So this is belated, but it’s still funny so here goes.
My sister gave me the following two gifts:
My first thought was “amazing gifts that will get used daily”. Then I started to think about what her gifts say about me:
1. I have great sister who really knows me.
2. I got two gifts that will definitely get use.
3. I may have a bit of a caffeine addiction.
4. Perhaps I talk a little too much about my love of wine.
5. My sister is a smart ass.
Do you enjoy reading The Goon Room? Does it make you laugh, smile and help pass the boring hours at work? Can you relate, disagree or have you made one of the recipes I’ve posted? Then please rate The Goon Room on The Mom Blogs! Note the new link in the blog roll on the right —->
Link to new page on The Mom Blogs:
http://themomblogs.com/blogs/detail.php?link_id=11847
As always, thank you for reading. I enjoy writing and especially love writing The Goon Room and it’s huge that you all take the time to read and comment. I’ll remember you in the acknowledgments of my first book.
Dear Bowl Game Tourist,
So glad you could join us in the Valley of the Sun for your team’s bowl game this year. While we’re all so happy to see your hard-earned dollars, some of us are not as thrilled to see you.
I would like to point out a few things to you to reference for the remainder of your visit and also any future visits (God help us). First, it is not necessary for you to wear your team’s paraphernalia aaalll the time. Also, more than one article of clothing with team logos, colors, slogans, mascots, etc. is not only tacky, it’s overdone. The locations where you are wearing these items should also be noted; i.e. nice restaurants and church are two places you should refrain from wearing head to toe blue and bright orange. God is happy to see you, however, he is not an Auburn fan and would like you to leave your obnoxiously loud and somewhat blinding scarf at the hotel.
Also, if you look up the crime stats of Scottsdale, I think you’ll find the results very reassuring. Therefore wearing your purse strapped across your chest while buying native american “artifacts” in Old Town is not necessary. Also, we know it’s cold where you live and comparatively, Scottsdale is warm. However, bearing your pasty white legs with socks pulled up to mid calf and shorts so short they should be illegal is again, unnecessary.
Lastly, while I think it is awesome that you actually paid for the neat window flags that you put on each window of your car with a big yellow “O”, it would be smart to pay attention to where you are driving rather than looking at your pretty flags. For example: the yellow lane in the middle of the street is a turn lane. The one with white dashed lines is a through or driving lane. Therefore slamming on the brakes of your rental car in the middle of the driving lane rather than the turn lane is a problem. Also, the pretty white sign on the side of the road with the black numbers on it are speed limits, not speed suggestions. So do your very best to match the speedometer to that neat number.
So as Auburn takes on Oregon tonight, I can’t help but just be excited that it will soon be all over and you all will be traveling home. Good luck, safe travels and next year, just send us a check.
Kisses!
When I order these bad boys, it will be official that I’ve given up on life.
I had the tv on in the bedroom while putting on makeup this past weekend and heard this infomercial. I thought it was a joke so I leaned into the room to see the screen. Sadly, it is no joke. Coming to a pathetic person near you, the Pajama Jean.
I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas, we certainly did. Our goal was to cut back on the retail side of the holiday as mentioned in Christmas in August. And the result was a success. We had a wonderful holiday with little stress and a lot of fun.
The only real downer of the weekend was our annual spat driving to my step sister’s house Christmas morning. We get together with all of our family and in a deluge of paper, open presents. It’s crazy and so much fun. But for the third year in a row, there has been an argument that has thankfully ended happily while we drive. Not sure if it’s the early hour, the getting-three-people-out-the-door-on-time or what, but there’s always something. Last year the climax of the fight was me saying “It’s done! I’ve already bought all the gifts so no matter what we spent, it’s done! So you’re going to drop it and we’re going to have a happy, goddamn Christmas!!”. Followed by three seconds of silence and then a car full of laughter. You know it’s bad when swear words are in the same sentence as Christmas. This year’s argument ended similarly with me saying “I might be grouchy, but you’re throwing out the bait and I’m taking it!!”. Silence…me realizing that none of that made any sense, laughter and then it’s over.
Updated with a great pic of me and Ms.B:
Well really, these are my new rules, but they should really consider adopting them.
1. If you are in line for longer than 1 minute and then you hesitate when it’s your turn to order, you forfeit your turn.
2. If you are too consumed by your cell phone to notice the barista asking you what you want, you forfeit your turn.
3. If you cut in front of a woman with a child because you are too oblivious to notice that there is a line 12 people deep, I will say something smart like “No no, I wasn’t in line. Please, stand in front of me”.
4. If you don’t feel that using phrases like “excuse me” and “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was stepping on your foot” are beneath you, you forfeit your turn.
