7 Things I am Ungrateful For

Things that I find extremely annoying:

7. Ratty haired children. Buy some freaking “No More Tears” conditioner, spray or whatever and brush the freaking kids hair.

6. Slow drivers who then speed up to make it through a yellow light leaving you at the red.

5. People who work out with their hair down. I understand if people don’t adhere to my strict “no hair loose even if it means I look like a beast” policy, but really, all your hair down and in your face??

4. Crazy drivers/parkers in the church parking lot. Everyone’s Catholic, until there’s only one “good” spot left.

3. Those stupid stickers people have on their cars with the three letter abbreviations on them.  Worse, the ones that are for a destination no one cares about. Example: HUD for Hudson, Ohio.

2. When a Lady Gaga song gets stuck in your head and you can hear it in your sleep. I had to finally give in and just start liking her to make it stop.

1. The lady at the CHILDREN’S park who lets her ugly little dog drink out of the human drinking fountain rather than the dog one (yes, there really is a little doggy drinking fountain). No no, ma’am, I love dog slobber and germs all over the drinking fountain. I don’t get enough of that at home so please, by all means.

My Solemn Vow

I have decided here and now that no matter how many kids we have, no matter how tired I am and no matter how much they hate to have their hair brushed, my children will never look like they have a rat nest for hair.

We always see the same family at church and even when their kids are split up by age into their religious class groups in the front, you can spot them. They all have crazy hair. And I don’t mean like it’s a little messy in the back. I mean the girls have creases from various pony and pig tail combinations coupled with a severe case of bed head and atrocious lack of conditioner. I want to bathe them all, slather their heads in Pantene and comb their locks into neat little pig tails with ribbons.

On a side note, I tried to play “beauty shop” with Baylie this week. She has neither the hair nor the patience to do so.