The Elf Diaries

December 5, 2013December 4, 2013Leave a comment

Sort of by accident, the life of our Elf on the Shelf, M&M, has gotten way more exciting. One night after moving M&M for the night, Baylor got up (big shock) and spotted her. So after we were sure she was really asleep, Peter set up M&M in front of the last of our Sprinkles Cupcakes. For added measure, he took a bite…

The look of shock and complete delight on Baylor’s face was priceless. I realized we’ve entered the phase where she 100% gets Christmas and everything is real and amazing. It was so fun to see her so excited!

Which means we had to keep it rolling…so last night M&M got into the Advent House and raided it for Hershey Kisses. B was equally shocked, but not nearly as delighted. These are HER Hershey Kisses and sharing them is not high on her list. After explaining that we had plenty to go around, she got a little more excited.

Googleing “Funny Elf on the Shelf ideas” brings up some hilarious and hilariously inappropriate ideas. Check out these on Pinterest.

Let’s TACO ‘Bout It

November 27, 2013Leave a comment

When I first watched this my thought was I have things I need to be doing and this is not one of them. Later that night after some wine, I was reminded about this and could. not. stop. laughing. I showed PW and he too found it wildly amusing (after a few cocktails, of course). It’s a slow burn so give it a minute. And a cocktail.

NO! I’m NACHO friend!! I’m giggling as I type.

Jammie Jam

November 25, 2013Leave a comment

I tried to explain that if he would stop burning through clean jammies, I wouldn’t have to resort to putting him in his sister’s. His response was “I’M SORRY. I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THESE LOUD, STRIPPED, GIRL JAMMIES!”. There was an incident later in the morning that resulted in me falling into the door jam while trying to evade his leg grab…I don’t think it was unrelated.

Christmas Card Fun

November 18, 20132 Comments

Baylor brought me a catalog in October and pointed to a picture of an American Girl Doll wearing personalized Christmas jammies. She told me all about how we could all get jammies with our names on them and wear them at Christmas. The thought of Peter in personalized jammies was pretty amusing…but it did give me a good idea to get them for the kids and do our Christmas card picture in them. It would be great – two kids in cute pj’s and their adorable puppy. I would throw them all in the bed, get a picture of them being cute together and bam! I’d be done.

And it totally worked…the third time I tried. I mean like the the third time I dressed them both in their jammies, the dog was behaving and the lighting was right, it totally worked!

If Minted.com didn’t charge to put a picture on the back of the cards (when ordering 85 Christmas cards, that extra picture adds up!), I would have included one of these gems. So if you do reiceve a card from us this year, just know that out of the 40+ pictures I took, most of them looked like this. There were really only 2 pictures we could choose from for the card.

“Auggie. Auggie!! Auggie, put down the rock and look. Look over here!!!”

Baylor’s signature choke hold

“Don’t worry mommy, I’ll make them behave”

“What do you mean Shirley can’t be in this picture?”

C.I.D.

November 16, 2013Leave a comment

I have been carded three times in the last month. Which is a lot considering I can’t remember the last time I was carded…oh no, I do. I was super pregnant with Auggie and was buying wine for OTHER people to drink at a party. Takes all the fun out of being carded when you don’t get to consume what you’re purchasing.

But I digress…

The first person to card me was a woman in her 50s which I decided was not a testament to my new eye cream because she probably thinks anyone under 40 is 21. The second person was a kid and he thought he was annoying me by asking for my ID. Little did he know how much the ladies over thirty like when you think they don’t actually look over thirty. The third person was my age which I decided meant that those five consecutive hours of sleep I had the night before really did make me look better! But as I left the store, a thought occurred to me; perhaps I looked not only like I could use a cocktail, but also like I could really use a compliment.

But I’m going to pretend my new eye cream is really working.

Oh Heeeyyy Halloween

November 12, 2013Leave a comment

Listen, better late than never….

I don’t want to brag…but we ROCKED Trunk or Treat this year! Thanks to the D family for their refrigerator box, their awesome painting skills and creativity, we made two super cool haunted houses. Bonus? They are stored safely away for next year!

The princesses and a cheerleader

The black lights really put it over the top! Where’s the fire ma’am?

We also Fall Fesitivaled and had actual Halloween – I was all too happy to pack up the decorations on November first. But having a holiday hangover is the sign that you did a good job, right??

Auggie’s look of confusion is priceless.

Someone did not appreciate their butterfly costume

B and I thought we were sooo cleaver making a crying baby pumpkin for Augg

The beauty of cardboard haunted houses – they’re portable!

