Bar Hopping with the Iphone

Today’s post is brought to you by  the one and only Noni. That’s right, Big Jude, my mom is the guest blogger today. She didn’t intend it, but when she sent me the following email, I knew it was perfect fodder for The Goon Room. So grab a drink and toast the 55+ crowd and their salute to the Iphone. Her quote about what kind of Iphone she has is my favorite – enjoy and thanks Nonester!

Yesterday I found the perfect place for a bar—next to the Apple store at Biltmore Mall.
Went to the Apple Store to have my Iphone checked out—you make the appointment on line (of Course) once you figure out how to move the page far enough down to let you see everything because of course you use the larger print on the computer than the under 30’s.  Then you book the appointment at the genius bar and you become hopeful—like maybe the Iphone can be fixed and no longer run down to dead battery every 4 hours, maybe it will finally connect to WIFI and that damn Siri will quit asking how she can help and when you tell her she just says—I’m busy now.
So off I go —a little early cause afterall they’re doing me this great service and I arrive –the store is a large loud box—all hard surfaces so everything is alive and moving—the tables are lined with goodies—Iphones, Ipads, computers, TV’s and there are no signs because cyber people know where to go because Siri told them….me unfortunately had that deer in the headlite look in my eye and I clutched my Iphone hoping somehow it would communicate with the mother ship and let her know I had arrived!
Everyone in the store that is a customer is an average age of 55+ (I’m being nice) and everyone working there is 19+ (again kindness).  I wanted to fit in so I thought I would look at an extra plug for my Iphone—make nice kinda—a perky young thing pounced on me and offered help—What kind of Iphone do you have—well I was ready–“White”!  She saw the little darling under my arm and snatched it up and announced —Just an Iphone!  Ok, I’m learning…..then she asks if I would like to check myself out—frankly I just got here and was hoping to check myself in—so I decline and she says ok—do you want me to email your receipt or do you want a paper receipt—well I figured she didn’t know my email so I say paper—only to find out they don’t have paper—so I said skip the receipt—I’m really here for trouble shooting.
Three very nice young people checked their tiny little wireless computers and saw I was indeed a “scheduled guest” for the genius bar!!  One of them drew the short straw and suggested I “take a load off”—now seriously at my age and backside don’t ever use the  word “load” in the same sentence with my name… I continued to stare into the vast array of things flashing, happening, and doing.  Finally a nice young man who only spoke Japanese appeared and announced he was there to help.  He asked me several questions with that thick Japanese broken English to which I politely replied “What???” and then he suggested a Reset was in store—so I handed over the Iphone and he proceeded to wipe it out as I watched and asked me to hold it for 5 minutes—I think this is similar to how the doctors let you visit with the sick family member before they pull the plug.  He pulled the plug and handed it back and said—if that didn’t fix it reschedule another appointment—so I walked out shell shocked realizing I had just lost all the phone numbers, my email, and my 3 new audio books and as I drove home in the quiet I realized a martini bar next to that store would have a steady flow of people (55+) all day long!!!  Anyone up for investing?

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