Tag: mom

Baby What??

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In anticipation of my sister Ali’s baby shower this past weekend, I tried to find some baby shower game ideas that were a little outside of the box. And by that I mean something that was not annoying like that damn game where you put the clothes pin on your shirt and ever time you say “baby” someone gets to take your clothes pin. The last shower I was at where we played that game, a fellow guest literally started pinching me after she took all my pins. It almost got ugly.

I found the usually stuff like “Guess Mommy’s Tummy Size”…boring, and potentially a loaded game if Mommy is a little larger than she thinks she is. “Baby Item Word Scramble”…yawn. “Finish the Baby Rhyme”…blah blah blah.

As I dug deeper, I found some really messed up baby games. Such as:

“Pin the Sperm on the Egg”. I’m not kidding.

“Dirty Diaper” – I thought this was only in the movies – you melt candy bars into a diaper and make people guess what the candy bar is by smelling it. There are no words for describing the level of nastiness of that one.

“My Water Broke!” – guests are given drinks with ice cubes containing plastic babies. When your ice-cube melts setting the baby free, the guests shouts that their water broke and they win a prize. I actually kind of like this idea because I don’t really have to participate, but it needs a new name.

“Bobbing for Nipples” – again, not a joke. Just like bobbing for apples but you use bottle nipples. Lovely.

We ended up using a variation of a game we played at Ali’s wedding shower – she gets asked a series of questions and then has to eat something when she answers wrong. Pregnancy themed food was pickles and ice cream – ice cream if she was right and pickles if she was wrong.  I only tortured her a little with questions like “how many feet does the average toddler crawl in a day?” and “who is the celebrity whose daughter is named Sadie Grace?”.

All in all, it was a lovely shower and Ali got lots of great gifts – I was running around like a crazy woman so I didn’t get any pictures, but Ali’s sister-in-law did so more to come!

Amen, Sister

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One of my best friends Chrissy sent me an article yesterday – really she tagged me on facebook with the caption “Carry on Warrior” Wisch Wand, you’re going to love this”. And in true friend-who-knows-you-all-to-well form, I did.

The article is pretty much the premise of The Goon Room: sometimes being a parent is just downright gross. And annoying. And exhausting. And not fun. It talks about those annoying people who stop you in the grocery store and tell you to be sure to cherish every moment – and they are usually telling you this on a day when you’ve not had a shower, slept a collective 3 hours, your baby is screaming while simultaneously spitting up on you…again.

The tag line of the article is “Carpe Diem!!!” – or seize the day to you and me. The article is hilarious, truthful and sweet – I love how this momma is able to laugh at the gross stuff, shrug off “failures” and focus on the small wins. This is the kind of mom I strive to be.

I’m also going to start yelling “CARPE DIEM!!” instead of “WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME???”. Mostly because I think thinking about how I want to remember every moment of Baylor being a child – even the annoying ones – will make me chuckle.

Here’s the article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

Legit Carding

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I cruised through Costco yesterday before picking Ms.B up from school to pick up a few warehouse store essentials. At the register, the clerk asked me for my ID – I ran into a classmate from high school and didn’t quite catch the reason they asked me – I assumed it was for my credit card. I then realized he was punching my birth date into the computer…I just got carded?

I chalked it up to the guy being young…but then realized he was probably mid forties – not so young that he thinks everyone is over thirty but not so old that he would assume I was a young whipper snapper. I also realized that for the first time in a long time, my cart did not consist of diapers, wipes or some other baby specific thing. Usually the wine rolling around with the formula is a dead give away that my under age days are long behind me. Not to mention the deep, dark circle under my eyes that are so bad, there’s no way they came from just one night of partying – they are hard core “I don’t sleep because my kid won’t” eyes.

So I seriously was mistaken for being UNDER 21 years of age. Note to self: dry hair each morning, Kate Spade sunglasses were a good investment and buy more of whatever Bobbi Brown is selling because apparently it’s working. Or at least it’s working with the Costco crowd. Either way, I’ll take it.

What To Do…

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What am I going to do with 8 silver champagne coupes? Aside from sitting pretty in the hutch, I don’t have a clue…and yet for $20, I couldn’t leave them at the store. They were crying out for a good home. Fancy drink vessels need homes too.

 

Creative Weeding

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We live on a great street. We have lots of neighbors with kids and we are friends with a good 80% of our street. Like sit on the patio and have a cocktail, come by for dinner, can you watch my kids for an hour, here’s my spare key kind of friends. It’s awesome.

Friday night, Melissa came by with several bottles of wine (if she ever leaves the wine business, there will be tears). We cracked a bottle and sat on the patio while dinner cooked. I told her about our neighbor to the West kids “borrowing”  neighbor to the East’s scooter. In their defense, the scooter was in the front yard. Now, we’re talking all kids involved are 3 years old and younger. Nothing malicious, but there was confusion about where it had gone and why there was a new toy in the garage.

