Tag: humor

What Did You Call Me?!

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I realized the other day that Peter and I have a lot of stupid names we call Baylor. They are all funny names that have come up from the various stages in her life and the activities that happen during those stages.

For example, when she was first born I made the mistake of calling her “crib” in the hospital (which is more like a big, clear plastic bucket) her crate – as in the dog crates we use at home. I found this hilarious but the nurse did not. We found ourselves calling her Puppy for a while after that.

She was also referred to as the Drool Monkey for a while. The drool part is obvious, don’t ask me where the monkey part came from. We were sleep deprived and found stupid things hysterical. Angel Baby evolved to Angel Puff and then to Puffer until she started eating Gerber Puffies and then that stopped.

We’ve always affectionately called her Baby Man Hands because she has well, really big hands for a kid. And they seemed really large when she was very small. She has always been Toots McGoots and Stinks McGinks for obvious reasons.

And lastly, she is Crayon Eater. While sweetly coloring with Peter last weekend, she randomly picked up her crayon, observed it, and then bit off the tip. And so, a new nick name is born.

(Bear is really trying to look pathetic in this one…and you see where the Puppy name comes in..!)

Kids V. No Kids

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When you don’t have kids and have a lazy Sunday morning, you get up around 10am. When you do have a kid, you get up at 6:30, have pancakes, water plants, play in the play house, read books, put stickers on the dogs, have a snack, get soaked by the house, change, have a glass of milk and then go back to sleep at 10am.

The Power of No

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A very novel thought occurred to me the other day: I could just say “no” when asked to do something. Not “I’m soooo sorry, but I have an appointment and I don’t have a sitter for Baylie but please keep me in mind next time you need help, again so so sorry!!”. But rather just a plain and simple “no, I can’t”.

I think it’s funny that this didn’t occur to me before this point – it’s not a novel idea, but it struck me like one. I think when you’re a kid and a teenager and more importantly a young adult, you’re never allowed to say no. You don’t want to be impolite or incorrect or worse, a bitch, so you always give in and say yes. When I had my first and second jobs and my real career, I never said no. And it was that “go getter” attitude that got me where I wanted to go, but I think also the reason I was so burned out when Baylie was born and what spurred me to decided to resign and stay home.

When I can pay taxes, get an umbrella policy on the home I own and give birth to another human being, I can say no to something if I don’t want to do it, consequences be damned. If the other person doesn’t like my answer, oh well. They will either get over it or they won’t and that’s ok by me.

Don’t panic, I haven’t turned over a new, cynical leaf. But I have realized that sometimes for my own sanity I need to back off and not be the “go to” person for all friends, family and everyone else. Peter is laughing at this post right now thinking that this is A. not true and I never say no to anyone but him B. there’s no way I’m going to start saying no to people because it’s not in my vocabulary and C. that I need to stop writing about him in my posts. And he has a point, it’s my nature to be the fixer in most situations. But I’ve learned that there are limits and saying no is something I need to do more – even if it’s just to doing the dishes.

You Know You’re a Mom When…

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1. You can tackle almost any house hold task silently. Dishes, laundry, ironing,  vacuuming, mopping, etc all produce some kind of noise. A mom can do all with ninja like stealth.

2. Your purse weighs as much as your baby

3. The contents of your purse would help you through any imaginable scenario from a runny nose to a hungry kiddo to defusing a nuclear missile.

4. You can carry a baby, a purse, push a stroller and a coffee with ease.

5. When you hear classical music, you know which Baby Einstein dvd it’s from.

6. You speak in sing songy voices to adults by accident.

7. You can make a game out of folding clothes, doing dishes and eating vegetables.

8. You know that no toys is as fun or holds attention like a cell phone, keys or a random item in your purse can.

9. You measure lengths of time by nap times. “I got the entire yard trimmed, raked up AND a shower in one nap!”.

10.You have a ridiculously amazing ability to suck it up.