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Tag: humor
What I Learned at Noni’s House
Noni (my mom) has always been sure to point out that Grandma (Peter’s mom) is the good grandparent. Grandma is the one that takes Baylor to the park, the zoo, the library and to play dates. They read books, count rocks and lots of other educational and fun things.
Noni, by her own admittance, is the trouble maker. She’s the one to teach Baylor how to make Noni iced tea including how to shake, tear and pour the Sweet N Low. How to break into the cabinet of Mommy’s favorite, beloved and collector Barbie dolls and then convince Mommy to let her have one. How to play jokes on Pop (my step dad) by hiding his hat or his phone. And how to eat ice cream out of the container, preferably while sitting on the counter.
But their favorite pastime is collecting golf balls while out for a walk and then waiting for golfers to tee off at the hole a few hundred yards from the back gate. They then throw a few golf balls out onto the course and hide, waiting to watch the golfers walk around and decide which ball is theirs. Then they collect the balls and do it all over again.
This explains so much when B is tip toeing around the house and announcing, in a whisper, that she’s being “sneaky”. It always concerns me as to what and why she needs to be sneaky…
Post It Problem
There is a rediculous amount of post its being used on my desk right now. And these are in addition to my page long to do list. Time to get to work and get some of these tossed to the trash!
Baylor Pics
I have captured a few great, random pics of Ms.B and thought they would make a nice little post:
Not exactly sure what is happening here – going for ice cream? A sit in? Making a call? Either way, it’s adorable.
Getting that towel wrap down…
I finally got smart and or brave and was able to snap a pic of her looking so sweet!
If You Need Me, I’m in the Bathroom
Where the hell have I been for two days? I’ll tell you…it’s spring break for Bay this week (why the hell 2 year olds need a spring break from their grueling 3 half days a week, I don’t know. I guess it’s more for their freakishly patient teachers, but still… not that I don’t love my munchkin, Momma’s just gotten real used to those precious 12 hours of free time a week to do crazy stuff like work) and we are, drum roll please, potty training!
Yes, the bain of my existence as a parent is finally happening. We’ve knuckled down, broke out the timer, the potty, the big girl undies, the M&M’s and gasp! stayed in the house for 3 days straight. Well not really. I couldn’t take it so we made the super fast 5 minute trip to Noni’s house today so I could run a few errands without the fear of a wet car seat and without visiting the Costco, Sunflower, CVS and Safeway bathrooms repeatedly.
In short, I have been enjoying a little quiet / work time during the oh-so-brief nap times this week. All is going well so we will likely survive the week with little pee pee poured out for the homies and thus call it a success. Until then, it may be a little quiet around here…
Cherry Baby
Last week I was flipping through radio stations while driving my loaner car (gotta love a free loaner while mine’s getting service!) when I came across the oldie’s station. Neil Diamond, one of my all time favorites, was singing Cherry Baby. I was singing along and looked to the car in front and to the right of me. I stared at the personalized license plate for a minute before it hit me what it said:
CHRYBBY
Tell me that that license plate does not say Cherry Baby! So I saw a license plate that said Cherry Baby while listening to Cherry Baby. I was in awe. What are the odds? Then I was struck by the meaning – was this a good sign or a bad sign? What are the ramifications of a coincidence like this? Am I going to win the lottery or get pink eye? I guess only time will tell…and fingers crossed for the lottery outcome.
Breakfast for Dinner
Happy National Pancake Day! B and I had ours for breakfast, but in case you missed it, you can have some pancakey goodness for dinner!
Big Pig 2012
This weekend marked the second annual Big Pig Hunt by PW and his buddy Brian. And “thankfully”, this year it was a success.
Last year, the dynamic duo drove north and east to a remote location to hunt where they endured freezing temperatures, rain and no Javalina. This year they stuck closer to town, had 75 degree temps and still no pigs. The little devils are very attracted to trash so they terrorize neighborhoods and recycle bins rather than forage for food in the desert. I tried to tell PW they should just rent a house on the fringes of town, sit on the patio and pick the little beasts off as they knock over the trash cans. But the MEN like to camp. And hike. And pack a really ridiculous amount of gear – so much so that they were prepared for any scenario except for the apocalypse, and even then they would have been able to put up a good fight.
Sunday morning I checked my email to find this:
And yes, it’s only half a pig. Don’t ask why because I didn’t want to know. After seeing this, I began to panic wondering if Babe was coming home with PW and worse, what the hell he was going to do with it.
Thankfully, after a few pictures, Babe went home with Brian. I never did get a clear answer on what was going to become of him (her actually) so my guard is up for any suspicious packages from place like “Tom’s Tawdry House of Taxidermy” or “Craig’s Creative Creations”. Much like the beaver pelt PW bought in Montana one year, I threatened that things like that tend to have “accidents” at our house so they should really go do his office to live…which is why he meets clients in the conference room.
Baylorisms – Part 4
Nishan – The Phonenician Resort where Aunt Ali works and where we sneak into the playground. Ssshhh….
Q-she Grge – Curious George
Q-she Grge. Good Monkey. Always very q-she – Curious George was a good little monkey and always very curious
Barilla – Gorilla
How your baby going? – What she asks Ali while she pats Ali’s belly. We think a combination of how are you doing and what’s going on.
What ARF you do in? – Not sure why she says arf, but it makes me laugh every time
Miska! Mooseka! Mickey Mouse! – the magic words for Mickey Mouse Club House
What his mommy’s name? – In Bay’s world, there is a mommy, a daddy and a kiddo – in reality it’s a husband, wife and sometimes a kiddo. So when she asks what someone’s mommy or daddy’s name is, she really means spouse. And trying to explain boyfriend and girlfriend is just a lost cause.
Planet Orange
When I was in 5th grade, the Phoenix Suns were it. They had a winning season and were going into the play offs. Ali and I knew all the players and we watched all the games. We had Suns cups, Suns basketball and painted our nails purple and orange. And it wasn’t just us, the whole town was energized by the team – walls were painted with “Go Suns!”. Our catholic school allowed Suns shirts on game days – picture that: a purple, orange or purple and orange shirt with a blue and red plaid skirt. It was awesome. Charles Barkley still holds a special place in my heart to this day.
When we went to see George Strait at US Airways Center (which will always be America West Arena to me, just sayin), I told Peter I wanted to go to a Suns game. I can’t remember the last time I went to one, but it was at least 15 years ago (at least). Which means it’s about time. It happened that two weeks later, Peter’s firm sent out an email asking if anyone would like the firm’s seats for Monday night. PW snatched those tickets up faster than me at the Nordstrom half year going for the last pair of cute size 11 shoes (ok, 12. That urban legend that your feet grow when you have babies is true).
As we expertly snaked through downtown traffic (it helps to have a hubby who drives it every day) we kept looking at our parking pass, sure that we had passed the garage. We couldn’t really be parking AT the arena, could we? We pulled in, certain they were going to turn us away and the parking attendant handed us a piece of paper with a number. Huh? She told us to just pull up the ramp and hand it to the attendant up there. When we did, he instructed us to back up two spots where he then took out a cone from a reserved spot and waved us in. Like whoa. THIS is how I like to attend sporting events!
We proceeded to walk maybe 50 feet to the entrance of the loge level where we were given all you can drink and all you can eat bracelets and then escorted to our seats. Which were at the very front of the loge level, maybe 20 rows back from the court. A.MA.ZING. Not to mention the food was great, a waitress kept a steady flow of drinks AND the other two tickets went to an associate at the firm and his wife who we love.
Oh, and him? Yeah, that’s Tom Chambers. Like 5 feet from us. THAT’S how good these seats were!!
The Goon Room 