Tag: parenthood

One Sad Puppy

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Mr. Bear, our sweet old man Wheaton Terrier had a little doggie lypo suction this week. He has had two fatty cysts for over a year and one keeps getting infected. The vet said they were having a teeth cleaning special that included anesthesia and then while he was under, they would lop off the offending lumps.

I was nervous dropping him off yesterday. All I could think was “Are we being silly about this? What if he doesn’t make it through surgery? What if he doesn’t recover because of his age?”. But I trust our vet and have always appreciated her realistic approach to pet care so we kissed him and he scooted through the swinging doors.

They called a few hours later and said he did great. The surgery went very smoothly and the cysts didn’t look cancerous so that’s another win. I picked him up that afternoon and they carried my old man to the car practically held together by what seemed like 1000 metal staples. He sat next to B in the backseat and she said softly “I no touch your ouchies, ok Bear Bear? Feel better Bear Bear” all the way home.

After removing his cone and making him a special dinner of kibble and chicken stock, he started moving around. He is standing awkwardly which I’m praying it temporary, but he’s wagging his tail and moving around so I think he’s on the mend. I can’t believe I’m actually excited about the return of our kid toy eating, jumping on guest, rug peeing fur face. But I am. Get well soon Mr. Bear!

“Seriously Girl? Pictures? I’m trying to recover here. I’m so peeing on your rug when you leave today.”

Grocery Store Fun

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I would say that 80% of the time, Baylor is an angel. She is polite, sweet and just an all around good kiddo. But the other 20% of the time she’s a beast. And worse, that 20% behavior is unpredictable. I never know when it’s going to hit and how bad it’s going to be. That said, I’ve learned to take “crazy baby” time in stride and not get too worked up about it. But I can’t say the same for those around us – and that makes me crazy! Like it’s going to help me that you are gasping at her behavior?! Here’s what I mean:

We hit the grocery store late yesterday. It was probably too late in the day to be going since we were up against dinner time, but I needed a few things desperately so we went. All was going well; Bay was happily driving the Car Cart and I had only hit one display with the damn thing. We were chugging through the store and had only one aisle left to hit. Then Bay announced she needed to go to the bathroom and since we’re potty training, we abandoned the cart and dashed to the bathroom despite the fact she was wearing a pull up. Once in the bathroom, she decided she didn’t really have to go. And I realized she was missing a shoe. So now I’m getting frustrated that we’re standing the only slightly clean grocery store bathroom nearly barefoot and for no good reason. I washed her hands and we went back to the cart.

That’s when it all seemed to fall apart. B suddenly decided she didn’t want to ride in the car cart. I refused to stop and told her to please sit down because we were almost done. Instead of being deterred by the moving cart, she tucked and rolled out the side. It was quite graceful actually. But I was not in the mood. She insisted on pushing the cart and when I said no, she got LOUD. I tried to regroup; I got down on her level. I asked her, calmly, to please not shout and to please sit down so we could get home. She answered me by saying “SHOUT!!” as loud as she could. Again, trying to stay calm I said screw it to the discipline and let her push the cart – we just needed some milk and then we would be home free! If only…

We got to the check out line and as I was putting the groceries on the belt, the cashier from the other lane stepped back to say hello to Bay. Bay then proceeded to bury her head in my leg in an act of shyness and then BIT ME. HARD. ON THE THIGH/BUTT. Not only did it hurt, but it surprised me so I yelped and then said “DO NOT BITE ME!!!”. That’s when the cashier gasped, loudly, and then exchanged a look with the lady in line in front of me.

So now not only am I in a bit of pain (I have the bruise to prove it), I am annoyed that my kid has just quite literally become a pain in my ass and now I’m embarrassed because the checker has just judged me for my somewhat out of control two year old. I got on Baylor’s level, said “Get back in the cart and sit still” in the low, mom “I mean business” voice that is similar to a dog’s growl and then tried to calm down while I finished unloading groceries. It was then that I got mad – who was this lady to cop a holier than thou attitude about how my kid is behaving? I can’t control everything she does and while she was not being good, she wasn’t tearing up the store or screaming or biting other people so really, I’m doing ok as a parent!!

As I swiped my card, the cashier joked (badly) “Does she bite often??”. I responded “Only when the cashier takes too long”.

While that’s not the best line I’ve ever had, it did wipe the smarmy smile off her face. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

Wall ‘O Baylor

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I love this. I hang each hand painted animal she brings home from school on the office door. She loves seeing her handy work and it makes me smile each time I walk by. 

