The table behind our couch needed a little…something. Some change. Some summer. Something new. So I splurged on some good Pottery Barn candles and grabbed their catalog too to steal some decorating ideas. A few cheapy sea shells and voila! Instant summer decorating! Check out Scottsdale Moms Blog today to see the results!
Category: Random
Practice Makes Perfect
Yesterday Baylor and I babysat baby Mason for a few hours while Ali got her hair did. I wanted to help out because A. nothing says fun like trying to calm a baby while someone is putting foil in your hair and B. I secretly wanted a little practice. I wanted to see what it would be like to have two of them and get a few things done.
After a bottle, change, car seat move and a packed diaper bag, we ventured out to pick up coffee at our favorite roastery and grab a few things at the grocery. Bold, yes. But none of it was essential so there was plenty of time to abort the mission. But thankfully, M was the perfect gentleman and sat happily in his car seat the entire time. B was a golden child. Like the kind you think your kid is going to be when you have a second child. She listened, she helped, she even climbed in the same door as Mason’s car seat, shimmyed into her seat and was 90% strapped in when I got to her side. I’m sure it was the novelty of having her cousin around, but I’m going to pretend that this will still happen (at least for a little while) when it’s her brother.
The one thing I didn’t think about was me. Well the belly anyway. Mason is about 7 weeks old and I look more like I ate a really big burrito and am allergic to sit ups more than pregnant so everyone (naturally) assumed he was mine. I don’t know why, but I was a little unwilling to accept the chubby momma role (since his actual mother is back into her pre pregnancy jeans. bitch.). Thankfully my assistant was happy to tell anyone that looked her way that this was her cousin Mason and that she was babysitting and that her brother was in mommy’s belly. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.
All in all, it was a positive experience. Although I plan to really enjoy my current one munchkin schedule.
For Rent
My step sister Sarah texted me this pic Saturday night:
My response: “It must have been VERY nice and VERY expensive!”
Peter’s response: “Seriously. 1 Beth is PLENTY.”
It’s nice to know you’re loved….
Ready for MNO?
Scottsdale Moms Blog Mom’s Night Out is this week! If you haven’t bought your ticket yet there’s still time – but hurry! This is shaping up to be another fun evening so quick quick! Get your tickets!
Suggestive Literature
I have a problem. I am very totally and completely influenced by Baylor’s book Curious George Visits the Chocolate Factory. I can’t read it without craving a big box of chocolates. I can feel myself starting to drool when reading the descriptions of each type of chocolate. I can smell the sweet smell when George sneaks into the candy room. Nothing else will stop the craving, it has to be a box of chocolates. Particularly See’s Candies…which is why I stood in their store last week and happily hand-picked each one of these little beauties…what? I can’t drink the bottle of wine I really really want, why not substitute with candy?
I wish I was as influenced by the tales of George’s other adventures….but unfortunatly despite reading and rereading and reading again Curious George and the Hot Air Balloon Race and Curious George and the Dinosaur Dig I have no desire to become an archaeologist nor hop in a balloon. Maybe if George wrote Curious George Finally Writes the Whitty Memior He’s been Dreaming About Despite Having Two Kids, Running a Business and Trying to Stay on the Acceptable Side of Sanity it would have the same effect as the damn chocolate factory story. AND my butt wouldn’t get so fat so that would be nice too.
Bar Hopping with the Iphone
Today’s post is brought to you by the one and only Noni. That’s right, Big Jude, my mom is the guest blogger today. She didn’t intend it, but when she sent me the following email, I knew it was perfect fodder for The Goon Room. So grab a drink and toast the 55+ crowd and their salute to the Iphone. Her quote about what kind of Iphone she has is my favorite – enjoy and thanks Nonester!
Yesterday I found the perfect place for a bar—next to the Apple store at Biltmore Mall.
Went to the Apple Store to have my Iphone checked out—you make the appointment on line (of Course) once you figure out how to move the page far enough down to let you see everything because of course you use the larger print on the computer than the under 30’s. Then you book the appointment at the genius bar and you become hopeful—like maybe the Iphone can be fixed and no longer run down to dead battery every 4 hours, maybe it will finally connect to WIFI and that damn Siri will quit asking how she can help and when you tell her she just says—I’m busy now.
So off I go —a little early cause afterall they’re doing me this great service and I arrive –the store is a large loud box—all hard surfaces so everything is alive and moving—the tables are lined with goodies—Iphones, Ipads, computers, TV’s and there are no signs because cyber people know where to go because Siri told them….me unfortunately had that deer in the headlite look in my eye and I clutched my Iphone hoping somehow it would communicate with the mother ship and let her know I had arrived!
