Sibling Love

Driving to school yesterday, I was in my own head and trying to tune out the argument coming from the backseat about where someone’s stuff animal could sit and where someone’s backpack should go. But then after a minute of silence, I overheard this:

“Sissy. When you go the ballet next time with Grandma, can I go too?”

“Sure, buddy. I think you’re big enough now.”

“How big do you have to be??”

“……..”

“Like how high is the stick??”

“………OH! Like on a ride at Disneyland?? No no, you don’t have to be tall. I mean OLD enough. You’re old enough. You can be any height, you just have to be able to stay up late!”

“Are you KIDDING me?! I can do THAT!”

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Stinky and Winky

A conversation with Baylor in the backseat of the car:

“MOMMY!! Don’t blow [roll] my window up!!”

“Babe, it’s hot. Could you please roll it up?”

“I didn’t blow it down, my toe did. So if you want it blowed up, you’ll have to ask my foot.”

“Ooookkk. Baylor’s foot? Could you please roll…”

“STINKY! His name is Stinky!”

“Stinky, could you please roll the window up?”

“Mommeeeee. He’s a foot. He doesn’t have ears! He can’t hear you ask him to blow up the window!! But I can do it if you ask me nice.”

Que the sound of the wine bottle opening….

Also? Winky? Is her other foot. I asked her why her feet were boys and she just rolled her eyes at me. We’re in trouble.

Ham it Up

This guy? Is a ham. Like ham sandwich hammy. I think he’s learning how cute he is and is thinking it will get him out of trouble – and he’s probably right.

Take for instance his impromptu photo shoot on Easter:

Ham

IMG_6270

Hammier

IMG_6271Hammiest!
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Cousins? Just a good excuse for some hamminessIMG_6277 IMG_6278 IMG_6279

Maybe he gets it from these knuckleheads…IMG_6282 IMG_6281

21,000 Questions

I know that having your kids ask a ton of questions is a great sign that their minds are working and growing. But holy moly does Ms.B come up with a lot of questions. I try to answer them as truthfully as I can, but it can be a challege. If you have any good answers to the below questions, I’m all ears. These are all actual questions Baylor has asked :

Why does red mean stop and green mean go?

Who decided that red means stop and green means go?

Why doesn’t your car have a trunk? (we have an SUV)

Why do trucks have a bed?

What is the National Guard?

What is the army? (follow up question when I tried to tie it into the army…)

Who are these brave men and women? What are their names?

Why doesn’t Curious George have a tail? Monkeys have tails. (that’s actually a good one. I’m curious too.)

Why is that person riding the bus?

Why don’t they have a car?

Where is that person going?

Why don’t you know where that person is going?

Why is running good exercise?

Why do green beans make you grow?

Why is there a sign that says ducks cross here?

Why is that person running?

Why doesn’t Auggie have teeth?

Why do your teeth fall out?

Why did that lady on TV say that we need to make Arizona a nicer place? It’s already a nice place. (That one was pretty cute).

Why did that man on the news say California?

Why did that man on the news say Washington D.C.?

When are we getting a dog?

Why does that sign have a picture of (insert picture of anything here) on it?

Why do bees make flowers into tomatoes?

Why do babies not go poop on the toilet?

Why are you wearing that shirt?

Why do you think that shirt looks cute?

Why do you volunteer to help at school?

Why can’t I wear sunglasses at school?

Why does Henry get to wear sunglasses at school?

What is a medical condition?

Can I have a medical condition?

Usually one or two of these lead to follow up questions and explanations. It is also the reason I generally can’t talk or think by 7pm most nights. 

 

Deep Thoughts with Baylor: Gymnastics

“Mommy? Why do they call it gymnastics?”

“I guess because it’s in a gym.”

“No but why is it called gym-mats-sticks?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“I get why they say gym because it’s in a gym. And there are mats. But why do they say sticks? We don’t ever use any sticks! I wish we did get sticks.”

 

Baylorisms – Part 6

Tag of War:  Tug of War

Purshey Kisses: Hershey Kisses

Front Trunk : Hood of the car

Turn Sniggles: Turn signals

Polka Dots on your face: Freckles

Measles:  Another way we discuss freckles. We spend a lot of time asking about mommy’s freckles. Mommy in turn spends a lot of money at the Bobbi Brown counter…

Wigglers: Prairie Dogs

Auggie Baba:  Auggie Baby. She can say baby, she just chooses to say it funny

Dealershipper: Mechanic at the dealership

Trunk or Treat: Trick or Treat – her school event has ruined the actual phrase for her.

