbie. And is it me, or is he smiling??

What Should You Do?

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Peter, Baylor, our friend Cameron and myself all met at one of our favorite restaurants, Orange Table for breakfast on Sunday. Peter and Cameron had been out “killing clay” (i.e. at the shooting range) so B and I met them there.

As we were sitting on the over stuffed couches waiting, a little girl about 4 years old and her parents walked in. When the girl saw Bay, she immediately made a beeline for her, ripped the sun glasses off of Baylor’s face and proceeded to rifle through Bay’s bag of books and other entertainment. Baylor’s immediate response was a look at me like “why would she do that?!”. Annoyed, but not wanting to make a scene, I said to the girl “these are Baylor’s toys. You need to ask her if you would like to play with them”. As I finished this statement, I noticed the girl’s parents were watching me say this to their daughter and yet didn’t do anything. Thankfully the hostess showed them to their table.

Just when I thought the coast was clear, the girl came running back over to retrieve a toy she had left. Baylor saw her coming and politely held up the forgotten stuffed animal. Again, the girl ripped the toy out of Baylor’s hand and then made a swipe for Bay’s bracelets (she was well accessorized). This time the father followed the girl and sat down to WATCH her repeatedly grab at, pull on and steal from my daughter. He said hello and introduced himself but never said anything to his kid. At this point I’m getting to incredulous and about to say something like “could you please ask her to stop since she is not listening to me?” when Peter walked in.

PW gave me a strange look which I answered with a “I have no idea who these people are and yes, they are making me crazy too”  face. At the same time, he witnessed the little girl grab a book out of Baylor’s hand and shout “MINE!!” which Peter answered with “NO, no it’s not” and took the book back from the girl. All the time, her dad is sitting on the couch saying nothing, just smiling like an idiot. It was then that I noticed the mother was sitting right behind me, seeing all of this and also doing nothing.

We were finally shown to our table and got to leave the little terror behind. Sadly it didn’t stop her from running to our table at least 3 times to again try to take a toy, a phone or a bite of Baylor’s breakfast. And again, parents were right be hind her saying nothing.

Peter and Cameron were shocked. I was annoyed but this isn’t the first time we’ve encountered ill behaving children whose behavior is ignored by their parents. I hesitate to tell the parent’s how I really feel about these situations because I don’t want to run into these people later and learn that I burned potential clients for Peter or the family’s guest lodge or after I’ve accidentally rear ended them and they decide to call the police instead of just exchanging insurance.

So I am putting this out as a question: what do you do in these situations? How do you handle it when you cannot get away from a kid who is being a demon? Do you say something to the parents? Ignore it? I welcome any and all comments and I will post a follow-up in a few days with some of the responses. Bonus points for the funny, ridiculous and best of all, clever responses.

Where’s the Tome?

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For many years, Mame had a gnome that sat by her front door. It drove my mom nuts and one day she snuck into Mame’s house and left a book called “How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack” with a note inside:

It became a great joke – my mom would always ask when she was getting rid of the gnome and Mame would always threaten to start a collection.

Every time we would visit Mame, Baylor insisted on being the one to notify her that we were there. First we would ring the door bell. Then Bay would knock and shout: “It Baylor!!”. Which comes out more like “Bay-yer!” and the “it” is not a typo. There’s no “s” when she says “it’s”.

After she finished alerting Mame, she would spend the few moments waiting for her to come to the door petting the gnome. Except she calls him “Tome” instead of Gnome. The pats on his little hat were followed by sweet whispers saying “Hi Tome. Good Tome”.

I brought the gnome home to our house this week and put him outside her play house. The kid doesn’t miss a thing and was thrilled that Mame’s gnome had come to live at her house.

The funny thing is a few days later, she started moving the gnome around. He’s been in the wagon, down the slide, in the wadding pool and sitting at the dinning room table. The concept cracks me up so expect to see more posts on where Tome is this week.

Tome’s new home

Tome on the move…

Birthday Wishes

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Today starts my last year as a twenty something. And I’m ok with it since 27 was my scary birthday. Not sure why, but it was.

I had a dream last night that I had a party and Lady Gaga came. But she was dressed normally so no one knew who she was and I introduced her as Stephanie instead of Lady Gaga which she appreciated. It was a great dream while dreaming it and hilarious when I woke up. Can’t ask for better birthday dreams.

Lilies from AJ’s are one of my favorite things. But they are most definitely not in the budget so they are strictly for special occasions. I went straight for the Stargazers and came across Concordia lilies. They are by far the BIGGEST FLOWERS I have every seen! I took this picture for the post:

But realized you can’t really tell the size of the flowers. I couldn’t figure out what to use to acurately show the size until Baylor wanted to smell them:

The kiddo is aproximately 36 inches tall!

The flower is only slightly closer to the camera than she is – these things are huge! and their scent matches their size. They are definitely a new favorite!

 

Weekend Work

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Baylor and I did a lot of yard work this weekend. Her contributions are along the lines of:

1. Don’t pull the plants out that have just been planted

2. Play in a big bucket of water

3. Water the plants. The house. The patio. And herself.

But we did get a lot new color in that will hopefully last at least until it’s 110!

Beautiful Salvia and Portulaca – a favorite!

I love that you never know what color the flowers will be


Finally getting bigger berries – these are aaalllmoosst ready!

Holy Head Butt

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This past Sunday marked yet another week of taking our sweet soon-to-be-two-year old to church. A ritual we’ve done since the week she was born. And until the last few months, has been a relatively simple process. As she enters the second year of her life, she has a new-found fun time at church. Mainly torturing her parents.

Last weekend Baylor was frustrated, hot and bored. In an effort to get my attention and thus relocated to the much more interesting and fun vestibule of the church, she attempted to head butt me. I gave her the mom stare trying to telepathically tell her “knock it off” when she went for a second shot. I’m quite sure that she knew that my usual response to a head butt is a head butt – which I obviously do gently and in a “I’m going to show you that this hurts” teaching kind of way. However, when someone sees you head butt your child, they tend to frown on that. Especially in a place of worship. Therefore my little Einstein knew if she threw her noggin at mine, she was probably A. going to get away with it and B. get to go to the vestibule.  And she was right.

So instead of a demerit system and empty threats, we tried a reward system. If Baylor was quiet, we would quietly thank her for being silent and then give her a yogurt raisin (her favorite). Brilliant? Maybe. But worth a shot none the less. I have to say that it did work, until about a half hour in. The little stinker caught on and then started making noise in order to be shushed and then she knew she got a raisin for being quiet. She’s either going to be president or live in a secluded cabin somewhere running a blog that plots to take over the world.

The one redeeming quality is she’s really stinking cute and I am always sure to dress her equally as adorable. Mostly because I think people are more tolerant of cute kids.