Tag: funny

PB&J Sashimi

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We don’t usually get to eat together as a family during the week so we make it a priority to eat almost all our meals together on the weekends. This Saturday we got take out from one of our favorite places, Dozo sushi. It is by far, one of the hidden gems in Scottsdale.

While PW and I enjoyed salmon sushi, a Vegas roll and a Rainbow roll, Bay enjoyed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a fruit smoothie and carrots. She was loving using the plastic forks that came with dinner – but then became obsessed with using the chop sticks. So we handed her a pair and cut up her sandwich so she could grab a few bites. And I have to say, she did pretty well!!

 

What?? I use chop sticks all the time.

allllmossttt got it….

Success!!!

The best part? The novelty of the chop sticks means she ate every last thing on her plate!

The Legend of Kate Morgan

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While sitting on the deck of the Hotel Del Coronado, my mom and I joked about the legend of Kate Morgan. We quickly realized my brother-in-law had never heard the story and so began a dramatic retelling of the legend…

In the late 1800’s, Kate Morgan checked into the Hotel Del awaiting her loovvvaaa. However, after days of waiting, he never showed. Angry, upset, sad, confused…no one knew her true state of mind when she flung herself out of the window. Kate Morgan checked in, but never checked out. It’s said that the room she stayed in is frequently disturbed by ghosts. A shadowy figure by the window, toilets flushing by themselves, ash trays thrown across the room and billowy curtains despite closed windows.

Somehow, the tall tale spiraled into this topic: what if KM had just moseyed down to the bar and enjoyed a “screw him” cocktail? Maybe things would have ended a little nicer for her. Having already imbibed our own cocktails, my mom and I flagged down the waiter and asked him: “What would you have brought Kate Morgan if she wanted a screw him kinda cocktail?!”. Bewildered and then suddenly amused, the waiter agreed to bring us whatever the bartender deemed worthy of Kate.

A few minutes later, the love child of a Mai Tai and a Pina Colada arrived at our table. We toasted Kate, wherever she may be. Two sips and we were giggling. Three sips and we were howling. Four sips and we decided it was time to go back to the beach before we were asked to leave.

Along the way, my mom informed me that the little metal strips on the short wall along the board walk were butt spacers – so no one would sit too close to you. I countered with the fact that they were there so skate boarders wouldn’t ride along the wall. “Oh.” She replied and then promptly told me I was wrong. Fits of laughter ensued.

Oh. Helllloooo my pretty….

 

Back to Life…

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At 5:30am this morning, the alarm clock went off. The following are the thoughts, in order, that went through my head:

1. what the hell is that noise??

2. where am I??

3. why did I set the alarm clock on vacation?

4. oh crap, vacation is over and I’m home. So what was the alarm for?

5. oh right, wake up Peter so he can go run. I wonder if he really wants to run….

 

Ah the day after a fun and relaxing vacation is never easy. It’s back to the reality of emails, bills and work. And a serious amount of laundry and ironing. Sigh…

I mean seriously. And this isn’t even all of it.

Also, be sure to catch my new post on Scottsdale Moms Blog. Super cute DIY kids calendar that I made for Baylor. She still thinks every day is Friday, but really, don’t we all?

http://www.scottsdalemomsblog.com/

If You Can’t Stand the Heat…

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This is officially the hotest summer in Arizona history. Like by actual meteorologist standards, not just by my “my calfs are sweating it’s so hot” standards. Granted, our centenial isn’t even until next year, but still, that’s saying something. There have been 30 days of 110+ heat this year. The average is 10 days. Even my cacti is looking feeble.

The solution? Retreat. Retreat and don’t look back. Go west. Go west until you hit the water….

Kasey Who?

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A few months ago,  I was flipping through channels and landed on The Bachelorette. I’m not a huge fan of the show, but it always brings back happy memories of piling on the Alpha Phi couches (and getting there early so you didn’t have to sit on the side that smelled odd) to watch the show.

After watching for a few minutes, they showed the bio of one of the dudes. His name was Kasey Kahl and he was from Fresno, CA. I got a flash of recognition. I knew this guy, but from where? Another show? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks; he dated my roommate freshman year of college.

Yes, I am so very lucky to say that I have met the fame whore before he started dating the shnoz, Vienna (if you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s good. It means you’re doing something more meaningful with your life than watching trash TV. I, however, cannot say this) (also, what is with that hair?! could she please get a new stylist, stat). If you had asked me what my roommate’s “back home” boyfriend’s name was, I couldn’t have told you for a million dollars. But flash that cheesy smile, a name and a location and it all came flooding back.

My freshman year roommate and I were randomly paired up and did not exactly hit it off. We were polar oppositites who grew to tolerate each other and gasp! Even like each other a little by the end of the year. I tried to look her up on facebook to send her a note and get her take on the ex’s new found fame and sadly, I could not find her. It seems she has a respectable job now and I’m sure doesn’t want a rash of people asking her about past exploits. But I think I’m safe in saying that her freshman-year-of-college self would be quoted along the lines of “Yeah, I broke up with him. So I win”.

Why Does Saving the Planet Have to be so Ugly?

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I hate CFL bulbs. There. I said it. I am not an environment hater, I just can’t stand the ugly, orange glow from CFL bulbs.