Gambling with Appliances

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About 6 months ago, our dryer started beeping. Like all the time. Whenever it’s running, it’s beeping. And they dial never turns to the right setting unless you really shove it in – and even then you have to quickly push start with your other hand to get it to a delicate setting that won’t nuke they clothes.

I finally broke down and called Sears appliance repair. The guy on the phone was actually very through and very nice. He explained that they sell a 1 year warranty that will cover all the parts and labor and that includes whatever is currently wrong with it. The cost? $145. The visit itself was $129…so there was a chance that I just needed a new knob that costs $10 and I would get out for $140 bucks total. Oooorr I could buy the warranty and if there was some astronomically expensive part, it would be covered….decisions decisions. I felt like I was at the blackjack table trying to decide if I was going to hit on 12 when the dealer was showing 13.

Not being a gambler – or I should say a good gambler – I did not buy the warranty. And you know what? I was wrong. Dead, stinking, ridiculously wrong. I hit and got a Queen and the dealer got an 8.

Within literally 2 minutes of being in my laundry room, the man had an estimate of $450. Four HUNDRED and fifty dollars. One f word crossed my mind and it was not fifty.

Despite the repair man being very nice, he did look a little smug when he realized I had busted on my bet. So I took my chips and went home – or more accurately said No Gracias and decided I’ll keep my beeping drying until it croaks (hey, it’s made it 6 months!) and put that chunk o change towards a new dryer.

Who knows, maybe Baylor and I will form a band with the dryer as our beat box…

 

 

Homemade Applesauce

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This recipe is so simple and so good. It’s easy to make quickly or ahead of time.

Ingredients: 4 apples – I like Honey Crisp. They are sweet, but have a little tangy-ness Cinnamon (0ptional) No seriously, that’s it. Chop apples into small 1/2 inch chunks. Steam for approximately 8-10 minutes or until fork tender. Reserve the liquid from steaming and use to smooth out mixture while blending. Add in a little cinnamon for flavor. Start with a quarter teaspoon and add more after tasting. That’s it! This is so simple and yet so good. It’s delicious as a side dish or served warm for dessert. If you want to get fancy, reserve some of the steamed apples and mix in with the blended for a chunkier version. You could also bake in a ramekin with a piece of puff pastry on top for a quick and easy version of apple pie. Enjoy!

Baylor-isms

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The munchkin has had another big language burst since starting preschool. I am constantly marveling at what she says and how much it changes and grows every day. She is constantly learning new words and putting together long sentences – it’s amazing to be able to communicate with her at this level!

Even though she’s learning so much, she doesn’t always have quite the right pronunciation. Which has made for a long list of hilarious “Baylor-isms”. Some of my favorites:

“Peter Butter Cups” – Yes, she’s talking about Reese’s Peanut butter Cups! She has learned that daddy’s name is Peter and apparently she also thinks he makes the awesome stuff that goes inside those addictive little cups.

“Shib” – Not the thing that prisoners stab each other with – rather this is her crib. It’s a word I hear often as there is usually an animal stuck her shib.

“Seeecreeetts” – this one she actually says correctly, but she doesn’t really get it. She will tell me she has a secret and then whisper the word “seeecreeettss” in my ear.

“Mine birthday is June 2nd” – I just love this one. She got in the car one day and I could literally see her working on forming the words before she finally announced her birth date perfectly! The look of pride on her face was priceless.

“Mustang Salad” – My mom’s first car, a 67 Mustang convertible, lives with us. She’s beautiful and we call her Cecilia. Every day we walk between the Mustang and our car in the garage and I usually sing the Wilson Pickett song Mustang Sally to Baylor. About a month ago and out of the blue, she started singing the song. Except when she says Sally, it comes out Salad.

“All the time” – it comes out, more like “All da time”. This is her catch phrase – almost everything is done all da time.  I will ask “Did you go to the playground today?” and the response will be “Yes mommy, all da time!”.

“Bethers” – Again, this one she says perfectly. Bethers is a nickname from college that Peter usually uses when he’s looking for me. So it’s always shouted across the house. One night while PW was giving Baylor her bath, she shouted “BETHERS!! ALL DONE!!” which meant she was ready for me to come put on her jammies.

I can’t wait to see what’s coming next. Although I did say that a car driving by us today was “ghetto” and she promptly pointed at the car and repeated “ghetto” perfectly. I’m sure there will be a note coming home from school soon noting that ghetto is not an appropriate word to use at school…unless of course something actually was ghetto.

