Dear Sandman

Dear Mr. Sandman,

Where theĀ hell have you been?! You decided to take a vacation weeks ago and then just never returned?? What is the matter with you? How do you expect to keep your job when you are so sloppy?? No one in this house has slept more than 4 hours at a time for the last 2 months!! Four hours!! Do you know what it’s like to have to sleep in intervals and never know when you’re going to get to go to sleep and when you’re going to be woken up again?! No! You don’t! Because you’re on vacation!!

Did we do something to offend you? Was it something I said? Something Peter said? What about Auggie? He doesn’t have a big vocabulary but since he’s the center of the problem, I’m wondering if he did something….

Because if he did, just tell me. I’ll make it better. I’ll fix it, I swear. Just tell me. TELL ME. I WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE COME BACK!!

Please?

Pretty please?

Successful What?

A friend once told me that successful people do 5 things before 8am. If my kids are up every 2-3 hours at night requiring water, clothing changes (vomit), bedding changes (you don’t want to know…), rocked back to sleep, patted back to sleep, tucked in – that is way more than 5 things we’re doing before 8am. And the fact that this pattern has been happening the last 5 nights that should make us really successful. The question is what we are successful at. At being sleep deprived? At being crabby? At being zombies? PW and I have yet to determine….

The Wands Need Sleep

Between PW’s late work nights this week (he’s averaging at least two nights a week after mid night) and Bay’s early mornings, we’re all starting to look like the walking dead.

Here’s how it typically works:

730pm: Bay is in her crib but still chatting to her animals

930pm: I decided I really do need to get to bed.

1000pm: No really, I’ve got to get to sleep

1045pm: Sleep timer turns off the TV and I was a goner when my head hit the pillow.

1145pm: PW gets home and announces himself loudly so that I don’t have a heart attack thinking he’s an intruder (we learn from our past around here).

1215pm: PW still goofing around the house which wakes me up and confuses me.

100am: PW finally goes to bed and again, wakes me up.

400am: Bay starts whimpering in her sleep.

405am: More whimpering.

408am: I decided I better go figure out what she needs before PW’s alarm goes off at 5am because then there is a chance she won’t go back to sleep.

415: Clean diaper, socks and a blanket and Bay is back down. I am now awake.

440am: I finally doze off…

500am: Alarm goes off. I tap PW who promptly asks me to snooze the alarm.

510am: PW gets up on his own.

515am: Snoozed alarm goes off again.

545am: PW leaves for work.

600am: Whimpering…

615am: I get my lovely wake up call of “MOMMY!!! AWAKE!!!”

And this is why it takes three coats of various colors of concealer to cover up the deep, dark circles under my eyes…So looking forward to nap time on Saturday when I can catch 2 hours of guilt free sleep time.