I joked to Melissa that she was safe since she wouldn’t have any toys in her front yard. She thoughtfully sipped her wine before responding: “Do you think if I tied Smarties to the weeds in my grass, they would steal those?”.

I’m pretty sure we woke up the sticky fingered toddlers laughing.

What Type of Mom are You?

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Stephanie just wrote a great post on Many Hats of a Mom about what kind of mom she is. The post has a link to an Oprah quiz where it asks a series of questions to see what kind of mom you are; The Funseeking Mom,  The Alpha Mom, The Helicopter Mom or the Free Range Mom.

After taking the quiz, I’m overwhelmingly The Helicopter Mom. Which, to be honest, sounds way worse than the explanation:

The Helicopter Mom: Helicopter Mom is hovering just out sight, keeping an eye on her kids and yours. She is fully supplied with a first aid kit, a GPS and a complete computer printout of the week’s homework for all her kids. She could teach a master class in calendar-keeping, managing the family schedule like an orchestra conductor. Don’t forget to refuel, Helicopter Mom!

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. A few months ago I was concerned Baylor was in the wrong group for swim lessons because she wasn’t being challenged enough…and then some sane part of my brain reminded me that SHE’S TWO YEARS OLD and I calmed down. Now she’s in a great class so that’s helpful too.

Also, I think it’s important to note that it’s Sunday night while I’m writing this. Dinner is done and the kitchen is clean. Lunches are made and the coffee is ready to hit “go”. Baylor’s registration for the 2012 school year is complete with checks paper clipped to them and is in the bag with the class snack for tomorrow.

Yeah, that test is way off base….really, I would just like a nicer title. Like “really organized mom”. Or “calendar conductor” or something else cool. Help me out!

Happy Closet, Happy Momma

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It’s Scottsdale Mom’s Blog time again! Check out this week’s post about getting your closet gorgeous, Oprah style.

Also, while you’re at SMB, check out registration for the next Mom’s Night Out on January 26th. The cost is $5 and it gets you:

:: a glass of wine ::
:: delicious snacks ::
:: a swag bag ::
:: raffle entry & chance to win spectacular giveaways ::
:: optional viewing of a movie (title TBD) beginning at 8:30PM ::

Seriously?! That’s a ridiculous amount of stuff for 5 bucks! Sign up on the website today!!

 

 

Zyrtec Anonymous

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I have been taking the allergy medicine Zyrtec for literally 8 months. When stuff is blooming or blowing around or just plain growing, I get a dizzy headache from it. And let me tell you what fun it is to take care of a two-year old who thinks being dizzy is super fun…

I am not one for medication so I decided I would try an experiment. If I stopped taking it, would I get a headache? Nope! I felt great! I sound like a schizophrenic who decides they feel so good with their meds, they don’t need them any more…any way that was about 3 days ago. Two days ago I was running with Bay to the park and got a crazy itching attack. My arms and back itched like mad! I figured it was something in the air because it seemed to dissipate when I got home.

Then yesterday, my sister Ali noticed I had drawn blood on my shoulder I had itched it so hard. I was like the crazy crackhead from the Chappell Show.  I don’t remembering itching that bad since right after Baylor was born and I had a reaction to some medication – in the video of her in the hospital, I can be seen the background scratching all over and asking PW to repeatedly scratch my feet since I couldn’t quite get to them.

I honestly thought I somehow developed an allergy to our laundry detergent. I changed shirts, slapped on anti itch cream and tried to ignore the incessant need to scratch…and then gave up and popped a Zyrtec convinced something in the air was bugging me. And predictably, the itching stopped. I decided it was time to Google “Zyrtec itchy arms” and I kid you not, like 20+ forums popped up all with people complaining of Zyrtec itching withdrawal. Apparently the company doesn’t list this as a side effect (convenient) however tons of people agree that after taking the medicine for a long time, it makes you itch like mad while you’re coming down off the stuff.

So apparently instead of detox poncho, I’m going to have to get the oven mitt version so I don’t scar myself…

Probably

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There are a few words whose meaning is a little lost on Bay. One of these words is probably. Much like Joey on Friends could never figure out how to use air quotes, Bay uses probably all the time, but rarely the right way. It makes for some pretty funny conversations.

As I walked into B’s room one morning long before the sun was up, this is the chat we had:

“Morning munchkin – you’re up a little early”

“Hi Mommy. I probably awake.”

“Yeah, I got that one kiddo.”

“I probably can’t sleep any more.”

“Ok ok, I give, let’s get some breakfast.”

“I probably want some eggs, please.”

Such a crack up – even at such an ugly hour!