Tag: children

Grocery Store Fun

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I would say that 80% of the time, Baylor is an angel. She is polite, sweet and just an all around good kiddo. But the other 20% of the time she’s a beast. And worse, that 20% behavior is unpredictable. I never know when it’s going to hit and how bad it’s going to be. That said, I’ve learned to take “crazy baby” time in stride and not get too worked up about it. But I can’t say the same for those around us – and that makes me crazy! Like it’s going to help me that you are gasping at her behavior?! Here’s what I mean:

We hit the grocery store late yesterday. It was probably too late in the day to be going since we were up against dinner time, but I needed a few things desperately so we went. All was going well; Bay was happily driving the Car Cart and I had only hit one display with the damn thing. We were chugging through the store and had only one aisle left to hit. Then Bay announced she needed to go to the bathroom and since we’re potty training, we abandoned the cart and dashed to the bathroom despite the fact she was wearing a pull up. Once in the bathroom, she decided she didn’t really have to go. And I realized she was missing a shoe. So now I’m getting frustrated that we’re standing the only slightly clean grocery store bathroom nearly barefoot and for no good reason. I washed her hands and we went back to the cart.

That’s when it all seemed to fall apart. B suddenly decided she didn’t want to ride in the car cart. I refused to stop and told her to please sit down because we were almost done. Instead of being deterred by the moving cart, she tucked and rolled out the side. It was quite graceful actually. But I was not in the mood. She insisted on pushing the cart and when I said no, she got LOUD. I tried to regroup; I got down on her level. I asked her, calmly, to please not shout and to please sit down so we could get home. She answered me by saying “SHOUT!!” as loud as she could. Again, trying to stay calm I said screw it to the discipline and let her push the cart – we just needed some milk and then we would be home free! If only…

We got to the check out line and as I was putting the groceries on the belt, the cashier from the other lane stepped back to say hello to Bay. Bay then proceeded to bury her head in my leg in an act of shyness and then BIT ME. HARD. ON THE THIGH/BUTT. Not only did it hurt, but it surprised me so I yelped and then said “DO NOT BITE ME!!!”. That’s when the cashier gasped, loudly, and then exchanged a look with the lady in line in front of me.

So now not only am I in a bit of pain (I have the bruise to prove it), I am annoyed that my kid has just quite literally become a pain in my ass and now I’m embarrassed because the checker has just judged me for my somewhat out of control two year old. I got on Baylor’s level, said “Get back in the cart and sit still” in the low, mom “I mean business” voice that is similar to a dog’s growl and then tried to calm down while I finished unloading groceries. It was then that I got mad – who was this lady to cop a holier than thou attitude about how my kid is behaving? I can’t control everything she does and while she was not being good, she wasn’t tearing up the store or screaming or biting other people so really, I’m doing ok as a parent!!

As I swiped my card, the cashier joked (badly) “Does she bite often??”. I responded “Only when the cashier takes too long”.

While that’s not the best line I’ve ever had, it did wipe the smarmy smile off her face. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

Wall ‘O Baylor

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I love this. I hang each hand painted animal she brings home from school on the office door. She loves seeing her handy work and it makes me smile each time I walk by. 

Baylor-isms

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The munchkin has had another big language burst since starting preschool. I am constantly marveling at what she says and how much it changes and grows every day. She is constantly learning new words and putting together long sentences – it’s amazing to be able to communicate with her at this level!

Even though she’s learning so much, she doesn’t always have quite the right pronunciation. Which has made for a long list of hilarious “Baylor-isms”. Some of my favorites:

“Peter Butter Cups” – Yes, she’s talking about Reese’s Peanut butter Cups! She has learned that daddy’s name is Peter and apparently she also thinks he makes the awesome stuff that goes inside those addictive little cups.

“Shib” – Not the thing that prisoners stab each other with – rather this is her crib. It’s a word I hear often as there is usually an animal stuck her shib.

“Seeecreeetts” – this one she actually says correctly, but she doesn’t really get it. She will tell me she has a secret and then whisper the word “seeecreeettss” in my ear.

“Mine birthday is June 2nd” – I just love this one. She got in the car one day and I could literally see her working on forming the words before she finally announced her birth date perfectly! The look of pride on her face was priceless.

“Mustang Salad” – My mom’s first car, a 67 Mustang convertible, lives with us. She’s beautiful and we call her Cecilia. Every day we walk between the Mustang and our car in the garage and I usually sing the Wilson Pickett song Mustang Sally to Baylor. About a month ago and out of the blue, she started singing the song. Except when she says Sally, it comes out Salad.

“All the time” – it comes out, more like “All da time”. This is her catch phrase – almost everything is done all da time.  I will ask “Did you go to the playground today?” and the response will be “Yes mommy, all da time!”.

“Bethers” – Again, this one she says perfectly. Bethers is a nickname from college that Peter usually uses when he’s looking for me. So it’s always shouted across the house. One night while PW was giving Baylor her bath, she shouted “BETHERS!! ALL DONE!!” which meant she was ready for me to come put on her jammies.

I can’t wait to see what’s coming next. Although I did say that a car driving by us today was “ghetto” and she promptly pointed at the car and repeated “ghetto” perfectly. I’m sure there will be a note coming home from school soon noting that ghetto is not an appropriate word to use at school…unless of course something actually was ghetto.

 

Where’s the Tome? – 6th Edition

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Sadly, this post does not have a picture. When you read the story, you’ll understand why.