Don’t get me wrong, I see all the benefits of these ugly, little beasts; the cost savings, the lower use of energy, the saving of the planet, blah blah blah. All do not add up to pretty light. And yes, it does make a difference. I do not want to look like a drag queen all day because I couldn’t tell that I had too much blush on because it was drowned out by the orange light.

Not to mention that the opposite on the CFL color spectrum is so bright and sterile white, it gives me flash backs to the operating room when Baylor was born.

The solution? GE Reveal CFL bulbs. We have bought two forms of these now and I love the color. Yes, it still has a little of the orange glow when the bulb is warming up, but not so harsh as it’s offensive CFL friends.  And we put a flood light version in the kitchen and it blends in seamlessly with it’s incandesent cousins.

See? Not to shabby:

So if you would like to save the environment and a few dollars without sacrificing your mental state to orange light, try a few of the GE Reveal versions of CFL bulbs. Your non-drag queen looking self will thank me.

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&sugexp=bvec&cp=10&gs_id=1h&xhr=t&q=ge+reveal+cfl&qe=R0UgUmV2ZWFsIA&qesig=eP4CnWzXF5ZufUbw6xqVeQ&pkc=AFgZ2tmOQHcrGfJRaGJctv6_bApU4IonbkKau8IcVTNievtpA6Ke-rdDmIdLsoiA_AInzNgslVNsnAbXV6DL9W63AX6HsiLkSQ&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1366&bih=600&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=16967538321504657852&sa=X&ei=4b9bTrGzIOeLsgKXqsnFDA&sqi=2&ved=0CHkQ8wIwBA

It’s a Good Thing You’re Cute, Kid

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Maybe it’s the heat. Maybe she’s got a molar coming in. Maybe her new-found independence from preschool is being demonstrated at home. Maybe she’s just two but the munchkin is making me crazy this week!

This is an actual conversation that happened this week in the car:

“Baylor. Shoes. Off.”

“No, please leave your shoes on.”

“Shoes. Off. Now.”

“B, we’re almost to the store. Please leave your shoes on.”

minor meltdown and then reluctantly the shoes go back on.

“Yea!! Good listening!!”

“Shoes. Off. Again. Mommy.”

dirty look from the front seat…..

“Yea Baylor!!! I did it! Shoes! On!”

“I think you’re missing the point kid…”

 

That is a nice version of the battles and lessons of the week! If I say yes, she says no. If I say do it, she says no. If I say no, she says yes.  If she gets rewarded for listening well, then she does the bad behavior all over to get the reward. I either need her to move on to the next phase or for it to cool down so she can go out and, as my mom would say, blow the stink off….

What’s in Baylor’s Bag – Crib Edition

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On Monday night, I was at a meeting for the water company during Baylor’s bed time. I snuck in her room when I got home to give her a kiss and pull a few of her stuffed animals out of her crib. What I found was this:

Not just your average crib fair. Here’s what she was snoozing with:

Cat

Minnie Mouse

Franchesca the doll

Baby

Baby’s bottle

A moose

5 books

A plumb

A banana

3 tea cups and saucers

2 angels

A pillow

And the flowers that are on the table next to crib that she can grab and pull in

Sweet Sweet Insanity

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I just finished The Help  and absolutely loved it. It was so well written, you could almost hear the characters speaking (not to be confused with the normal voices in my head). The part I liked the best was that the there was still story after the climax – I hate when you get to the best part of the book and poof! It’s over.

I noted a favorite line from the book:

“…it was like something cracked open inside of me, not unlike a watermelon, cool and soothing and sweet. I always thought insanity would be a dark, bitter feeling, but it is drenching and delicious if you really roll around in it.”

I read it aloud to PW – which got me thinking. Why do I like this phrase so much? Is it because it’s so different and so beautifully written? Or because I feel it’s so true?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the answer? Is that it really just depends on the day 😉

Momversation

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While at a Scottsdale Moms Blog playdate last week, I was standing in line to get a balloon animal for Baylor. Yes, I was standing in line, Baylor was running amok near the wild animal table. She pretends to like the animals, but really, she’s just there for the hand sanitizer. I had an eye on my wild woman and was chatting with my friend/neighbor and another mom who were also waiting in line.

After a few minutes, I stopped to let the ladies I was speaking with know that I was in fact listening to them, I just needed to keep both eyes on B so that she didn’t free the Chinchilla or something more creepy crawly from Jungle Jill. They both laughed and said “I haven’t had a conversation while looking at the person I was talking to since my oldest was born!”. It dawned on me – this was not a conversation, but a momversation.

A momverstaion is a conversation between two or more mothers that A. does not require eye contact with anyone but your kids B. is paused more than once to wipe a hand, pick up a crying kiddo or yell “stop with the hand sanitizer already!!” only to be picked right back up like nothing happened and C. can be had doing any kind of activity including nursing, feeding, changing a diaper, etc.

It is a skill that is honed among moms. It’s difficult to learn and requires much patience and practice. Especially when there is a severe drought of sleep in the household. But it is a necessity if one ever wants to have a meaningful conversation with a friend, husband or anyone for that matter. So next time you’re talking to a friend who is a mom and she does not look at you, just know that she is using her honed skill of multi tasking, or momversating.