Everyone in the store that is a customer is an average age of 55+ (I’m being nice) and everyone working there is 19+ (again kindness). I wanted to fit in so I thought I would look at an extra plug for my Iphone—make nice kinda—a perky young thing pounced on me and offered help—What kind of Iphone do you have—well I was ready–“White”! She saw the little darling under my arm and snatched it up and announced —Just an Iphone! Ok, I’m learning…..then she asks if I would like to check myself out—frankly I just got here and was hoping to check myself in—so I decline and she says ok—do you want me to email your receipt or do you want a paper receipt—well I figured she didn’t know my email so I say paper—only to find out they don’t have paper—so I said skip the receipt—I’m really here for trouble shooting.
Three very nice young people checked their tiny little wireless computers and saw I was indeed a “scheduled guest” for the genius bar!! One of them drew the short straw and suggested I “take a load off”—now seriously at my age and backside don’t ever use the word “load” in the same sentence with my name…..so I continued to stare into the vast array of things flashing, happening, and doing. Finally a nice young man who only spoke Japanese appeared and announced he was there to help. He asked me several questions with that thick Japanese broken English to which I politely replied “What???” and then he suggested a Reset was in store—so I handed over the Iphone and he proceeded to wipe it out as I watched and asked me to hold it for 5 minutes—I think this is similar to how the doctors let you visit with the sick family member before they pull the plug. He pulled the plug and handed it back and said—if that didn’t fix it reschedule another appointment—so I walked out shell shocked realizing I had just lost all the phone numbers, my email, and my 3 new audio books and as I drove home in the quiet I realized a martini bar next to that store would have a steady flow of people (55+) all day long!!! Anyone up for investing?
The DD
I have a theory about being pregnant and those around me drinking. My theory is this: I obviously can’t drink, so why wouldn’t I be the designated driver? And why wouldn’t I be the DD for as many friends as possible? Really, just because I can’t enjoy many many many glasses of wine, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t and have someone to drive you home safely and mostly for free.
I say mostly not because I would charge people for my taxi services – I learned my lesson charging for driving servicse one night in college. My parent’s asked me if I would drive them and their friends to and from dinner. I agreed, but for a price. And because my mother is far more devious than I am, they made me wear a chauffeur hat, all sat in the back seats and instructed me to “not turn around”. Major backfire.
I wouldn’t volunteer to drive and then collect actual dollar bills…I say mostly because I do expect reciprocity. And I do keep track. If I drive a group of friends to dinner as the DD, in about 5-6 months, I will be calling them to go to dinner and I will expect them to drive, no questions asked.
PW gets the worst of it. And this time around he’s much more aware of his tab. With Baylor, my sobriety lasted a little longer than the standard gestation of a baby for breast feeding, severe sleep deprivation and because it took awhile to get back into my skinny jeans and my drinking shoes (who’s a lightweight? me!). Therefore his tenure as non negotiable designated driver lasted close to a year. Which is why this time, he is keeping a much closer eye on his tally.
And the Winner Is….
Thanks to all for reading and commenting on why you need a Mom’s Night Out! The lucky winner of TWO tickets to Scottsdale Mom’s Blog Mom’s Night Out is……Good Cop Mom, Erin!! I will be in touch with details about your tickets asap.
Be sure to check out Erin’s blog too: http://goodcopmom.wordpress.com/
Laura and Ashley – I will be shooting you an email too shortly with a consolation prize!
What I Learned at Noni’s House
Noni (my mom) has always been sure to point out that Grandma (Peter’s mom) is the good grandparent. Grandma is the one that takes Baylor to the park, the zoo, the library and to play dates. They read books, count rocks and lots of other educational and fun things.
Noni, by her own admittance, is the trouble maker. She’s the one to teach Baylor how to make Noni iced tea including how to shake, tear and pour the Sweet N Low. How to break into the cabinet of Mommy’s favorite, beloved and collector Barbie dolls and then convince Mommy to let her have one. How to play jokes on Pop (my step dad) by hiding his hat or his phone. And how to eat ice cream out of the container, preferably while sitting on the counter.
But their favorite pastime is collecting golf balls while out for a walk and then waiting for golfers to tee off at the hole a few hundred yards from the back gate. They then throw a few golf balls out onto the course and hide, waiting to watch the golfers walk around and decide which ball is theirs. Then they collect the balls and do it all over again.
This explains so much when B is tip toeing around the house and announcing, in a whisper, that she’s being “sneaky”. It always concerns me as to what and why she needs to be sneaky…
Post It Problem
There is a rediculous amount of post its being used on my desk right now. And these are in addition to my page long to do list. Time to get to work and get some of these tossed to the trash!
The Goon Room 