 

Sweet Sweet Sleep

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Last week, out of the blue, Baylor started waking up at 4:50am. I was woken up out of a deep sleep by a very loud voice shouting “MOMMY!!! AWAKE!!!!” over the baby monitor. I promptly turned the monitor down a bit and attempted to go back to sleep, praying that she would do the same. No luck.

This has gone on for the last two weeks. Bay wakes up, attempts to wake us up and then we all spend an hour + trying to get back to sleep. It’s made for some amazing melt downs (from each of us) and some extra super dark circles under my eyes.

I stomped into Bay’s room one morning, tired and crabby. I was sure I couldn’t take the forced, early mornings anymore when the sweet face standing in the crib proclaimed “Mommy. Teeth. Hurt.” I asked her which tooth and she pointed to the new white molar stabbing through her gum. My heart broke. Her early mornings were obviously coming from painful new teeth causing her not to be able to sleep – or get back to sleep.

Suddenly the early mornings didn’t seem so bad and getting her to feel better became the priority. With some extra nap time and a little Tylenol, she is finally sleeping a little later. Not like 8am sleeping, but you know, a mom can dream.

PB&J Sashimi

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We don’t usually get to eat together as a family during the week so we make it a priority to eat almost all our meals together on the weekends. This Saturday we got take out from one of our favorite places, Dozo sushi. It is by far, one of the hidden gems in Scottsdale.

While PW and I enjoyed salmon sushi, a Vegas roll and a Rainbow roll, Bay enjoyed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a fruit smoothie and carrots. She was loving using the plastic forks that came with dinner – but then became obsessed with using the chop sticks. So we handed her a pair and cut up her sandwich so she could grab a few bites. And I have to say, she did pretty well!!

 

What?? I use chop sticks all the time.

allllmossttt got it….

Success!!!

The best part? The novelty of the chop sticks means she ate every last thing on her plate!

The CarCart – Bain of my Existance

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What I want to know is this: who is the asshole who created the car cart at the grocery store?? Because this person should be forced to push this contraption around with them everywhere they go and see what a pain in the ass it is.

First of all, the placement of the car is not helpful. It’s low and in front of the basket which makes it impossible to A. steer and B. see where you’re going. Many an end of aisle display has been damaged by these beasts.

Second, because the actual car part is low to the ground, the kiddo is constantly hanging out a window or the windshield trying to get a better view. Or worse case, she decides it’s more fun to push the cart. Thus making what is already an annoying process, impossible.

Third, the damn things are always filthy. I even asked the manager at Safeway (who is on a first name basis with both Baylor and I because we’re there so much) if they could clean them. He says they sprayed them in bleach and scrubbed and they still look like a herd of pigs stomped through them.

I’ve had to resort to more and more elaborate lies to keep B out of them. The car is out of gas, it’s stuck, it’s broken, it’s only for big kids…the list goes on an on. And then there are days where the lies just don’t work and I give into the persistence. Only to end up pushing the cart with the help of my assistant – which turns a half hour trip into an hour plus. All the while cursing the car cart….

Car Bomb

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When we were kids, we had good family friends that we went to California with every summer. Their four kids to our two plus their parents and my mom made for one packed suburban. After a week of driving to and from the beach to the rental house, our friend’s dad would declare that the SUV smelled like “there were too many butts dragging across the seats”. This became a signature scent in our family and anytime something smelled wrong, it was always reminiscent of too many butts.

Last night I confessed, while laughing hysterically, that I had dropped an entire cheese stick between my seat and the console of my car. I had been trying to open it for the kiddo and it slipped right out of the plastic. Now, for anyone who knows me, any friends or roommates, they will testify that I am neat. Annoyingly neat. ridiculously clean. My worst fear is that someone-will-think-my-house-smells-funny kind of clean. So the fact that I’m knowingly driving around with a cheese stick under my seat is so appalling, it’s funny.

Peter, not believing me, trucked out to the garage with a fork in hand to retrieve said snack. When asked why I hadn’t done something about it, I said that I had A. forgotten about it having become accustomed to the smell that ridding around with a toddler who snacks in the car brings and B. I’m having my car detailed this weekend and I was going to have them get it out. disgusted, Peter forged on moving the driver seat forwards and backwards, continually stabbing at the missing dairy product. I, a little buzzed after a glass (or 2) of wine am giggling in the passenger seat. The role reversal of the situation was hilarious. It’s also a good 116 degrees in our garage so it may have been a heat induced state, I’m not sure.

Five minutes later, Peter grabbed the hardened stick off the fork, threw it away and declared me disgusting. All while scretly finding it hysterical because I know he’s accidentally dropped an entire spit cup in his truck. I’ll take a wayward cheese stick over that any day.