Art Walk

November 11, 2013Leave a comment

Scottsdale is great about art displays and art installations. I’m not going to sugar coat it – most of it is a little weird. But some of it is interesting and periodically, it’s downright pretty. But overall, I love living where art is all around us.

I love when they put stuff in the canal. I just think it’s cool. This installation is called “Message in a Boat”. Acording to the sign, at night you can download an app and if you stand in a particular spot, you can control the colors of the boats…

Saran Wrap art…

Auggie was unimpressed

Because Labs can’t run or even walk long distances until their hips develop, Mac gets to catch a ride

All About Auggie

November 4, 2013Leave a comment

I can’t believe the little man is 13 months old. It’s strange how fast and how slow the last year seems to have been. Our little man has gone from a tiny little baby to a size 2T ball of fun. He’s totally self entertained, accidentally funny (hello dropping a Goldfish into the offertory basket at church) and just down right gorgeous.

At one year he:

Clocked in at 32 inches and 28 pounds meaning he’s grown 11 inches and gained 21 pounds in a year

Eight sharp little teeth have popped through

Says mama, dada, Mac (“ack!”), yes (“aaa yeah!”), bottle, up (“uppa!) and water

He loves to fish things out of the garbage can and is getting better about putting things in it

He can climb the jungle gym and go down the slide on his belly all by himself AND give his mother a heart attack all at the same time

He puts his blanket over his head and stumbles around to make his sister giggle

His favorite sippy cup is the pink one because it’s Baylor’s

I have yet to witness a baby who never, ever cries in the pool – until this guy

Those eyes are going to get him into and out of so much trouble

From this guy:

To this tank in just 12 months:

Big Picture, Little Picture

October 30, 20131 Comment

I love weeks when I can see the big picture. I can see life for what it is and find joy in small things and have patience to turn bad behavior into teaching moments. I have the energy to tackle my to do list AND be a good mom. Get down on the floor and play. Get in the kitchen and cook together. Read books and go for walks. Make dinners and clean up the kitchen before 5pm. Get the laundry and ironing done. Clear my desk of bills, work and whatever else is lurking there. These are good weeks.

This is not one of those weeks. This is definitely a little picture week. I can’t see the forest for the trees. All I can hear is a teething baby screaming, a puppy yelping and a smart mouth four year old. All I can see is the mess of toys, dishes and laundry. All I can think about is the pile of invoices that need to be created, put into envelopes, stamped and sealed. All I want to do is look at the beautiful, smart, talented little girl in front of me and say “WHY??? WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY BUTTONS ARE AND WHY DO YOU INSIST ON PUSHING THEM AALLLLL THE TIME?? WHY CAN’T YOU STAY IN BED AT NIGHT?? WHY WHEN YOU STAY IN BED DO YOU SCREAM FOR A PARENT TO COME TO YOUR BEDSIDE EVERY 2 HOURS TO FIX SOME NONEXISTENT PROBLEM??? WHY ARE YOU WAKING UP YOUR BROTHER??”.

Oh yeah, we aren’t sleeping right now. Again. It’s fun. I think B has a bet with Augg on how soon the men with the big butterfly nets are coming for mommy. It won’t be long little lady. It won’t be long.

My mom told me last week that I need to remember that her behavior comes from the fact that she’s bright. Actually, her quote was “It’s because she’s smart. If she were dumb, this would be a lot easier to solve”. And she’s right. Bay is no dummy. She’s capable of great things which is why I get so incredibly frustrated when she flat out refuses to do something. Or worse, pretends that she doesn’t know how (button pusher, party of one…). I’m not asking Hellen Keller to sign supercalifragalisticexpialidotious, I’m asking Einstien to add two plus two. So why can’t she just say FOUR and we could move on?!

I guess because she really wants to see if the men with the nets have white coats….

Joke’s on You

October 25, 2013October 24, 20131 Comment

To the person who keeps stealing packages off of our front patio: when are you going to realize that we don’t order anything fun from Amazon? Just because it’s heavy, doesn’t mean it’s not shampoo. Or diaper rash cream. Or a fan for the dog crate. So get it through your thieving little brain; we’re boring. We order boring things. Our kids are smelly and have diaper rash so we’re going to continue to order boring things. When you see a package on our patio, just keep walking. Unless you have diaper rash. Then you might want to consider snagging it.

The Goon Room

A little of everything and nothing, all in one blog

Tag: funny