If you don’t drink, the terrorist win

I dedicate this post to my good friend and sorority sister, Melissa for making the phrase “I’m such a good dancer right now!” famous (with us anyway). I have also confessed this story to my mom who now thinks it’s hilarious so it’s ok to tell.

The year, 2001. The place, Tucson Arizona. The setting, a month or so after September 11th and living in the Phi. The problem, Tucson journalist trying to freak people out.

After September 11th, the Tucson news kept telling people that Tucson was a potential major target for terrorist because the Raytheon missal manufacturing company was based somewhere just outside of T-town. Which to a bunch of sorority girls means we were all totally freaked. After telling my mom this, she gave me a substantial amount of cash. This was emergency cash and was going to be money to get out of Tucson should something terrible happen. If you’ll remember, we were told that ATMs wouldn’t work, air travel would be stopped and you would be stuck in whatever city you were in should there be a chemical or any other kind of attack.

The money stayed safely hidden in my room (read closet – as in our shared rooms were the size of most people’s walk in closets because we all slept in another room – it’s weird, just go with it) for several months. When it became apparent in in early 2002 that we probably weren’t all going to die a horrible death, I dipped into what I dubbed the Terrorist Fund to finance a new outfit for a date dash and some drinks at said date dash. By May, I, like most of my friends was broke and was in need of some cash for the famous Alpha Phi Luau. Luau, or Wai Ki Phi as it was called that year, is a two day party. It starts with a Friday night date dash and goes into a Saturday pool party. I decided that once again, I’d dip into the TF so that we could have a good time.

The date dash that night was at an establishment famous in Tucson called the No Tell Motel. I wish I were kidding. Thankfully, there were Jello shots going around so after a few minutes, you forgot about what a fine place we were in. After a few rounds of grape shots (never, never again), I started buying rounds of shots for all my friends on the TF – and announced that we were drinking on the Terrorist Fund which got many cheers. Awhile later we were dancing on the packed dance floor and I coined the now famous quote “I’m such a good dancer right now!!”. My buddy Melissa was quick to pull out her phone and leave herself a voicemail with me reciting my new favorite line.

The next day as we were all hanging (and by hanging I mean hanging over, not actually hanging) on the couches waiting for the bus to take us to the next round of drunken debauchery when Melissa decided to call her voice mail. She instantly burst out laughing and put the message on speaker so we could all listen.  I’ve still not lived this down – in seeing Melissa recently, she asked “does Baylie know what a good dancer you are?”.

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