Tag: humor

New Rules at Starbucks

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Well really, these are my new rules, but they should really consider adopting them.

1. If you are in line for longer than 1 minute and then you hesitate when it’s your turn to order,  you forfeit your turn.

2. If you are too consumed by your cell phone to notice the barista asking you what you want, you forfeit your turn.

3. If you cut in front of a woman with a child because you are too oblivious to notice that there is a line 12 people deep, I will say something smart like “No no, I wasn’t in line. Please, stand in front of me”.

4. If you don’t feel that using phrases like “excuse me” and “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was stepping on your foot” are beneath you, you forfeit your turn.

5. If your order has more than 4 instructions, you forfeit your turn (no Peter, a grande skinny vanilla latte does not count).

The things I will tolerate for my caffeine fix and because I have a gift card!

An Unholy Combination

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I had great hopes to write a lovely blog today regarding happiness. unfortunately, two vaccinations and a new tooth on the verge of breaking through the gum line created an unholy combination of pain that lead to a 3 hour melt down. I didn’t know the kid could actually cry that much. She was to the point of tear-less sobs and on the verge of dry heaving. All of my usual tricks did nothing – she sat in her bubble bath clenching two pacifiers and screaming with the third in her mouth. I even busted out chocolate milk thinking it might sooth the savage beast, but no. I resorted to driving her around on the 101 for about 40 minutes. It finally did the trick – she calmed down enough to fall asleep and then snuggle in once we got home.

I’m now exhausted, still staring at my to do list to get ready for the out-of-control huge brunch we’re throwing Sunday, tripping over the pile of presents to be wrapped and ignoring the fact that the dogs are in desperate need of a bath. I’m also seriously considering throwing in the towel and having a cocktail and nap myself….

What My Toddler Has Taught Me

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There are many lessons that Baylie has taught me. The two latest ones I’m still working on…

First, I’ve learned that I cannot rattle off a list of things we’re going to do anymore. I got into the habit of thinking out loud when Baylie was little. I read somewhere that it was good for their verbal skills or something. Now, it’s just a habit. I tend to list out the next things on our list like “Ok, lets pick up the toys, wash our hands and then we’ll get some dinner”. While this doesn’t seem like a big deal, to a kiddo who loooves to climb the stool to the sink in the bathroom, turn on the water and then splash around, this is music to her ears.  She doesn’t hear the order of the tasks to be completed, all she hears is “TIME TO PLAY IN THE WATER!!!!”. Which results in her running away while my  back is turned and helping herself to a sink full of fun.

Second, I cannot say a negative direction. Meaning, saying “Don’t spit out that carrot!” will result in her spitting out the carrot because I have said the word “spit” (I would like to thank Daddy for teaching her that one. Yes, Peter, it is important for her to spit out the toothpaste, however, she spits out EVERYTHING!!). Instead, I have to say “Please chew and swallow what is in your mouth” in order to avoid a deluge of partially chewed veggies.

Lastly, no matter how many times I try to sound out a word and ask her to repeat it, she will always say “da da”. Duh-uck = da da. Treee = da da. Airplane = air pane. Oddly, that’s the one she knows, can say and identify. Sigh…

 

 

What Christmas Cards Have Taught Me

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I have learned a lot from designing, writing, assembling, stuffing, stamping, sealing and addressing Christmas cards. Here are the highlights:

1. I am totally inept when it comes to accurately assessing how many cards I need.

2. No matter how many cards I think I need, I will always have more or less than what I need.

3. Putting a very cute picture of Baylie on the card only requires more work on my part.

4. The post office and the card people are in cahoots – 10 stamps in a book, 15 cards in a box.

5. 60 pictures centered and taped to cards, 60 envelopes stuffed and addressed (5 of which are still outstanding due to moved addresses) and the  taste of envelope adhesive on my tongue = we need less friends.

The out takes from getting the picture for our card. Note the marker, angel from the nativity scene, my phone and yes even the camera were used to get her to A. smile,  B. pose in a way that wasn’t weird and C. hold still long enough to get a good picture. The winner was actually a little soft, but it met criteria A and B so it wins!

Holiday Magic

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I wrote a few months ago about doing less shopping this year and more celebrating this holiday season in Christmas in August. Last night was a perfect example of why I wanted to get the shopping out of the way and focus on the non-retail part of the holidays.