This week Tome was in the water table, the bench outside, the bench inside and lastly Baylor’s crib. And not just in her crib, but sleeping on his own pillow with his own blanket next to her. As I was tucking her in for the fourth time, she reached over and grabbed Tome to snuggle – only to remark “oh my Tome” when his pointy hat caught her in the cheek. But being her parent’s daughter, she wasn’t willing to admit she was wrong in putting Tome in her bed so she tucked him and fell asleep.

There was a perfect picture opportunity of an angelic Baylor sleeping peacefully with smiling Tome under her arm. But I’m not insane (yet) so I didn’t risk the flash or click of the camera waking her up so for this edition…so just use your imagination this week!

The Grinch Who Stole Night Night

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For months now, Baylor has required various stuffed animals, books and other talisman in order to fall asleep. Sometimes she’s literally sleeping on top of them so that all of them, and her, can be tucked in. Because of this, I usually sneak in her room about an hour after she goes to sleep to pluck out several items and move others to the foot of the crib (I can buy myself 15  more minutes of sleep in the mornings if she has a book and an animal).

I have perfected the art of lightly plucking the toys, blankets, pillows, books, tea cups, wooden angels, etc from under her or around her so that I don’t wake her up. I always think I must look like the Grinch nabbing Cindy Loo Who’s candy cane and sugar plumbs – quickly and nimbly sliding each item away from Baylor.

The other night she was dead asleep. I was pulling out the usual items when, without opening her eyes, she snatched back her Spot the Dog  book and said “no. My book” and clutched it to her chest. I realized that maybe I wasn’t as stealthy as I thought….or the kiddo has inherited both sleep talking and sleep walking (or grabbing in her case) from her parents!

What I Learned on Vacation

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We spent the holiday weekend in Coronado, CA. We’ve take a trip there, long or short, every year since I can remember. It’s our happy place and it’s so much fun to get to share it with Baylor.

We met my mom, sister Ali and her husband Gary (or Jerry as he was known for most of the trip) and my step sister Nancy and her kiddos Blaise and Madi. It was a big group with high expectations for doing as little as possible. Which we did quite well.

Our first day on the beach, we pulled our wagon full of toys, boards, towels and snacks to the perfect piece of sandy paradise. We ran out into the water, caught a few waves, threw the football and then settled in for some gossip magazine reading. I kept waiting for B to run over to me and demand a new activity, snack or some other form of entertainment, but it never came. I watched her and Madi contently dig in the sand. They dug, poured, washed, filled and held the sand. All while silently enjoying each other’s company.

It occurred to me that not only does Bay really love Madi, but the reason she was so content to just play was because it was just play. No one was asking her what color the shovel was. Or how many buckets had sand in them or if the water was hot or cold. There was no overt learning going on, it was just quiet play. I realized that had I been sitting there, I would have been making it a teaching moment – and not that that is a bad thing, but sometimes we just need to sit and dig.

So the next day we did just that. No talking. No fuss, just patted sand castles into place and washed them away with a watering can. All while just enjoying the sound of the waves.  Lesson learned: less talk and more play.


Scottsdale Moms Blog

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Today I am so excited to share with all of you an article I wrote for Scottsdale Moms Blog!

I met Joy (a co-creator of the site) a few weeks ago and noticed her email address was @scottsdalemomsblog. I asked her what the site was and if they took contributing writers. Several conversations, ideas and weeks later, my first article on nursery decorating is up! I’m hoping to write more kid related Do It Yourself articles for them too. Don’t worry, you can get your fill of snarky mommy stories in The Goon Room like always – this will just be for my creative, less sarcastic side!

If you are a local mom, be sure to subscribe to Scottsdale Moms Blog and also like them on FaceBook. They have amazing playdates, great giveaways and insightful articles, all new and fresh every day. Enjoy!

www.scottsdalemomsblog.com

It’s a Good Thing You’re Cute, Kid

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Maybe it’s the heat. Maybe she’s got a molar coming in. Maybe her new-found independence from preschool is being demonstrated at home. Maybe she’s just two but the munchkin is making me crazy this week!

This is an actual conversation that happened this week in the car:

“Baylor. Shoes. Off.”

“No, please leave your shoes on.”

“Shoes. Off. Now.”

“B, we’re almost to the store. Please leave your shoes on.”

minor meltdown and then reluctantly the shoes go back on.

“Yea!! Good listening!!”

“Shoes. Off. Again. Mommy.”

dirty look from the front seat…..

“Yea Baylor!!! I did it! Shoes! On!”

“I think you’re missing the point kid…”

 

That is a nice version of the battles and lessons of the week! If I say yes, she says no. If I say do it, she says no. If I say no, she says yes.  If she gets rewarded for listening well, then she does the bad behavior all over to get the reward. I either need her to move on to the next phase or for it to cool down so she can go out and, as my mom would say, blow the stink off….

What’s in Baylor’s Bag – Crib Edition

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On Monday night, I was at a meeting for the water company during Baylor’s bed time. I snuck in her room when I got home to give her a kiss and pull a few of her stuffed animals out of her crib. What I found was this:

Not just your average crib fair. Here’s what she was snoozing with:

Cat

Minnie Mouse

Franchesca the doll

Baby

Baby’s bottle

A moose

5 books

A plumb

A banana

3 tea cups and saucers

2 angels

A pillow

And the flowers that are on the table next to crib that she can grab and pull in

How Not to Use the Potty

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Good God I hate potty training. A lot has to do with trying to convince Baylor that this in inappropriate:

She gets it. She totally gets what she’s supposed to do. The problem is that she wants to sit on the potty ALL THE TIME. It’s a constant routine of sit, wipe, wash and then re-diaper and dress. I’m talking like 6 times an hour. It is making me craaaazzzyyy!!!! I vote for diapers and let her college roommate show her the ropes.