Highschool Reunion

Peter and I had our high school reunion a few weeks ago. Truthfully, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. Not for any other reason than it just really didn’t register that we had been out of high school for 10 years. I blame the 4 really good years of college for that….

To my surprise, it turned out to be very fun. It was nice catching up with people and finding out that a few of them (not all of them) grew up and became nice people. It was fun to hear what people were up to and think of how far we’ve all come in the last ten years.

This week, a friend sent me a message on facebook. He said he was flipping through his yearbook after the reunion and was reading what all his friends and classmates had written. I got credit for being quite funny – my entry went something like “I wish we could have been better friends. But you were mean so I blame the fact that we weren’t better friends on you. Have a great summer!”.

Apparently I was a decent comedic, albeit snarky, writer even then.

A Work Pile of Crap

I have a pile of things that need to be ordered or found and then ordered online. I am avoiding the pile because none of it is fun stuff. There’s no “order something new and cute from your favorite store!” in my pile. It’s all stuff that needs to get done but is so mundane, it depresses me to do it  so here I sit writing about it rather than working through it. Here’s what’s in my list:

1. Order ink cartridges. $50 and no fun. I went to the HP site to get a coupon and found I had to take a survey to do so. Fine fine. But then it said it would take a few days before they would email me the coupon. Nice. Move to the bottom of the pile.

2. Order vacuum bags. Yuck. Mostly because it makes me think that it’s been awhile since I’ve changed the vacuum bag and it’s gross to do. Peter is thinking “whoa, there are BAGS that have to get changed?!”.

3. Dig out the folder from the remodel. Riffle through it to find a receipt that may or may not exist for the cabinetry. Then begin the long task of contacting the company that makes the cabinets and convince them that they want to fix our pull out trash can for free so I don’t have to order one of the oh-so-expensive generic replacement sliding cans at $250 a pop. I need to get my mean face on for this one and it’s been used up a lot lately on the kid.

4. Order Baylie vitamins. Not a big deal, but I get them from Diapers.com and I always get sucked into buying something else which is actually very fun, however, not fun for the bank account.

5. Pay our APS bill. Hopefully having a nice cool house will make Baylie smart so she can get a scholarship to college because all her 529 money is going to pay the electricity bill.

And so the pile grows…

Kids V. No Kids

When you don’t have kids and have a lazy Sunday morning, you get up around 10am. When you do have a kid, you get up at 6:30, have pancakes, water plants, play in the play house, read books, put stickers on the dogs, have a snack, get soaked by the house, change, have a glass of milk and then go back to sleep at 10am.

The Power of No

A very novel thought occurred to me the other day: I could just say “no” when asked to do something. Not “I’m soooo sorry, but I have an appointment and I don’t have a sitter for Baylie but please keep me in mind next time you need help, again so so sorry!!”. But rather just a plain and simple “no, I can’t”.

I think it’s funny that this didn’t occur to me before this point – it’s not a novel idea, but it struck me like one. I think when you’re a kid and a teenager and more importantly a young adult, you’re never allowed to say no. You don’t want to be impolite or incorrect or worse, a bitch, so you always give in and say yes. When I had my first and second jobs and my real career, I never said no. And it was that “go getter” attitude that got me where I wanted to go, but I think also the reason I was so burned out when Baylie was born and what spurred me to decided to resign and stay home.

When I can pay taxes, get an umbrella policy on the home I own and give birth to another human being, I can say no to something if I don’t want to do it, consequences be damned. If the other person doesn’t like my answer, oh well. They will either get over it or they won’t and that’s ok by me.

Don’t panic, I haven’t turned over a new, cynical leaf. But I have realized that sometimes for my own sanity I need to back off and not be the “go to” person for all friends, family and everyone else. Peter is laughing at this post right now thinking that this is A. not true and I never say no to anyone but him B. there’s no way I’m going to start saying no to people because it’s not in my vocabulary and C. that I need to stop writing about him in my posts. And he has a point, it’s my nature to be the fixer in most situations. But I’ve learned that there are limits and saying no is something I need to do more – even if it’s just to doing the dishes.