Peter and I had a date to have a glass of wine (or two), sit on the couch and stare at the Christmas tree. We were snuggled under a quilt (yes we had to open the door so it would be cool enough to do this) and it dawned on me that we were doing the same thing 11 years ago. He was dropping me off at my house after a date our senior year of high school. The house was dark and the tree was lit up so we sat on the couch in silence just staring at the tree. It was so beautiful and it felt like one of those great Christmasy things to do. We were both thinking of what the future would hold; high school graduation, college, grad school, etc. and dreaming of what might be. If we had only known then how good it would be.  How good it would feel to have such a beautiful little girl sleeping peacefully in the other room, to be happily married to each other and to have a cozy house to call home. Not to be worried about what gifts we are getting for our family and friends or if we had spent too much, but rather to sit and let the magic of this season and the memories of the past swirl around us while we enjoyed being in each other’s company.

Pictures from the last few Christmases:

Our first tree in DC:

Our last Christmas in DC:

Bear and Travis being tortured:

Our first Christmas as a family:

How fast they go from this….

To this!

A House United

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I’m sure many of you have seen the cute little window stickers for couples where one attended THE University of Arizona and the other attended that other state school – they read “A House Divided”. Thankfully, we’re not that couple. Instead, both PW and I attended UofA. In fact, Peter is a second generation Wildcat. Both his mom and dad attended although they didn’t know each other until after college. We have many a UofA ornament and I made a UofA tree for Hal and Marilyn a few years ago that features a picture of each of the graduates in the fam.

I originally intended this post for last week for the annual Territorial Cup or the Duel in the Desert as it’s also known. It’s one of the oldest trophy rivalry games in the country. Unfortunately, we lost this year and I blame my camera. You see, it apparently called the computer fat and so the two devices wouldn’t talk and I could not upload my super cute picture of Baylie with her game face on thus costing the team valuable spirit points. Maybe if Zendejas had a little more spirit coming his way, he wouldn’t have blown those two kicks….but I digress. Game face: while not scary, it is adorable, no?

And So It Begins

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Today began what will be a lifetime of milestones – education wise that is. Ms.B graduated from being a “little bird” to a “big beast” at the Little Gym.

We started attending Little Gym classes when Baylie was about 10 months old. At that time, she was the only baby in the class who didn’t walk. And much like her parents, her ego got the best of her and two weeks later, she walked! Not only is it fun, but I think she’s learned a lot too. Colors, textures, words, throwing, kicking, sharing and patience are just a few of the things I think she’s really picked up on.  It’s also a great excuse to put down my ever-growing “to do” list, get down on the floor and have fun. It’s hard to believe how much she’s changed in these last 8 months and how many more changes we’re in for. Today was so fun, but a little sad too to think how fast she is growing up!

A few pics from today’s graduation. Please note that not only is she standing on the podium, she gave all her friends a nice “parade wave” as she got her medal. She’s 18 months going on 18 years!

If You See This…

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If you see this, it might be time to take away the pacifier….

I think my plan of “wait until she is old enough to understand and say ‘bye bye’ to them” may have to come a little sooner than I anticipated….

Mom V. Dad – Dressing the Kiddo

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This will make sense in a minute.

We all know that moms and dads are different. I think every couple has great examples of what dad does better and what mom does better – everything from discipline to bathing are unique. Peter is great at putting Baylie to bed and I think better at swim lessons with her. I think I can get her to eat just about anything and can usually defuse the worst tantrum.

There is one thing I KNOW I’m better at…and now I have proof. This is how Peter dressed Bay:

And this is how I dressed her later that same day:

Now, in all fairness, it was Thanksgiving morning and they were getting ready to go for a bike ride. I’m not really sure why that meant she had to wear pink socks and shoes of two different hues and a sweatshirt from the lodge where he goes bird hunting (note the pheasant).  But really, there’s a clear winner, no?

Dear Mother Nature…

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Dear Mother Nature,

I find it adorable that you decided to make it finally feel like fall THIS week. I’m sure you remember Thanksgiving ’08 where you thought it would be cute to make it cold and rainy. I can fit 20+ people into our house for dinner, but it’s not pretty. You know what is pretty? Our backyard. Which is where I intend to feed 18 people a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. Now, MN, you know most of us are natives or have lived in AZ so long, we’re considered natives. We can deal with 110, but 60…60 is just too cold. My mom can’t eat dinner with gloves on.

So let’s make a deal: you make it 70+ for Thanksgiving and you can do whatever you want for the rest of the year. Sound good?

Kisses,

Beth