Sleepless in Scottsdale

As if spring wasn’t already a busy time, we’ve just added a new, huge thing to do our to do list (no, it’s not a baby). More to come…it’s all good news, it’s just now our list seems to be never ending.

Because of this long list, my mind is constantly churning. Especially when it should be sleeping. I add to my list, get worried about worst case scenarios and I can’t turn it off. I took a Benadryl the other night to combat not only the pollen in the air, but to knock myself out. It did the trick, but it gave me crazy dreams. Like whoa, dreams. My subconscious conjured up one of my most hated dreams; the return to school. I dream that I’m back in school, usually high school, but as an adult. However, this time I dreamed I was back in grade school and I couldn’t test out of 4th grade because I suck at long division. I woke up when I was yelling at the teacher “I don’t need to be here! I already did all of this!!”. It’s not a fun feeling.

Years ago I came across a website called Petrix. It basically deciphers the images in your dreams. The animals, the colors, body parts, dates, objects, etc. It give very simple explanations for the items that always give meaning beyond the sometimes scary surface.

Peter said it all has a little too positive spin…but I think that’s the part that makes it better. It give some meaning to the crazy nightmares and helps me get back to sleep. Fluff or not, it works.

See for yourself:

www.Petrix.com/dreams

Big Picture, Little Picture

I love weeks when I can see the big picture. I can see life for what it is and find joy in small things and have patience to turn bad behavior into teaching moments. I have the energy to tackle my to do list AND be a good mom. Get down on the floor and play. Get in the kitchen and cook together. Read books and go for walks. Make dinners and clean up the kitchen before 5pm. Get the laundry and ironing done. Clear my desk of bills, work and whatever else is lurking there. These are good weeks.

This is not one of those weeks. This is definitely a little picture week. I can’t see the forest for the trees.  All I can hear is a teething baby screaming, a puppy yelping and a smart mouth four year old. All I can see is the mess of toys, dishes and laundry. All I can think about is the pile of invoices that need to be created, put into envelopes, stamped and sealed.  All I want to do is look at the beautiful, smart, talented little girl in front of me and say “WHY??? WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY BUTTONS ARE AND WHY DO YOU INSIST ON PUSHING THEM AALLLLL THE TIME?? WHY CAN’T YOU STAY IN BED AT NIGHT?? WHY WHEN YOU STAY IN BED DO YOU SCREAM FOR A PARENT TO COME TO YOUR BEDSIDE EVERY 2 HOURS TO FIX SOME NONEXISTENT PROBLEM??? WHY ARE YOU WAKING UP YOUR BROTHER??”.

Oh yeah, we aren’t sleeping right now. Again. It’s fun. I think B has a bet with Augg on how soon the men with the big butterfly nets are coming for mommy. It won’t be long little lady. It won’t be long.

My mom told me last week that I need to remember that her behavior comes from the fact that she’s bright. Actually, her quote was “It’s because she’s smart. If she were dumb, this would be a lot easier to solve”. And she’s right. Bay is no dummy. She’s capable of great things which is why I get so incredibly frustrated when she flat out refuses to do something. Or worse, pretends that she doesn’t know how (button pusher, party of one…). I’m not asking Hellen Keller to sign supercalifragalisticexpialidotious, I’m asking Einstien to add two plus two. So why can’t she just say FOUR and we could move on?!

I guess because she really wants to see if the men with the nets have white coats….