Dear Weatherman,

STOP IT. Stop telling me that there is a “cool down” on the way. Stop telling me that there’s “a chance for showers”. Stop saying that “we’ve seen the last of the triple digits!”. Stop saying it because you know they are all lies. Vicious, filthy lies. Every time there is a blessed 80 on the seven-day forecast, it keeps moving. It starts out on Thursday. And the next day it’s not coming until Friday. And on Friday, it’s coming on Monday. And suddenly it’s 105 again and the “cool down is coming!”. I can’t take it anymore!

So until you’re ready to come clean and be honest about the fact that even thought it’s October, it’s still 102 and that’s just the way it is, then I think we need some time apart.

Best,

Beth