5. If your order has more than 4 instructions, you forfeit your turn (no Peter, a grande skinny vanilla latte does not count).
The things I will tolerate for my caffeine fix and because I have a gift card!
I had great hopes to write a lovely blog today regarding happiness. unfortunately, two vaccinations and a new tooth on the verge of breaking through the gum line created an unholy combination of pain that lead to a 3 hour melt down. I didn’t know the kid could actually cry that much. She was to the point of tear-less sobs and on the verge of dry heaving. All of my usual tricks did nothing – she sat in her bubble bath clenching two pacifiers and screaming with the third in her mouth. I even busted out chocolate milk thinking it might sooth the savage beast, but no. I resorted to driving her around on the 101 for about 40 minutes. It finally did the trick – she calmed down enough to fall asleep and then snuggle in once we got home.
I’m now exhausted, still staring at my to do list to get ready for the out-of-control huge brunch we’re throwing Sunday, tripping over the pile of presents to be wrapped and ignoring the fact that the dogs are in desperate need of a bath. I’m also seriously considering throwing in the towel and having a cocktail and nap myself….
There are many lessons that Baylie has taught me. The two latest ones I’m still working on…
First, I’ve learned that I cannot rattle off a list of things we’re going to do anymore. I got into the habit of thinking out loud when Baylie was little. I read somewhere that it was good for their verbal skills or something. Now, it’s just a habit. I tend to list out the next things on our list like “Ok, lets pick up the toys, wash our hands and then we’ll get some dinner”. While this doesn’t seem like a big deal, to a kiddo who loooves to climb the stool to the sink in the bathroom, turn on the water and then splash around, this is music to her ears. She doesn’t hear the order of the tasks to be completed, all she hears is “TIME TO PLAY IN THE WATER!!!!”. Which results in her running away while my back is turned and helping herself to a sink full of fun.
Second, I cannot say a negative direction. Meaning, saying “Don’t spit out that carrot!” will result in her spitting out the carrot because I have said the word “spit” (I would like to thank Daddy for teaching her that one. Yes, Peter, it is important for her to spit out the toothpaste, however, she spits out EVERYTHING!!). Instead, I have to say “Please chew and swallow what is in your mouth” in order to avoid a deluge of partially chewed veggies.
Lastly, no matter how many times I try to sound out a word and ask her to repeat it, she will always say “da da”. Duh-uck = da da. Treee = da da. Airplane = air pane. Oddly, that’s the one she knows, can say and identify. Sigh…
I wrote a few months ago about doing less shopping this year and more celebrating this holiday season in Christmas in August. Last night was a perfect example of why I wanted to get the shopping out of the way and focus on the non-retail part of the holidays.
Peter and I had a date to have a glass of wine (or two), sit on the couch and stare at the Christmas tree. We were snuggled under a quilt (yes we had to open the door so it would be cool enough to do this) and it dawned on me that we were doing the same thing 11 years ago. He was dropping me off at my house after a date our senior year of high school. The house was dark and the tree was lit up so we sat on the couch in silence just staring at the tree. It was so beautiful and it felt like one of those great Christmasy things to do. We were both thinking of what the future would hold; high school graduation, college, grad school, etc. and dreaming of what might be. If we had only known then how good it would be. How good it would feel to have such a beautiful little girl sleeping peacefully in the other room, to be happily married to each other and to have a cozy house to call home. Not to be worried about what gifts we are getting for our family and friends or if we had spent too much, but rather to sit and let the magic of this season and the memories of the past swirl around us while we enjoyed being in each other’s company.
Pictures from the last few Christmases:
Our first tree in DC:
Our last Christmas in DC:
Bear and Travis being tortured:
Our first Christmas as a family:
How fast they go from this….
To this!
I’m sure many of you have seen the cute little window stickers for couples where one attended THE University of Arizona and the other attended that other state school – they read “A House Divided”. Thankfully, we’re not that couple. Instead, both PW and I attended UofA. In fact, Peter is a second generation Wildcat. Both his mom and dad attended although they didn’t know each other until after college. We have many a UofA ornament and I made a UofA tree for Hal and Marilyn a few years ago that features a picture of each of the graduates in the fam.
I originally intended this post for last week for the annual Territorial Cup or the Duel in the Desert as it’s also known. It’s one of the oldest trophy rivalry games in the country. Unfortunately, we lost this year and I blame my camera. You see, it apparently called the computer fat and so the two devices wouldn’t talk and I could not upload my super cute picture of Baylie with her game face on thus costing the team valuable spirit points. Maybe if Zendejas had a little more spirit coming his way, he wouldn’t have blown those two kicks….but I digress. Game face: while not scary, it is adorable, no?
The Goon Room 