This one killed me – she was headed out the door with Peter when she stopped and yelled “Mommy! I forgot my manners! Toss them to me!!”. When I did, she pretended to eat them, thanked me and was on her way. I’m just slightly concerned about the fact that she’s this funny at 3…

Pillow Talk

Since B has been sleeping in a big girl bed, we’ve started the nightly routine of laying in bed and chatting for a few minutes before bed time. Peter swears it’s the most information he gets out of her all day because she wants you to stay so she keeps talking. It’s so funny to hear what’s on her mind while snuggling.

Peter explained what college was to her a few weeks ago. Since then I’ve made a habit of grabbing her and screaming “don’t leave meee!!!” periodically. To which she always responds “I HAVE to go to college, Mommy!”. It cracks me up that we even have this conversation at three years old. These exchanges flowed into bed time the other night and this is the conversation we had:

“I love you big girl – sweet dreams.”

“Mommy, I think you’re being kind of funny about college.”

“Oh really? How so?”

“Well, I have to go to college. I just do.”

“But I will miss you!!!”

“I will miss you too. So why don’t you come with me?”

“Come to college with you?”

“Yes.”

“Do I have to go to class or just be there with you?”

“Just be there with me.”

“Done and done. Mommy was a big fan of college the first time around so I think a second round would be splendid.”

“Good. So now you can stop being funny about it.”

Which completes my funny business about college. God help me if she goes somewhere that doesn’t have a decent bar….

Baylorisms – Part 5

I keep saying that I need to keep a list of the funny things B says – because by the time I get to my computer, I forget half of them! She is now at the point where she knows she’s not saying something right and has begun to say “Do you know what I’m talking bout? Does that make sense??” trying to convey her thoughts. Such a crack up and getting smarter by the minute.

Zanya – The name she gives a lot of her stuffed animals. I have no idea where it came from or what it means.

Nayday – Her horse’s name, the only one not named Zanya.

Hanitizer – The combination of Hand Sanitizer

Rondry room – Laundry room. She can say L’s, but for some reason that doesn’t translate to the laundry room.

Loyal-ler – Lawyer. As in “you don’t look like a loyal-ler when you where cowboy boots to work, Daddy”. Jury is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing.

Scoops – the arm motion that goes along with freestyle swim stroke. While watching the Olympics, she announce “oooh, look at her scoops!!”.

Stranger Danger?

I am a paranoid person – not a tin foil on my head, no Face Book page, off the grid kind of paranoid…but I am convinced that there is danger around every corner. I’ve roped PW into my insanity too and my mom feeds it as she is also convinced of the constant danger around us. Therefore it’s natural and B is picking up on a little of it – I’m not teaching her that the aliens are coming, but I do try to temper being friendly to people with being aware of strangers. More than once I have said that she can’t stay in the car by herself, play out in our front yard alone or talk to adults she doesn’t know without Mommy there because there are people who do steal kids. I’m not trying to freak her out, but I would rather her be overly cautious and come home at night than be concerned with offending someone she doesn’t know and never being heard from again.

That said, these conversations came to a head last week. We were at the grocery store and a little old couple was everywhere I needed to be. They were in front of the onions, blocking the corn and man handling every banana. Every time I turned around, one of them or their cart was in my way. I was hustling so I parked the cart with Baylor in the seat and made a bee-line for the strawberries when I saw an opening. The cart was no more than 4 feet from me, but B’s guard instantly went up and when the lady of the couple asked Baylor “Hi there. What’s your name?” B lowered her chin and looked straight at the woman with a don’t-mess-with-me face and said “Don’t try to steal me”.

I heard the entire transaction and was completely unable to stop myself from laughing out loud. The little old lady did not think it was funny so I quickly countered by letting Bay know it was ok to answer nicely since I was with her. Thankfully the woman and her hubby hurried off and kept their distance from us. Which lead to B and I giggling for the rest of the trip. Two problems solved; old people out of our way and lesson learned that even nice looking old people are potential kidnappers.

I mean really. It doesn’t get more intimidating than this….